24 Effective Conversation Starters That Will Get Your Kid to Open Up

Communicating with your kid can be a difficult task. It might be hard sometimes to get them to open up. Maybe they don’t know how to express everything that they’re thinking and feeling yet, or they aren’t sure what’s okay to tell you and what’s not. It’s your job as a parent to help them figure that out. And there are some questions you can ask to start a dialogue that won’t end in a one-word answer.

“How was school today?” isn’t the best choice.

When you ask this question for the first time, your kid might tell you a long story about their first day at school. They might tell you all the details and talk about their emotions because it’s something unusual for them. However, when school becomes a routine, this question won’t have the same effect anymore.

Apart from that, the way this question is phrased implies a short, even one-word answer, which is what you probably get from your child every day. If you really want to get to know your child better, try to ask them more engaging questions. That way, they’ll be able to reply using at least one sentence, and you can continue your conversation from there.

Also, try to be specific with the questions you ask. “How was school today?” is a pretty broad question, so it might be hard for your kid to summarize everything that happened during that day and give you an answer.

There are many alternatives you can use instead.

1. Tell me about a moment today when you felt excited about what you were learning.

2. Tell me about a moment in class when you felt confused.

3. Were there any times today when you felt disrespected by someone?

4. Were there any moments today when you felt proud of yourself?

5. Tell me about a conversation you had with a classmate or a friend that you enjoyed.

6. What was challenging about your day?

7. What do you appreciate about your day?

8. Is there anything that you’d like to talk about that I might be able to help you figure out?

9. Is there anything you’re worried about?

10. What are you looking forward to tomorrow?

11. What was the best thing that happened at school today? (What was the worst thing that happened at school today?)

12. Tell me something that made you laugh today.

13. If you could choose, who would you like to sit by in class? (Who would you NOT want to sit by in class? Why?)

14. Where is the coolest place at the school?

15. How did you help somebody today?

16. How did somebody help you today?

17. When were you bored today?

18. How do you feel about your schedule? Would you change the order of any of your classes?

19. How was today different than yesterday? Do you think tomorrow will be any different?

20. What did you think about the most at school today? Did you daydream about anything during breaks?

21. What was better — the part of your day before lunch or after? Why?

22. Who did you spend the most time with today?

23. If you could be the teacher tomorrow, what would you teach?

24. Did anything surprise you today?

It’s important to make your child feel understood.

• When they start to reply, don’t interrupt them.
• Once they’re finished, you can ask them to tell you about something in more detail. For example, if something worries them, but they don’t want to talk about it, make them feel safe and encourage them to share the whole story.
• Ask them about their feelings and tell them it’s okay to feel these emotions.
• Thank them for sharing their thoughts with you.

What questions do you ask your child when they come back from school? Do you use any tricks to get them talking?