“My Mom Is a Control Freak,” How Madonna’s Parenting Style Never Turned Her Daughter Lourdes Into a Spoiled Rich Kid

Lourdes Leon, Madonna’s eldest daughter, has dipped her toes into the music industry this year. She released her first single “Lock&Key” along with a music video, under her artistic moniker Lolahol. Her strict mom’s reaction was just touching. “I am so proud of you Lola!” Madonna wrote on her Instagram about her daughter following in her footsteps. We decided to take a deeper look at how Madge managed to bring up her rebellious daughter and turned her into a wonderful and talented individual.

Lourdes was never an object for showing off for her mom.

Lourdes “Lola” Leon is Madonna’s firstborn and she’s the only child from Madonna’s relationship with fitness trainer Carlos Leon. After she was born in 1996, she was thoroughly kept out of the spotlight and rarely appeared in photos with her mom.

Lourdes was considered a blessing (in disguise), as Madonna had her when she was 38 years old. She had just triumphed on screen in Evita and at the same time reached her dream of having a child, both in the same year. Biographers say that Madonna was worried that her pregnancy would harm her performance in Evita, but, despite all of her worries, Madge was still able to achieve her personal goals.

Lourdes entered the world of fame and is conquering it all by herself.

Now Lourdes Leon is more than just the offspring of the Queen of Pop. She’s finally owning every inch of her destiny by herself and is building a terrific modeling career for herself. She made her debut on the runway in 2018, walking in Gypsy Sport’s Spring 2019 show. Her second big runway appearance happened at Rihanna’s fashion show for New York Fashion Week.

Lourdes made headlines at the Met Gala in 2021, showing off her armpit hair. She’s never been shy to do so, just like her mom Madonna. She received a lot of criticism for this but always took all of it with a grain of salt, and this is the main lesson she learned from her famous mother.

She aspires to not only be a model, but she has an important message. In her interview, she says, “I want to create a world in which models have more agency over what they’re doing, and they’re not just silent clothing racks. That’s the age that we’re coming into in the fashion world: models as personalities and artists.”

Madonna has never showered her daughter with money, even though she could totally have done so.

Lourdes bought her own apartment without financial assistance from her mom and also paid for her university tuition on her own dime. In her interview, she revealed that there are no handouts in their family.

She said, “I think my mom saw all these other kids of famous people, and she was like, ‘My kids are not going to be like this.’”

Leon also shared some of the best advice from her mom: “It’s not about the money or your face or how hot you look. It’s about what you’re bringing into the world and what you’re going to leave behind.”

Family rules played an important role.

In her interview with Madonna’s best friend Debi Mazar, Lourdes mentioned that her life with a strict mom was full of restrictions. Mazar recalled how she once made Lourdes happy with something really simple, “I remember once when I babysat you, I brought you to my house and gave you some cookies and snuck you in front of a TV, because you weren’t allowed to watch TV when you were little.” And Lourdes caught up, “It was probably the happiest day of my life. The list of things I wasn’t allowed to do is never-ending.”

Even now, as a grown woman, Lourdes continues getting certain limitations from her mom. While being asked if she steals her mom’s clothes, she said, “I do, but now there’s a lock on her closets. When she’s not in the house, those things are locked tight, because I take everything I feel that I’m entitled to.”

She calls her mom a “Control freak,” but she’s extremely grateful to her for it.

In one of her interviews, Lourdes commented on her relationship with her mom, saying, “I feel like if your parents pay for things, then it gives them leverage over you. My mom is such a control freak, and she has controlled me my whole life. I needed to be completely independent from her as soon as I graduated high school.”

But as she’s now all grown-up, Leon has come to admire her mom completely, especially “how empowering to other women and ahead of her time she has always been,” she said in her interview.

“I didn’t fully comprehend that until I realized the importance of empowerment and what it means to be a woman,” she explained. “She’s probably the hardest worker I’ve ever seen. I didn’t inherit that, unfortunately. I inherited her control issues, but not her work ethic!”

Do you believe a restrictive approach makes children more independent? Do you spoil your kids?