10 People Share Parenting Mistakes That Shaped Their Adulthood

Parenting is one of the toughest jobs out there—no manual, no guarantees, just a lot of trial, error, and love. Most parents genuinely try their best, but even the smallest missteps can leave a lasting impact. Those early experiences often shape how we see ourselves and the world around us.

• I won a scholarship for singing while I was in primary school, private lessons twice a week. One day, my Dad stopped taking me, saying he couldn't afford them anymore. At the time I didn't know the lessons were already paid for from the scholarship, my father thought it was lame, and the lessons were useless. © Didgarid***o / Reddit

• My girlfriend is 23 and despite being entirely independent of her family, her mom treats her like a child still. As in too-immature to make her own decisions, inferior to her/not equal (she was recently told to “learn her place”), invalid in feelings, emotions, etc... This invalidates her self-worth, her opinions, her views and stances, etc... It’s wildly damaging. © BeingMrSmite / Reddit

• I remember my parents didn’t come to most of my chorus concerts. It really sucked to see my classmates’ families cheer them on while my parents were absent. I brought home one of my chorus program papers to show my parents, and I found it in the trash the next day... I was sad because I wanted to keep it but seeing it in the trash, I didn’t want it anymore. © mousely / Reddit

• When I was four my parents adopted a kitten. Of course, I had never seen anything quite so delightful before, and I could barely keep my hands off the little fur ball.
  So about two or three days passed, I get up in the morning and walk out and ask “where is the kitten?” And my parents told me that he died — implying that my roughhousing had killed it. I was terrified to touch an animal for several years thereafter. In fact, they had simply given the kitten back to the people they got it from. © thomoz / Reddit

• My parents pushed me to be academic — so doted on me hand and foot as a kid to make more room for study. When you’re too young and stupid to know any better, you think it’s a blessing. When I moved out to uni I didn’t really know how to clean, when to clean, what to clean with, how to wash clothes, how to get them dry etc. The only thing I could do is cook. © Unknown Author / Reddit

• My parents were helicopter parents. I was not allowed to lock my bedroom door. My mom listened in on my phone calls and went through my personal belongings when I wasn’t home. I wasn’t allowed to talk to boys or date (I’m female). Doing this only prevents your children from learning how to form healthy relationships. © gouwbadgers / Reddit

• My dad used to yell at me for crying, which only made me cry more, which made him yell more, and you get the point. In high school, I tried to bring up the possibility of me having anxiety problems that I'd spoken to the school counselor about. He told me I was just a drama queen. I can't express that I'm anxious or stressed around my dad because “others have it worse.” © potatobug25 / Reddit

• There was one time I was trying to help a friend at their birthday by taking their presents to them, but all the adults and my parents thought I was being selfish and wanted them for myself and joked and laughed at me and just ignored me explaining myself and carried on. I think that hurt my self-esteem a lot in the long run. © Sarkaul / Reddit

• My mom told me I was too stupid to graduate high school. Never bothered to show up to the ceremony because she didn't want to see my dad's side of the family. She tried making my graduation about her, and I hate her for that. Probably always will. © NOTHING543412 / Reddit

• I'm 17, and I'm just now getting actual friends outside of school. I was never allowed to go do anything as a kid. I know it's my parents caring about me, but it's hurt me more in the long run. It's caused some serious social anxiety. © Ink223 / Reddit

Every parent makes mistakes—what matters most is how we learn from them, whether we're the ones raising kids or the ones who were once shaped by flawed but well-meaning hands.