My MIL Is the Sweetest Person on Earth With Me, but I Hate Her With All My Heart, Here’s Why
Our reader, a 35-year-old woman named Kelly, is desperate because of her intricate relationship with her MIL. While many women are complaining that their mothers-in-law are misbehaving with them, and it costs a lot of effort for them to win their appreciation, Kelly's story is just the opposite. Her mother-in-law is the kindest person on Earth, and she's never said a bad word about Kelly. But our heroine is struggling so much, because she actually hates the mother of her husband, and she gave her reasons for it in her candid letter to us.
Kelly is absolutely happy in her second marriage.
Kelly, a 35-year-old woman, has faced a very complicated situation in her relationship with her in-laws. In particular, with her mother-in-law, who's probably the dream MIL of every woman, but not for Kelly.
The woman wrote us a letter, where she told us her story and she asked our readers about their opinions on this tough and complicated situation. Kelly wrote, "I know that many people will probably judge me, but I can't tell about my feelings to anyone, this is why I'm pouring my heart out, and I desperately need advice."
Kelly started her letter, saying, "My husband Jack and I have been married for 5 years. For both of us, this is not the first marriage, and we both definitely know what we want and expect from our relationship. I'm in love with Jack, and I sincerely adore his personality. He's cheerful, optimistic and open-minded person, he's always the heart of every company because of his brilliant sense of humor and his overall nice personality. He loves me with all his heart, and we are so happy in our relationship, but there's a grain of salt in it, and it's his mom, Susan."
Kelly’s MIL is a very kind and nice person, and here’s where the problem lies.
Kelly wrote, "Susan is a very intelligent, smart and beautiful woman. She might be a model to follow for everyone who admires strong people and wants to achieve everything in life on their own. She's been working as a lawyer all her life, and she prospered in her job, having gained a smooth and excellent reputation in her business circle."
The woman revealed, "I expected that such an independent and smart woman, who achieved such a tremendous success in life, would treat me with a sort of despise, this was my stereotype about Susan after I heard so many stories about her character from Jack. But, to my deepest surprise, Susan instantly accepted me in her family. She's been fawning and doting on me since our first meeting with her.
Susan has been always saying how happy she is that her son met me. She calls me her daughter, and she's sincerely paying me compliments on my appearance, my clothes, my cooking skills and my life achievements. Susan may seem like an extremely nice woman and I should have been happy with such a cordial and sincere attitude, but I hate her with every fiber of my being, and I can't let this feeling go."
Kelly has a strong reason for her bad feelings about her MIL.
Kelly wrote, "I can't return Susan her love and care. I can't pretend that I feel about her the same she feels about me. And it's all because of what she's done to my husband, Jack."
The woman goes on with her story, saying, "From the very beginning of our relationship, I noticed that, despite his eternal optimism and a bright personality, Jack has been feeling depressed and insecure. He demonstrated this only with those, whom he had a huge trust in, and I became such a person for him. He didn't hide his true personality from me and didn't pretend that he doesn't have this dark side of his eternal and sincere smile."
Kelly added, "Susan has been raising him and his 2 older brothers alone. Being an aspiring lawyer made her pay more attention to her career than to her own kids, and this probably could be understood, but the way she treated her sons was out of the ordinary. Jack told me that Susan would always prioritize his brothers over him. Susan always praised them and told them how good they were, even in their smallest achievements. Jack was the youngest of brothers, and he was always told that he was "the loser" and "a hopelessly ignorant kid".
As he was growing up, his older brothers already got some nice career start in the company where Susan worked, but there was no such plan for Jack. Susan told him that he wasn't "decent enough" to become a lawyer and that his place under the sun must be won by himself. She totally refused to help him in anything."
Kelly said, "Jack has always been dreaming of becoming a lawyer, just like his mother. But with her attitude, this woman absolutely killed his potential in this sphere. The dream remained only a dream, and he never even approached this sphere, thinking that he would definitely fail. This was instilled into his mind from his childhood, and it took a toll on his adult life significantly."
Jack forgave his mother, but Kelly just can’t.
Kelly wrote, "I know that Susan had always been dreaming of having a daughter, and when the youngest son was born, this was the end of the world for her. She wanted to have a girl and to raise her and educate her the way Susan was raised and educated, and she had an ambition of raising a live copy of herself. But Jack was her last hope, and it didn't come true, because he turned to be a boy and this was his automatic guilt from his very birth."
The woman said, "I know that Jack doesn't hold grudges against his mom. He keeps justifying her behavior, saying that she only wanted the best for all of her sons, and that she has always been just a woman, with her hopes and dreams. But I just can't forgive this woman and, what is more, I suspect that she loves me so much, because she projects her unfulfilled hopes of having a daughter on me. She needs me to become the copy of her, and that's why I'm feeling disgusted, shocked and frustrated.
I feel like I'm betraying my husband with my only existence, because his mom treats me way better than her own son. I say that I hate her, and I mean it. What should I do to settle things down between me and her?"
And here’s yet another story from a woman, whose MIL is so possessive of her husband that she even makes attempt to penetrate into their bedroom and sleep with them in one bed.