10 Hurtful Things Grown-Up Children Often Do to Their Parents
20% of seniors never retire but still, 75% of them have at least one chronic health condition — and many of them, 2 or more. It’s never too late to help elderly people, especially those close to us. Even a moment of attention can make our parents’ lives easier.
We at Bright Side want our parents to have well-deserved time with us and have their needs paid attention to. Here, you can find 10 things their kids may do that hurt them.
1. Neglecting a parent
They miss you, need you, and want to spend time with you. When you take a parent to an old-age home and hardly visit, they may feel lonely even if they’re surrounded by lots of people their age.
2. Saying things we shouldn’t
Here are some painful phrases we may say to our parents that are quite hurtful:
- Why did you have me?
- You never pay for me.
- You love my brother or sister more.
- I hate you.
Imagine yourself at an older age with an adult kid. Saying things like this can be considered traumatic, especially if it’s done as a way to manipulate.
3. Not asking about their health
Not every person is going to complain about constant pain or say that they feel sick. Just asking how they’re doing and saying that they can be honest will release this constant stress of feeling bad.
4. Not helping them financially
It’s not about making your parents feel like a kid, but sometimes you can send them money to have fun with or buy them a whole refrigerator’s worth of food. These small things will stay in their memory for a long time.
Taking tons of money from an old parent is referred to as elder financial abuse. Any abuse is harmful.
5. Ignoring your parents and family events
Yes, sometimes relationships with our parents can be difficult, but ignoring them isn’t always a solution, especially when it comes to family. Sometimes it’s better to yell or fight and not completely erase a parent from your life. Avoiding them is a temporary solution.
6. Never being thankful or grateful
It’s considered a sin when we overestimate ourselves but underestimate others, including parents. Try to provide them with words of kindness.
7. Hiding information about yourself
We’re our parents’ children — of course they’re worried about us! Saying things like, “Mom, it’s not your business,” can hardly make her feel calmer about what’s happening in your life. Share something with your parent without going into too much detail. Just finding the right words can solve the problem.
8. Getting irritated when we have to repeat things
Sometimes we have enough patience to repeat things to foreigners or colleagues but not to our parents. But remember, they’re often very old and their memories aren’t always that sharp!
9. Not preserving memories
Videos, photos, and other keepsakes can remind you both of good times from your childhood. If you used to play a certain board game, bring it out and play! Remind your parents that you do remember.
10. Treating them like they’re little children
They’re not kids and have more life experience than you. Even if they’re old, they’re still adults. Don’t use them for more than they’re needed for. Grant them their independence too.
Do you think that senior people don’t get enough attention? Do you like to spend time with your parents and grandparents?
Illustrated by Polina Chernevina for BrightSide.me