18 Parents Who Know How to Deal With People Questioning Their Upbringing Methods
Every family is different, and that is why the way a parent lives with their children and deals with them on a day-to-day basis can be as unique as their fingerprint. However, it seems that some believe that there is a standard mold under which all children should grow up. And they have no qualms about firing criticism at parents, pretending that they will gladly listen to what they have to say. But there are parents who, despite the awkwardness of such a situation, choose the right words to teach everyone a lesson.
- — “What? You put him to bed at 6:30 pm? That’s cruel! You don’t get to decide when a baby sleeps! Don’t look at me like that, I raised kids too, you know!”
— Ma’am, we’re up at 6 am, he can’t keep his eyes open beyond that. © faousa / Reddit
- My in-laws have said a lot of wacky things, but I think the most egregious one was my father-in-law saying, “Don’t put her in the car seat. Just make a little bed for her in the back, so she can sleep while you drive.” YES, SOUNDS LIKE AN EXCELLENT CHOICE AND VERY LEGAL. © razzmatazz2000 / Reddit
- Some random guy at a restaurant where my 1-year-old was running around: “That girl deserves a spanking!” Me, shocked but trying to be polite: “I don’t believe in hitting children, and can’t imagine why you think I should hit a baby.” Him, laughing: “Just wait, you’ll change your mind.” © themehboat / Reddit
- I sleep-trained my children. And (daughter) trained hers. Why haven’t you tried that? (From my mother-in-law). Baby doesn’t sleep because she has a medical condition that can cause pain... Baby doesn’t sleep because she needs more regular feeds than others her age because of said medical condition... YOU KNOW ALL OF THIS. I HAVE TOLD YOU THIS. © MyDogsAreRealCute / Reddit
- My mom does it ALL the time. She thinks she’s being helpful, but the other day I couldn’t stand it and told her to respect my choices, and that I know what I’m doing. I don’t care how X and Y did it with their kids. This is MY child, and I will do what is best for him. © LeluRussell / Reddit
- I had a cousin who was in his ’40s. No kids, no desire to have kids, never worked with children. Tried to give me parenting advice after he’d seen me for the first time in YEARS and had never met my baby before. I turned and walked away. © kellybean510 / Reddit
- When my in-laws suggest things that I, or the medical professionals, don’t agree with, I simply say, “Thanks for the suggestion, but we won’t do that,” and change the topic of conversation. I don’t tell them why they are not right or what we do.
I also occasionally say, “Isn’t it crazy how much has changed since your child was a baby? I am so grateful for modern advances in medicine/knowledge about child development or whatever.” Usually, my in-laws desist. © Revolutionary_Job726 / Reddit
- My mother-in-law told me that she doesn’t understand how it can be safer for babies to sleep on their backs because my husband would have died from aspirating his rice cereal and formula if she hadn’t put him on his stomach. She was petrified when I told her that we would not give our baby any cereal. “But how is he going to fall asleep, he’s going to starve!” Of course, she also wanted to argue with me when I told her we wouldn’t use the 33-year-old bassinet my husband used as a baby. © ThrowItAllAway003 / Reddit
- A relative asked if she could hold my son. It took me a second to answer her because it just didn’t process in my brain at that moment. So my mom assumed I froze up because I lost my ability to think for myself at some point in the last year. SHE told the relative yes.
I would have said yes anyway, but I was put in a position where 1: this relative thinks I am now allowing her to hold him due to social stressors, and 2: my mom has superseded me and my decisions as the parent of my child. Normally my mom is not like this, so I didn’t even say anything at first. Later I told her she needed to respect my boundaries when it comes to how I choose to parent my child and that I can speak for myself. © PolishNinja909 / Reddit
- I once had this conversation with my mom: “Ma, it’s cute that you think a 4-month-old baby has the brain capacity to be so manipulative when he’s barely realized that he’s a separate entity from his mother. It’s like you’re giving him TOO much credit. He’s crying because he needs me because he can’t use words to ask for things directly. It’s not a tantrum.” And she was like, “Yeah, that makes more sense.” Haha. © lsdpb / Reddit
- My favorite response to unsolicited advice from people my parents’ age is this, “Oh, yeah, they don’t recommend that anymore. That advice is extremely outdated.” I am very lucky that my mother has never tried to impose her opinions on me. She has gone so far as to suggest things in a nice way, and once I explain why we don’t choose to do it, she understands and never brings it up again. My mother-in-law and father-in-law don’t meddle in anything. © lsdpb / Reddit
- — You shouldn’t be driving after 7 months of pregnancy!
— Sure, do I just quit my job? © Grouchy-Doughnut-599 / Reddit
- The weirdest one for me happened when I was going to pick up my Mom’s watch for her from the repair shop. I had my son with me in a sling, he was about 6 weeks old at the time.
The person that helped me was this older Italian guy who told me that we needed to wrap my baby’s tummy tightly every day to make sure he didn’t end up with an outtie belly button. I just kinda blankly stared at him for about 30 seconds, then said, ’huh,’ never heard that one before. I still have absolutely no idea where that came from. © LahLahLand3691 / Reddit
- I usually just tell my mom, who is VERY insistent, that this is the way we do things, and if she really persists, I tell her, “Mom, we are with him every day, we know him better.” Usually, that shuts her up. © craybeluga / Reddit
Who do you usually receive unsolicited advice from? How would you respond to someone who is criticizing you about the way you lead your life?