My Husband Spends Too Much Money on His Late Girlfriend’s Sister—And His Latest Gift Idea Crosses the Line

Family & kids
2 hours ago

Balancing family, finances, and emotions is tough enough—but things get even trickier when past relationships start to meddle. A Reddit user, MerakiMist, is dealing with a situation where her husband’s over-the-top generosity toward his late girlfriend’s younger sister is causing serious tension at home. With a growing family and a tight budget, she’s left wondering if his lingering guilt is going to affect their future together.

A strong bond

The wife, a 28-year-old mother of three (soon to be four), describes her husband as “an amazing father” who she couldn’t ask more from.

But there’s one thing that’s causing her concern: his relationship with Clara, the younger sister of his late childhood best friend and girlfriend. His late girlfriend tragically passed away 17 years ago in an accident that the OP’s husband survived. He has since treated Clara as his own little sister.

A father figure

“My husband has known Clara since she was a baby.” In fact, the guest bedroom in their home has become Clara’s regular space. “Her family had a lot of financial problems, while my husband has a very high-earning career. He’s always attended her dance recitals, school plays, and sports events. He brings her along on our family vacations,” the wife explains. “He says he felt guilty letting her struggle while he has all this money he doesn’t use.”

Over the years, “he’s spent a lot of money on her,” including “any gift she wanted,” such as electronics, designer clothes, and even a car for her 16th birthday. He covered the cost of custom-made dresses for both of her proms. He’s paid for her college tuition, living expenses, and even supported her during her pregnancy. “He was extremely supportive of Clara during her pregnancy, paying for her daughter’s expenses and helping Clara look after her,” the wife shares.

The issue has come to a head.

“Recently, Clara got engaged, and my husband told me he wanted to help pay for the wedding and buy her her own house as a wedding present.” This is where the wife draws the line, “Clara wants a very over-the-top, extravagant, multi-day wedding. My husband guesses it’s probably going to cost around 150k. And that’s not even including the price of the house, which he plans to buy in an affluent area.”

“I said this was getting out of hand,” the wife admits. “We’ve got a lot of expenses coming up with the new baby.” However, her husband doesn’t see it that way. “He says he sees Clara as part of our family, and he can afford to take care of her as well as our kids.” He insists that he’s not helping out of obligation or guilt, but out of a genuine bond he’s formed with Clara.

The wife is trying to explain that while it’s kind and generous to help Clara, their own kids and future need to be prioritized. “I said that it was sweet how much he cared about her, but he shouldn’t be prioritizing Clara’s needs over his actual family,” she explains.

Deep concerns

As the situation continues to unfold, the wife is left wondering if her husband’s generous nature is starting to hurt their family’s financial future. Her concern stems from his intense guilt over surviving the accident. She feels that his desire to help Clara is more about dealing with his own emotions than actually helping her in a healthy way. There’s also concern that Clara is becoming too reliant on his wealth and not learning to support herself.

This worry is echoed by Reddit commenters. NoSign9024 writes, “I would say this is even setting her up for failure later on. He isn’t going to be able to give her money forever. Eventually, there’s gonna be not enough to give out anymore, and she’s learning from him that she doesn’t need to worry about having the money to take care of her family.”

Due-Freedom4258 decided to give a piece of advice: “She definitely knows she can get whatever she wants, whenever she wants it from him, and he’ll do it out of guilt (for some reason). OP’s husband should do an experiment with Clara and ’cut’ her off for a bit, say they’re having some money troubles at the moment, and see how often she ends up coming around.”

Another commenter, Invisible_Friend1, chose a more practical approach: “If your bio children’s college accounts are not topped off, your retirement not fully funded, yearly tuition not accounted for, and a family + medical emergency fund not completely overflowing... you don’t have the cash to drop on this girl’s 150k wedding plus a house.”

In the end, the situation highlights the importance of understanding the deeper motivations behind generosity. While it’s great to want to help others, especially family, it’s crucial to balance that with the well-being and future of your own household. Setting clear boundaries and prioritizing your financial security should always be your top concern.

Preview photo credit MerakiMist / Reddit

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