My Stepdad Gave Me Up When I Was a Teen — Now He’s Begging for My Help

One decision in our lives can shape our entire future. After Erin's mother passed away, her beloved stepfather, feeling unable to raise her alone, made the difficult choice to give her up to her paternal grandmother. However, Erin found herself unhappy in this new arrangement and resented him for his decision throughout her life. Now, years later, the stepfather is back and in need of her support. Erin is feeling lost and confused, and she reached out to us seeking advice.

This is Erin’s letter:

Erin, thank you for sharing your story with us. Here are some tailored suggestions we hope may offer you guidance.

Reflect on your needs and emotions.

Take some time to reflect on your own feelings and needs in this situation. Consider whether reconnecting with your stepfather aligns with your own emotional well-being and healing process.

It's important to acknowledge your feelings of hurt and betrayal, but also to explore whether there's a possibility for forgiveness and reconciliation that could bring you peace in the long run.

Seek professional guidance.

Consider seeking the support of a therapist or counselor who can help you navigate the complex emotions and decisions surrounding your relationship with your stepfather.

A neutral third party can provide valuable insight and support as you process your feelings, assess your options, and make decisions about whether or not to reconnect with him.

Communicate your boundaries.

If you decide to engage with your stepfather, it's crucial to communicate your boundaries clearly and assertively. Let him know how his actions affected you and what you need from him moving forward.

This may involve setting boundaries around topics like discussing the past, financial support, or the level of involvement you're comfortable with in his life. Open and honest communication can help establish a foundation for a healthier relationship, if that's what you choose.

Consider forgiveness as a healing process.

Forgiveness doesn’t necessarily mean forgetting or excusing past actions, but it can be a powerful tool for your own healing and growth. Consider whether forgiveness, even if it’s a gradual process, could bring you peace and closure.

Keep in mind that forgiveness is a personal journey, and it’s okay to take your time and prioritize your own emotional well-being throughout the process.

Lynn is another young woman facing a delicate situation with her stepfather. Lynn asked her loving stepdad not to attend her wedding in order to please her biological father. What happened next crushed her. Here is her story.