20+ Stories Proving That Cashiers Are Made of Endless Patience

“Do you need a bag?” “Do you collect coupons?” “Cash or credit?” Many of us answer these questions almost automatically because we hear them every day. It seems that nothing extraordinary can happen at the supermarket. However, sometimes while paying for our groceries, we find ourselves in the epicenter of funny situations.

At Bright Side, we believe that you can become a part of a real tragicomedy while at the supermarket. Just standing at the checkout, you can find potential stand-up comics, oracles, and even pickup artists. And according to the bonus feature, the latter can be found far beyond the confines of a market.

• Guys, I was stopped at the checkout area because the anti-theft frame went off on me. Do you know why? A boy weighed his hand on the self-service scales and attached the bar code sticker to my hoodie. I was stopped for the theft of tomatoes! © MyHopeIsRock / Twitter

• I had a lady come to my register, wait in line behind at least 5 other customers on a busy holiday weekend, and pay for 4 grapes. On a paper towel... © samegirl / Reddit

• I just had a weird conversation at the register:

— “Can I change the sauce in my sandwich from tartar to teriyaki?”
— “No.”
— “Can you remove the sauce?”
— “Yes.”
— “Can you add an extra sauce?”
— “Yes.”
— “Then can you please remove tartar sauce and add teriyaki?”
Very long pause.
— “No, I can’t.” © iiilliliiillil / Twitter

• A guy came up to me and asked, “What’s the difference between cranberry juice and organic cranberry juice?” I was 15 and I knew nothing, so after a pause, I replied, “Like, 8 dollars.” The guy was laughing so hard he didn’t even care what the real answer was after that. © damnmanthatsmyjam / Reddit

• I’m standing in a long line. A father and his son who’s around 4 years old are standing in front of me. They have food for men in their basket: burgers and chocolate. The female cashier is checking out their items.
  Cashier:
  — “These burgers are very expensive. Do you know that?”
  Father *condescendingly*:
  — “So, what?”
  Cashier:
  — “I just wanted to let you know. Some people don’t notice that they are expensive. Then they want to return them but it takes time, and we have a long line here.”
  Father:
  — “No, we’re fine! We have enough money. Check it out.”
  He takes out $50.
  Cashier:
  — “$65, please.”
  A short pause. The man starts smiling probably realizing how silly the situation is, and then says:
  — “Can I return them?” © emin177 / Pikabu

• A guy at the checkout just said that he wouldn’t ask for my ID if I left him my phone number and went on a date with him. I decided to show him my ID. He said, “Sorry, ma’am.” MA’AM?! I should’ve chosen the date! © NKsenia86 / Twitter

• It’s slightly humiliating when you have your food all checked out and the cashier looks at you, as if they’re measuring you up, and says, loudly, “The ketchup is $10. Should I still put it through?” © GoodPenguin / Pikabu

• A young man in front of me asks the cashier:
  — “Kinder Surprise, please.”
  — “For a boy or for a girl?”
  — “What’s the difference?”
  — “For boys, there can be animals, or dinosaurs, or sometimes spinners or puzzles.”
  — “And for girls?”
  — “Princesses.”
  He took one for a boy, moved away from the register, and gave the egg to his daughter. © fokodan / Pikabu

• I’m at a supermarket. The girl at the register checks out my items. Very few people are around. I look at my receipt and see that she forgot to ring up my chocolate bar. I start feeling guilty. I come up to her and tell her about it, quietly. She winks at me and says, “I know.” © HeIIoSidney96 / Twitter

“The cashier I met today at the supermarket!”

• One time, I was ringing up a customer and a thing didn’t scan. The old man was like, “That means it’s free, right?” © Jay985 / Reddit

• I paid for my groceries in cash. The amount was $50.16. I didn’t have a change, only a $50. The cashier refused to forget about the 16 cents. Well, you can imagine the feelings of a person who had to get change for $50 because of 16 cents. After that, she gives me the change, which was $49 dollars. I demanded the exact amount. A few cashiers tried to find me the change for 5 minutes. They even offered me the amount which was 6 cents more but I refused. © Ragnar919 / Pikabu

• Cashier:
  — “Do you need a receipt?”

Me:

— “Yes, please.”
At the same time, I was thinking: “If a murder takes place somewhere nearby, I’ll be able to prove that I was at the supermarket buying onions.” © kotalkin / Twitter

• I’m 27 and a father of a 12-month-old child. At the grocery checkout area, they have stuffed animals on sale. Without a second thought, I said, “I’m too young for them.” The cashier replied, “I guess, you’re too old...” © “Overheard” / Ideer

• I’m standing in line at the supermarket. The woman before me puts 2 tubes in front of the cashier and asks:

— “Which one is better?”
Cashier *surprised*:
— “I don’t know...”
Woman:
— “What do you mean you don’t know? You must know what you sell. Which tube is better, this one or this one?”
Cashier:
— “How would I know?”
Woman:
— “Where did they get you from? You must know! And you must consult me.”
Cashier:
— “Ma’am, the first tube is toothpaste, the other one is hand cream! How can I know which is better?”
Woman:
— “Sorry! I took the wrong product.” © MiraMia / Pikabu

• At McDonald’s, they have 2 happy meal sets: Transformers and My Little Pony. The guy at the register asked, “For a boy or a girl?” I went crimson with rage. I needed a happy meal for a 32-year-old bearded man who wants FLUTTERSHY. © zloygik / Twitter

• I went to go DIY shopping today. I found what I needed and was standing in line. I was next. Suddenly, an old lady came up to me with a pack of cucumber seeds and asked me to let her go first. I refused because I had only 2 items. My items were checked out and I began to pay. Suddenly, the old lady took maybe 100 more packs of seeds out of her bag. Who would’ve thought? © RobinGuk / Pikabu

“Why didn’t you ask if I was using cash or credit?” my friend asked at the checkout.

“I just know,” replied the cashier.

“Maybe you can see the future too?”

“Of course, I can.”

“What’s there?” wondered my friend.

“I’ll go home at 8,” said the cashier, happily. © purpolly / Twitter

Bonus: Cashiers at supermarkets aren’t the only quick-witted employees out there.

• A good-looking barista at a cafe liked my friend. He asked, “Want something tasty?” She thought about a muffin and said yes. Suddenly he took out a plastic container from under the register that had meat and potatoes inside. Man, we aren’t even worthy of your shadow. © ihavegot2b / Twitter

Have you ever encountered something funny at the supermarket checkout? Tell us in the comments below.