It depends on if there was a dress code. Personally I don't see the appeal of ripped jeans and a crop top makes sense on the beach but at a family gathering? I wouldn't do it but I'm more of a classic understated little black dress type person.
Hello, Bright Side,
I’m Amy. It was my MIL’s birthday. For context, this time I was wearing ripped jeans, a crop top, and a jacket. As soon as I walked in, she gave me a once-over and pursed her lips. I thought that was it. But later, when the rest of the family arrived, she said loudly, “Back in my day, women didn’t need to show skin to feel confident.”
I immediately shot back: “Or maybe you just didn’t have the confidence to dress how you wanted.”
The room went dead quiet. My MIL gasped and muttered something about “respect.” My FIL awkwardly tried to change the subject, but I added that respect goes both ways, and her comment wasn’t exactly respectful.
MIL started crying, saying she was “just making an observation,” and stormed off to her room. Now I’m being accused of “ruining the night” even though I just tried to protect myself. Do I owe an apology to my MIL?
She didn't need to make the comment to start with you stood up for yourself if she didn't like it she should have kept her mouth shut to begin with
It certainly seems that from what you have written here, she has NO PROBLEM being DISRESPECTFUL TO YOU. IF I had a body that allowed me to wear crop tops (40 years ago I could Rock THAT LOOK) I probably would have too. Your MIL sounds like she is VERY GOOD AT PLAYING THE GAME, SHE JUST LOST THIS TIME. You can't RUIN something that SHE PLANNED on ruining herself. It wouldn't matter what you wore, it sounds like she would have made inappropriate and judgemental comments no matter what. She apparently thrives on playing the victim if she gets called out, otherwise she continues to be nasty and perhaps jealous. If she had ANY CLASS OR TACT, she would have made her "observation" privately. You're good on this, and you can do better than staying with a man who won't defend you or being married into a family that insults you.
It sounds as if her family has allowed her to get away with being disrespectful anytime she wants. You have a right to defend yourself especially since it doesn't sound like your husband would have done it.
Keep in mind however, in the future she probably won't say things to your face it'll be always behind your back.
No fuck her, she tried belittling you and you put her in her place
Hi, Amy,
You do not owe a full apology for defending yourself. Your MIL made a public comment that was critical and dismissive. However, if family harmony matters to you, here are some ideas on how you can approach this situation constructively.
Again, it’s not appropriate to criticize anyone’s appearance, especially in front of others. Personal style is a choice, and comments about it often cross the line into disrespect. Setting boundaries is reasonable, and you don’t need to feel guilty for protecting yourself.
Yours,
Bright Side
Some people take it even further—demanding your seat, your food, even your time off. And when they don’t get their way? That’s when the real drama begins: 14 Entitled People Who Think the World Revolves Around Them
