Why Some Kids Behave Worse When Their Parents Are Around
“Your kid is such an angel, what’s your secret?” your friend says while patting your kid on the back. No sooner do you wipe a tear of pride, than your kid is already trashing your house. So you are racking your brains as to why your sweet kid acts up when you’re around them.
Bright Side wants to take a load off your mind and break down the possible reasons for your child’s misbehavior.
They copy your behavior.
Parents often blame their children for bad behavior but they often neglect their own bad habits. Just remember how nice you are when it comes to strangers because you don’t want a fight on your hands. As soon as you come home, you take out all your anger on your nearest and dearest. Children copy your behavior no matter whether it’s good or bad. Most of us put the blame on our children because otherwise it would reveal our own flaws that we need to correct and we don’t want to face the truth.
They lack your parental love.
Your kid is probably trying to get through to you but you are ignoring them. Just picture this: a young mother was sitting with her child in a family restaurant. The mom was glued to her phone while waiting for the food and the boy was trying to talk to her.
First, he showed her his toy car, “Mom, look, it even has pedals!” “Uh-huh, great,” replied the bored mother and went on surfing the web. Then the boy slowly started pushing a glass of juice to the edge of the table. When it finally dropped, the mother told him off but the boy didn’t feel sorry for that because he had finally managed to get her attention.
They feel safe and secure.
Your child acts differently around you because they don’t have to pretend to be someone they are not. They feel safe enough to take off all their social masks and just be themselves. Your kid trusts you and can show you their weaknesses and pain. You are the one who will kiss them and hug them even if they are shouting.
Bad behavior is just a way of mentally cleansing themselves from all their accumulated stress. Kids have to behave when they are in public and when they finally feel safe with their parents, they let go of everything that is bothering them.
They perceive you as their emotional container.
We are all emotional containers for each other. We often help others cope with their negative feelings by empathizing or saying just a few cheerful words. However, we all have different-sized containers. We can find more space for the emotions of some people while others can only occupy an insignificant part of us.
That’s why, most of the time, the people who babysit your kid can’t absorb all these emotions. They simply don’t have the same strong connection as you do with your child. Which explains why strangers usually suppress your child’s feelings or just ignore them. As a result, when your kid is around you, you will have to assume responsibility for all of their emotions that others couldn’t.
They see you as a softy.
A lot of parents make inconsistent decisions that often contradict each other. For example, you limit your child’s freedom, but ask them to be independent. You threaten not to take your kid with you on vacation, but later relent and take your words back. Parenting without boundaries restricts your child’s development, not to mention that it’s also confusing.
If you allow your kid to behave badly they will certainly take advantage of that. Most of the time, reasoning with a child during a tantrum is just pointless. Stand your ground and don’t give in to your moody little bean.
Do your kids misbehave? What do you do when they throw a tantrum?