My Sister Wants Me to Share My Inheritance, but I Don’t Think She Deserves It
Few things ignite family drama like inheritance. When a parent’s will favors one child and leaves out another, what follows is rarely about money alone: it’s about trust, resentment, and old wounds reopening. What comes next is a clash of guilt and a secret that changes the whole argument.
When Inheritance Turns Into a Family Battlefield
When our mom died, she left me everything. My sister was cut out completely. She called me crying, begging me to split it because “family is family.”
At first, I was ready to give her half. Then, two weeks later, she slipped up in a fight and admitted something: she already got her share years ago. Mom gave her a huge sum privately when she bailed her out of debt. That money? She blew it in less than six months.
So basically, Mom didn’t “forget” my sister. She just didn’t trust her again. And now, my sister is trying to make me feel guilty, pretending she was left with nothing.
I feel like the villain if I don’t help her—but I can’t shake the thought: if I give her this too, won’t I just be repeating Mom’s mistake?
She got her money and admitted it. Don't make the same mistake.
You don't owe her a darn thing!!!!!! She didn't give you a dime so why should you share what your mom left you? She did it the way she wanted it and you don't owe her a penny. How much did she give you? That's how much you should give her. Keep your stuff PERIOD!!!!!
Trust your mother and honor her wishes as expressed in her Last Will and Testament! Obviously, she knew something you didn't or learned a lesson the hardway. That she didnt humiliate your sister by exposing her just speaks to her grace and dignity. If you feel guilty, that's a you problem. No one else is responsible for your feelings. Let's call it what it really is: manipulation. You are being manipulated by a spoiled and ungrateful child, just like your mother was ( no offense to your mother intended) and I say that as a parent and as a woman who has a sister just like yours. Only people with dirty feet need a doormat. Don't be your sister's doormat. It will never end.
Agree. - sister already got the share your mother bequeathed her prior to her death. Keep every cent your mom left to you. Find a good financial advisor if you don't already have one; perhaps set up a trust with solely you as the trustee. Your sister needs to learn how to be financially responsible or she'll never learn. Not your circus, not your monkeys.
OOH I'M USING THAT ONE. "Only people with dirty feet need a doormat"
I am so tired of people saying family is family. If family was family then she wouldn't have disrespected your mom's financial gift years ago. The expression family is family is what people will say to try to instill guilt.. truthfully if family were family she wouldn't put you in that position because family shouldn't crap all over other family on purpose in the first place like what she did to your mom when she was alive.
Yes you will
Your mom made the decision, follow your mom's wishes. You're mom sounds like she would have done the same to you if the role was reversed.
She got her inheritance already; give her nothing and don’t feel guilty!
Don't give her anything. She not only received her half from your mother already, if your mother wanted to leave her anything, she would have done so.
If you give in to her emotional blackmail now (or ever), she'll just be back for more.
Unless there is some other reason your mother didn't explain, giving anything to your sister disrespects your mother's last wishes.
She already got hers. Why would you give her half of yours? If your mother wanted her to have more she'd have left it. Continue saying no. When she says she's going to sue you tell her that's ok, you'll give her your lawyer's info and to not contact you again." Then block her.
This can't be real. The sister totally admits she received a large amount of money previously and you hear her say it. To top it off from what you know she did not even use the money as your mother intended when she decided to give it to her early(before her death)and it sounds like you have not confronted her about you knowing the truth of the whole situation. You can shut your sister's whining manipulations right now. Instead though you're letting it fester as if there is some weight to it. Come on now. Tell her to call a consumer debt consolidation service and grow the hell up
She already have what is hers. Just keep her silence and accept if she calls lawyer so you can call yours. An eye 👁️ for an eye 👁️, a teeth 🦷 for a teeth 🦷
Inheritance can spark exactly this kind of family conflict. But between sisters, especially now, without your mom, it’s worth remembering that money shouldn’t drive you further apart. Maybe keep these few tips we’ve gathered in mind the next time you face her.
- Be honest but firm: remind her that Mom did give her a share already, and it’s not your fault she burned through it.
- If you want to keep peace, offer something small (not half), like a symbolic gift or a gesture, but make it crystal clear there won’t be more.
- Suggest therapy or financial counseling if she’s really struggling, because throwing cash at the problem hasn’t worked.
- Set boundaries: “I’m not your bank. I’m your sister.”
You both got an inheritance. Neither you or her is obligated to give more or take anything. Enjoy your part of the inheritance, your sister did what she wanted with hers. Let it stand and move on, you aren't ment to increase her share, stop over thinking. If you had a nicer home you shouldn't give it to someone with an ugly home just because they ask. You didn't take anything from anyone. Guilt is for people who do things that hurt others. So, stop being guilible.
- Don’t argue when she’s emotional. Wait until she’s calm before talking about numbers or history.
- Avoid sweeping it under the rug. If you ignore her demands, she’ll just push harder.
- Protect the relationship, not her spending habits. Keep a door open for sisterhood, but lock the vault on finances.
- Letting her guilt-trip you into thinking you’re heartless. She made choices, and consequences are part of that.
- Going no-contact immediately out of anger—it might feel good short-term, but could nuke the relationship for good.
- Pretending nothing happened and hoping she’ll stop asking. Spoiler: she won’t.
She got her inheritance before your mom's death, you got yours after it, don't let her push you to give something you don't owe in the first place
- Prepare for pushback. Expect manipulation and have your responses ready.
- Offer non-monetary gestures. Time together, shared memories, or small thoughtful gifts can show you care without handing over cash.
- Decide your strategy. Whether it’s full no, partial token, or structured compromise, plan it before talking to her so you don’t get pressured.
Dealing with inheritance is never just about money, it can dredge up old grudges, hidden truths, and family secrets. For this man, what started as receiving their mom’s share of their grandpa’s inheritance turned into a shocking discovery that changed everything.
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