9 Ways to Fire Back When People Say You Need to Have More Children
Having a child doesn’t save you from uncomfortable questions about if you’re going to have another one. While such questions may not be considered microaggressive, they have much in common. They label people, make them feel flawed, promote bias and are actually catty. So it’s okay to use common responses if you have to deal with extra inquisitive people.
Next time people try to convince you to have one more child, Bright Side advises you to respond with one of the variants from this list.
1. Give a straight, honest answer.
It’s always the best way to shut down askers. You are the only person who can decide how many children you want to have. And you definitely don’t have to give a detailed report to anyone, even if the person is your mom. It’s also good if you tell the person to never ask you this question again.
2. Make a joke about the subject.
Sometimes a person doesn’t stop after you give them a straight answer. In this case, you can use your sense of humor and fire back with an ingenious response.
3. Give an assuring answer.
Being alone doesn’t actually mean being lonely. You can be surrounded by dozens of people but still feel lonely. In one way or another, we’re all alone in this world and we’ll have to find calmness in solitude. Only children learn to do it from an early age.
4. Provide scientific information.
Sometimes, a person falls victim to prejudices and forgets the simple truth. It can be a good chance to educate them and kindly remind them that you don’t lock your kid at home and that they have plenty of friends to spend time with. The study shows that only children and those who have siblings have almost the same amount of social interactions. More than that, only children are often more eager to participate in non-relative communication.
5. Remind the person that you should live one day at a time.
Life is unpredictable and anything can happen. But the fear of losing a child is not a good motive for having another one. It’s better not to overthink things and just try to give the best to your kid.
6. Utter your feelings.
Such comments are infuriating but further accusations might lead to a more heated argument. In this case, it is better to let the person know that they hurt you with their words. Although, the point here is to imply your feelings, not refer to their actions (like by starting sentences with “I feel...” not “You make me feel...”). No one likes to be blamed for things and the person you’re speaking to may assume a defensive position.
7. Use a non-answer.
You don’t have to defend your way of life or try to make anyone else change their mind. In this case, a non-answer can help. After that, you can just change the topic.
8. Let them express their opinion.
Don’t argue a person out of their opinion — let them do it themselves. After all, no one knows when you die and a child might have grandparents, aunts, and uncles that can take care of him. And when they grow up, they’ll have friends who will help them cope with this loss.
9. Ask them a question back.
Sometimes, the best thing to do is to ask the person a question on the same topic instead of answering theirs. The biggest threat of such arguments is that they make you have second thoughts about your decisions. That’s why no matter what strategy you choose, it’s important to remind yourself why you don’t want more kids and seek validation in your values. It’s also good to seek help from those who share your opinion.
What’s your most witty answer to questions about having more than one kid?