My Mom Chose Her Young Boyfriend Over Me When I Needed Her Most

year ago

Loneliness is a hard feeling, and it feels so great to find someone special who gives you love and comfort. Our reader’s mom has finally found a new partner after many years of solitude. It brought so many positive changes, however, their mother-daughter relationship got worse.

Our reader shared her story with us.

Lyn Powell

year ago

I'm so sorry to hear that your having problems with your mental health and job position. She's your mum and you say that you have been there for her when she need you. I'm a mother myself I could not and would not turn my daughter away. A mother's love is unconditional. Yes maybe I don't like what my daughter gets up too. But I'd never turn her away in any situation. Try to speak to her on her own and ask her to hear you out that's the least she can do. I was lonely for yrs after my divorce form her dad that caused a lot of friction between us. I'm 54 my daughter is 23. I have a new partner. I can tell you I would not put him before my daughter... I hope you resolve this awful situation soon. And I hope you get better.. L. P. I in Wales

Thank you for sharing your story with us! We’re sorry that you’re going through such a rough patch. We’ve prepared some tips that we hope you’ll find useful.

Consider other options.

It’s clear your mom doesn’t want you at her place. You have two options: wait until she changes her mind (if she ever does), or find somewhere else to stay. You could rent a small room, or maybe ask other family members or friends for help if money’s tight. It’s sad that your mom left you alone, but there’s not much to do.

Talk to her again.

Try talking to your mom one more time. Maybe she wasn’t in a good mood, and that’s why she refused to let you stay. You could suggest going for a walk together or meeting somewhere without revealing the reason at first.

Once she’s comfortable and the conversation flows, bring up the possibility of living with her again. Perhaps she’ll be more willing this time.

Reassure your mom.

She might be thinking you’ll always stay with her and that “looking for a job” is just an excuse. Prove to her that you’re actually seeking ways to get your life back on track. If needed, you can even offer to pay a small rent for your room once you start earning money. This way, she’ll understand that you aren’t going to live with her forever.

Tell her how much you love her.

You might have accidentally hurt her without even realizing it. Consider if she has ever complained about your behavior or asked you to do certain things for her that you neglected. She could be holding onto a grudge that has strained your relationship. It doesn’t guarantee a positive outcome, but it’s worth making an effort to improve your relationship.

Hitting your 40s can be tough, especially when you’re suddenly faced with reminders of how your body has changed. That’s the situation our reader found herself in when she opened her birthday gift. Instead of feeling joyful, she found herself thinking about getting a divorce.