My Husband Shocked Me With a Dangerous Joke, So I Taught Him a Lesson

For most couples, pregnancy is a happy and exciting time, especially if both partners have an open line of communication. But what happens when boundaries are tested, repeatedly, all in the name of a joke? One such Redditor shared her somewhat mystifying story, asking if her behavior was unreasonable.

A pregnant woman can’t understand her husband’s antics.

[edited] So, I’m currently pregnant, about 6 months along, and my husband has been doing this thing every time we go to the doctor’s. I told him it bothers me, but he just brushed it off and said I’m overreacting. He says that he’s “just having fun.”

He thinks it’s hilarious and says he’s just “messing with me.” He’ll drive me to the clinic, for the appointment, and when I’m about to get in the car, he drives forward a little, then reverses, then drives forward again.

He does this a few times, and it always frustrates me. I’m already dealing with the physical and emotional toll of pregnancy, and this just feels like him poking fun at me when I’m already tired and stressed.

We had a big fight about it the other day. I tried to explain how it’s making me feel, and he got defensive, saying I need to lighten up and that it’s “just a joke.” I told him it wasn’t funny anymore, and it wasn’t something I wanted to deal with during my pregnancy.

The final straw was when he did it again before a doctor appointment yesterday, and I was just done. I ended up calling my mom to take me instead and told my husband he was banned from all future appointments.

Well, now he’s furious. He’s demanding to be there for the next appointment because it’s the one where we’ll find out the baby’s gender. He says this is a huge moment, and I’m being unfair by not letting him come.

I told him I need him to respect my boundaries, and this is one of the ways I’m doing that. But he keeps insisting that it’s just a silly little thing, and now he’s calling me unreasonable for making a big deal out of it. Am I overreacting here?

Redditors felt it was completely the husband’s fault.

• It doesn’t matter how little or silly something is, when someone asks you to stop, you stop.
  I used to jump scare my sister all the time, and I told that story to my partner, and he said he HATES that stuff, so you know what, I never have done that to him. It is that easy.
  Your husband has made it clear that him getting a laugh or satisfaction from something is more important than your feelings or comfort. Even now, with consequences for not listening to you, he isn’t saying he is sorry or won’t do it again, just that you need to get over it, meaning he hasn’t learned a thing. © mfruitfly / Reddit
• He doesn’t respect your very reasonable boundary. His emotional intelligence needs some work. Also, jokes involving a vehicle and a pregnancy are not funny. © Abel_Zero / Reddit
• “Explain how it’s funny. What makes it funny?” Then wait. If he keeps pressing that it’s “just a joke” then tell him you don’t understand how it’s funny, you need to hear what makes him laugh about it.
  Is it frustrating you? Hurting your feelings? Ignoring you? Is that what’s funny?
  “This is one of the biggest milestones a mother can have, and you’re hurting me and tarnishing my memory. This is what I’ll remember, not how well you took care of me and how happy it was. I’ll remember you mocking me and insulting me.” If everyone isn’t laughing, it’s not a joke. © ilovegifsofjif / Reddit
• He’s ruined what should have been happy doctor’s visits together, bonding over the growing baby. Instead, he acts like a 12-year-old boy with a go cart. He’s too immature. © SunShineShady / Reddit

The mother-in-law was no help either.

You’re right, it’s not even funny, and I don’t know why he kept doing as if we never talked about it before. But he said that my decision was way out of line and claimed I’m trying to rob him from being a father, and even said that he’s worried what I might do when the birth of our baby comes.

And now his mom is trying to “talk some sense” into me, but I already told her to talk to her son, not me. © KnownPerception7676 / Reddit

Some people offered a few radical solutions.

• Don’t let him go, tell him it’s a boy, not really it’s a girl, not it’s a boy, but it’s actually a girl, even though it’s really a boy then tell him to lighten up because it’s funny. © panikattaaak / Reddit
• Seriously, do that and do it for at least a week or so, and then when he demands you stop, you can tell him it’s just a harmless joke. © IslandChill_420-024 / Reddit
• Let him come to the appointment, then tell the doctor in front of him what he does. Ask the doctor if it’s your hormones or if your husband is just a giant idiot. © kellyelise515 / Reddit
• This could be just the thing to bring him some self-awareness, especially if the doctor is another male. The shame of a more educated person looking at him askance and with a look of,
  “I can’t believe I have to spell this out to this bozo,” on his face could jolt him out of his bubble. Or maybe not. But it’s worth a try. © Eleganceshmelegance / Reddit

Even in the best of relationships and marriages, sometimes pregnancy can be a more of a divisive time than a joyful one. Just like for this woman, who can’t believe what her husband said to her, when she was pregnant.