I Cut My MIL Off Because of What She Said to My Daughter About Me

Family & kids
2 months ago

Family life can be filled with ups and downs. But there are some lines that can’t be crossed. In today’s story, we learn about one of those cases. What started as a family drama, turned out to be a police case.

She told what happened.

I (30 F) was in a car crash. I had to be cut out of the car. I wasn’t seriously injured though, thankfully, but the other person unfortunately wasn’t doing too well, from what I saw before I was taken away to the hospital. I was told to stay in the hospital overnight to see if I suffered from a concussion. I rang my husband and told him what happened. My MIL got the incidents mixed up when he dropped off our daughters 6,11 to my MIL while he rushed to see me.

The next morning, my husband brought our daughters while I was waiting to be discharged. Upon seeing me, my 6-year-old busted into tears and said, «I don’t want you to die.» I comforted her and said I’m not dying, and I was very lucky. She then said Granny said she hoped I die so that they and my husband could come live with her. My husband and I were shocked, and my 12-year-old confirmed she heard her say that. My husband said he was going to ring MIL.

When he came back in the room, he looked furious. But didn’t say anything until after we got home, and he said that my MIL denied it, but after he kept pushing she ended up admitting it. She said she didn’t mean it. I thought we were close. But I guess not.

I am incredibly hurt that she would want that. I said I wanted me and the girls to have no contact with her. I told my husband that he could have a relationship with her, but I don’t want me and the girls to have one with her. My husband said he supports me. He then rang MIL and told her what I said.

She didn’t take it too well. She came to our house crying and saying it was a misunderstanding, she didn’t mean it, and that we were taking it the wrong way. My husband asked what did you mean then?

She just got hysterical and started crying and saying she always wanted daughters, but my husband was the only child due to her not being able to have anymore after him, and that the girls are more like her daughters than granddaughters. She said she wasn’t thinking properly when she said that to our 6-year-old. She got so worked up that my husband had to take her home.

When he got back he said he didn’t know she felt like that and asked if I still wanted to cut her off. I said yes! He said okay and didn’t argue. But it’s been a week now, and he is still very quiet and hasn’t said much about what happened, and now I’m starting to feel guilty and wondering if I did take it the wrong way.

People stood by her side

  • «She traumatized your child. It was horrifying for your daughter to hear that. Stand your ground. She needs at the very least a good LONG time-out.
    Do not let your husband or anyone sweep this under the rug because doing that would make everyone think it’s perfectly okay for MIL to hope you died, and for your daughters to lose their mom. That’s sickening!» Laquila / Reddit
  • «You do realize that she basically told your husband that she didn’t want a boy. He’s probably dealing with his own issues at the moment, and that’s why he’s been quiet.» nick4424 / Reddit
  • «She can think whatever she wants, but that’s traumatizing to say to a child. Protect the girls from whatever other weird stuff she may say.» PQRVWXZ- / Reddit

Later, she gave everyone an update.

Well, you guys were right. I decided to talk to my husband and asked if he was upset that I decided that me and the girls to have no contact with my MIL. He said he wasn’t. He said he always knew that his mom wanted a daughter instead of him, and it brought back all the bad memories of rejection and hurt he felt growing up as a kid by her.

I suggested therapy and he’s willing to go. We are also going to get therapy for our 6-year-old, as she now gets anxious if I’m not within her sight.

My husband agreed that going without contact with my MIL is the best thing for our family. Our daughter’s birthday is coming up, and we have yet to tell her she is no longer invited. Not looking forward to that.

Followed by an unbelievable turn of events.

I didn’t think I would be posting here again and thought my last update would be my last. But here we are. My MIL has been arrested. My husband’s cousin found my post and knew it was me, and she reported it straight to my MIL. She came over and screamed that we couldn’t keep her daughters away from her.

My husband tried to calm her down and get her to leave. She wouldn’t and attacked him. My husband had to restrain her and I called the police. She fought them, but it got her nowhere except the back of their car. The woman is truly insane.

My husband talked to the police because I had to calm down my daughters because they witnessed the whole thing. My 6-year-old was hysterical about Granny being taken away. This is all just a big mess.

Luckily, she had everyone’s back.

  • «I feel so bad for your husband, like, how incredibly upsetting.» Koalabootie / Reddit
  • «Make sure you press charges and file a restraining order. If she is actually mentally ill, that’s for her lawyer to handle to plea her into help. The restraining order is needed.» Dachshundmom5 / Reddit
  • «Tell the school that grandma is NOT an approved pickup person.» Exciting-Award5025 / Reddit
  • «I am so sorry you are your family are going through this, especially your daughters. It must be so confusing for them.» SuperbSalamander5175 / Reddit

The decision to cut off ties with one’s mother-in-law due to hurtful words spoken to one’s own child is undoubtedly a difficult and painful one. However, when a boundary is crossed that undermines the integrity of the parent-child relationship and causes emotional harm, it becomes necessary to prioritize the well-being and protection of one’s family unit. Moving forward, it is essential to focus on nurturing positive and supportive relationships within the family, while also maintaining firm boundaries to safeguard against further harm.

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