10 Married People Who Had Affairs Reveal What Happened Next

We’ve all heard the phrase “falling out of love”, but what happens when a person falls in love with someone else while still married? It sounds like something straight out of a soap opera, until you realize it’s more common than we’d like to admit. In this piece, 10 people share the messy, complicated, and sometimes heartbreaking reality of finding love outside their marriage.

1. “It sticks with you”: The lasting impact of cheating and deciding your marriage’s fate.

“I destroyed my marriage and carried overwhelming shame and guilt for years.

<strong>Do yourself a favor and make a decision: stay in the marriage or leave.

Because all that sneaking around, lying, and cheating will latch onto you. Then, when you find yourself acting unlike your normal self, jealous and paranoid, it will be the guilt and shame of what you’re doing manifesting itself for a long time to come.” © Unknown user / Reddit

2. A love story after “not terrible” marriages: Finding real happiness after infidelity.

“My parents were both married when they met each other. They fell in love fairly quickly, and while neither of their marriages were terrible, they just weren’t working out. My dad’s marriage ended fairly aggressively, but my mum’s ended with a simple, ’I’m really sorry, but I don’t think we’re right for one another.’ He understood, and they’re still friends.

They are now happier than they’ve ever been. My dad said this year has been the best year so far of their marriage, and that, ’I knew it was her, properly this time, because it felt the way it was always meant to feel, and it was about her as much as my own validation.’

I love their story, even if it’s cringeworthy in how soppy it is, it always makes me smile.” © Unknown user / Reddit

3. That gut feeling: How I avoided an affair at work and saved my marriage.

“Married 12 years. A stunning young woman joined my team. Every time she walked in, I felt it in my gut. I hated myself for it! So I requested a transfer. Once, she called me at night, ’There’s an emergency. Can you come to the office? I think the servers are down,’ she said.

I should’ve said no. I should’ve trusted my gut and stayed home, but I went. I walked into that office like an idiot, thinking I could just fix a technical issue and go back to my life. When I got there, I checked the data. Everything was fine. There was no emergency. But that’s when things took a turn.

My ’coworker’ started making explicit hints. I panicked. I felt trapped, like everything I’d worked for, everything I held, was slipping away in an instant. So I ran. I didn’t say a word. I just left the office as fast as I could.

The next morning, I asked for a transfer. I wanted out, away from that temptation, away from the pull of something that could destroy everything I had. I moved to an office in another city, far from her, far from the temptation.

That was five years ago. And here I am, still with my wife. I’ve never cheated on her. And every day, I’m grateful to myself that I didn’t let a fleeting moment, driven by hormones, ruin what I had built over a lifetime.”

4. More than just physical: The deep hurt of emotional infidelity and years of regret.

“I was in the same situation, and I wish I had made the same choice. But I didn’t. The girl I fell in love with while I was married eventually moved on without explanation, and I ended up divorced. Sure, I moved on, and my life took a new direction—one that I never would have had if I hadn’t ’fallen’ for the other girl and become so infatuated with her.

Since we worked together, we spent most of our days together and even spent time together on work trips (which were very frequent). We talked about our feelings, and she often cried on my shoulder. If I could do it all over again, if I saw the other girl’s eyes and felt her near-affection, I would do anything possible to avoid her, no matter how much it hurt.

I was never physically unfaithful to my then-wife, but I was emotionally unfaithful, which, in retrospect, was just as cruel. They say it’s better to regret something you did than something you could have done, but the regret I carry for falling for that girl and leaving my wife over 35 years ago has never left me.” © Lost-Emotions / Reddit

5. Left behind: Finding strength when a partner leaves for someone else during labor.

“My ex abandoned me mid-labor because it was ’taking too long’. He vanished. Then texted: ’I met someone. She makes me feel something you never did.’ A year later, I saw him on the street and almost fainted. He looked awful, gaunt, dirty. I quickly pretended I didn’t see him and rushed to my car.

Later, through some mutual friends, I learned that the girl he left me for wasn’t good for him. She lived a reckless life, and it clearly took a toll on him. He lost his job, and things just went downhill.

Honestly, I’m relieved we’re not together anymore. I wouldn’t want my daughter to see that as an example of what a relationship should be.”

6. The unspoken connection at work: Loving my wife while feeling drawn to someone else.

“I love my wife, and we have a good marriage. I love my family, they’re the light of my life. I have no desire to divorce or break up my family.

I met the other woman at work. She’s pretty and friendly. I always found her attractive, but I figured it was just skin-deep. As we worked together more, we clicked. We got along well, and I always enjoyed talking with her.

I found myself feeling sad when she wasn’t at work. I let it go, thinking it was just a schoolboy crush; it would pass. Even if I had wanted to act on it, I doubted she felt anything but platonic feelings.

I got a new job. I’m sad to leave, not just because of her, but for my other co-workers as well. I liked my job, but the new one is a better fit for my family.

Today was my last day. As I bade her farewell, she told me how sad she was to see me go. Our eyes met, she placed her hand on mine, and we shared a long, meaningful look, a look of longing and pain. She feels it too. I said ’goodbye’ and left.

Now I’m sitting in my car, in front of my house, awash with emotions. I can’t talk to my wife about it; I love her so much, and I know it would hurt her. It just hurts so much.” © Lovethrowaway98373 / Reddit

7. “I wanted a fresh start”: Facing confession and the mess of emotional and physical betrayal.

“My fiancé and partner of 7 years cheated on me with a colleague in a three-month affair, both emotionally and physically. As he was coming clean, he didn’t initially tell me the entire truth because he said he was afraid that would be the straw that broke the camel’s back. He thought he was falling in love with her but decided to come clean.

He said he was unhappy in our relationship and unhappy with his life, that life feels empty (he struggles to do the things he loves and feels like a failure). He said he wanted a fresh start and that he actively pursued the affair. They were physically together during two work conferences.

I knew something had changed over the last few months and expressed it. We even made a plan to communicate in a more fulfilling way while he was on his work trip, but during the trip, he became even more physically involved with this married woman (who, according to him, wants out of her marriage).

During this trip, he would check in with me, ask how communication was going, all while spending every night with her. He returned from his trip and still, for two weeks, texted and called with this woman. He says he wants to stay together and go to individual and couples counseling.” © farrah1204 / Reddit

8. From shattered heart to second chance? Rebuilding after my affair years later.

"I destroyed my marriage five years ago.

Five years ago, I had an affair and shattered my ex-husband’s heart. I was selfish and lost, and at the time, I didn’t fully understand the depth of the pain I caused. He left right after I told him the truth, packed a bag, and filed for divorce a few days later. He blocked me on everything and told me never to contact him again.

I don’t blame him. I admire him for putting himself first when I hadn’t. That moment became the wake-up call of my life. I began therapy and took a long, honest look at myself. I’ve been single and celibate since—not as punishment, but because I needed to grow before being part of anyone’s life again.

I went to university, earned a degree, and worked on myself. But even with progress, I always carried a quiet ache. He was the kindest and sweetest man. Every year, on the anniversary of what happened, I felt it all.

Seven months ago, I ran into him by complete chance. I had imagined that moment for years. When it finally happened, everything rushed in—love, shame, regret. I thought he’d walk right past me. Instead, he hugged me. I apologized on the spot. I didn’t expect anything from him. I just needed him to know that it’s something I’ve carried every day since.

He asked if I still had the same number. I did. He texted later that day and asked if I’d meet him for coffee. We talked for hours. He asked about the affair, and I answered everything honestly. He told me he’d forgiven me, but that the way he views relationships and women has changed.

That hurt to hear, but I understood him completely. I also learned he has a three-year-old from a past situationship. I asked if we could try again. He said he was open to seeing how things go. These last few months, we’ve been reconnecting. We talk, laugh, share space, and face the hard truths. We’ve been alternating weekends at each other’s places, slowly building something again.

He’s asked me to move in. I want to—more than anything. But I’m also scared. Not of loving him, but that maybe we’re moving too fast. I just want to do it right this time." © Right-Shape-9944 / Reddit

9. 20 years later: The lingering misery of my wife’s past cheating and broken trust.

"20 years ago, when my wife and I were engaged and both in our 20s, she spent 6 months cheating on me, taking a demented pleasure in lying. She would deliberately start arguments over trivial things, storm off for hours, then return looking very pleased with herself and refuse to tell me where she had been.

I was young and naive enough to believe her when she said she wasn’t cheating. Months after it ended, she finally came clean. I had a complete breakdown and told her we were done. But because I was an idiot, I decided to try again, determined to make it work.

We eventually got married, and now here I am—giving you a glimpse of your possible future, 20 years after an affair. She’s been otherwise excellent, and I genuinely believe she hasn’t cheated again. She has worked very hard on herself and is, for the most part, a fantastic partner. I ignored the pain at first, but my mind constantly flashes back to what happened back then.

Whenever I asked her for answers, she would deflect because she was so ashamed. She’d say, ’Why keep bringing up the past when I only want us to move forward?’ But her lack of clarity, coupled with a few lingering issues, just wouldn’t go away.

Every time I come home, I’m afraid I’ll find her with someone else, because I never got a real reason for why she cheated in the first place. I think she was just curious and liked the thrill, and I was boring in comparison.

Every single thing she resents in our relationship—my inability to do the things I once did, not being the fun-loving person I used to be—is a direct result of her actions back then. If I bring that up, she thinks I’m ’blaming her for everything,’ but it’s just a simple fact.

The point of this is to say: if you’re hoping to reconcile and eventually get over what your partner did, don’t be too hard on yourself—and don’t expect too much. Because it may never fully happen. Sometimes, there is no winning strategy. Sometimes, all you can do is lose the best way you can." © BeckNeared / Reddit

10. I found the proof: The long, hard road of reconciliation after an emotional affair.

“I feel like cheaters almost NEVER confess. I found out because I had a feeling, looked through his phone for the first time in our five-year relationship, and saw the evidence.

It was an emotional affair, not physical, so now we are on the path to reconciliation, which is long and hard. It has required a lot of tears, strength, and also therapy.

Some days, I wonder if I made the right choice, but ultimately I think I did, as we are better than we’ve ever been now. Hopefully, it stays this way.” © desertmatcha / Reddit

We had a perfect marriage for 12 years until I decided to do some spring cleaning and revealed my husband’s secret life. I started sorting through dusty boxes in the garage that had been there for years. While going through them, I opened one without thinking.
Inside was a heart-shaped candy box. But what truly froze me was what I found inside. My heart sank when I saw a note: ’Thanks for sharing your husband with me... Click here to read the full story!