12 Parenthood Pitfalls We Didn’t Know Existed

Before we become parents, we often think about what our lives will be like when we have children. We watch the people around us and compare ourselves to them. When we see a mother yelling at her kids, we promise ourselves that we will never be like her. And then we see a dad with a daughter playing in the sandbox, and hope to be this kind of parent. But sometimes, things don’t go exactly as planned.

In today’s article, Bright Side compares life with kids to our expectations. Even though we can’t always be perfect parents, communication with children can still be very enjoyable.

We plan to feed our kids with healthy and varied foods.

We read tons of books and learn new recipes that we plan to try in the kitchen when children start eating regular food. We think we’ll have enough energy to cook 3 different meals a day. But in reality, children grow, and we realize that making a bowl of soup once every 3 days is not such a bad idea.

We promise ourselves we will accept our kids for what they are.

But some of the experimenting that our sons and daughters do may be really shocking. Colorful hair is one thing, but what if your kid wants to drop out of college and become an artist? Or what if your son is interested in an extreme hobby, like mountain biking? We all have our limits, and sooner or later, when we hear something our teenager says, we go, “Don’t even think about it!”

Sometimes, we think we can raise our kids on our own, without daycare, babysitters, or grandmothers.

There’s nothing wrong with sending your kid to daycare or asking your relatives for help. Being in an apartment with a baby 24/7 is a huge challenge for anyone. Moms don’t have to do everything on their own. Moms can and should get help from others.

We’re not going to make mistakes, like picking up our kids last from school.

But in reality, it’s different: we run from work, complain about traffic jams, and worry that our child is upset. And we end up being the last one there, even though we tried hard! But does this make us bad parents?

We think we won’t become those people that only talk about their kids.

Those friends that recently had kids mostly talk about them, and it’s normal because, during the first years, it’s all parents do. But of course, we hope that we won’t bore our friends with all the photos and stories. However, we can’t always stop ourselves from sharing a funny photo where our kid falls asleep with the cat.

We plan that we will sleep in our beds, and our kids will sleep in theirs.

During the day, we think that if a child has a bad dream, we can comfort them with a glass of warm milk and take them back to their room. But in the middle of the night, we can barely muster one sentence, so we just say something and let our kids sleep with us.

We promise ourselves that we won’t fall for our kids’ whims, but we’re not always that strong.

Kids know how to manipulate us: some cry, some make sad eyes. And the result is the same: we buy that new toy or that chocolate bar, or we let them spend an extra hour in front of the computer.

We think that we will definitely teach our kids to enjoy good music, art, and clothes.

When we are planning to become parents, we’re sure our kids will listen to good music, watch good movies, and wear good clothes. But teenagers often wear, listen to, and watch things we can’t understand. Don’t expect teenagers to understand how great Pink Floyd is. Different tastes for different generations are perfectly normal.

We really believe that both during pregnancy and after, we will take good care of ourselves.

We see photos of stylish pregnant women and mothers with kids and think, “I’ll look just as nice!” We promise ourselves: no dirty hair and loungewear, only good makeup, everyday massages, and oil for our stretch marks. But when we’re not feeling well or when we’re tired, priorities change — we just want to wear a loose T-shirt, because it’s comfortable, and slippers to fit our swollen feet.

We think we’ll always understand our kids.

How many times have we promised ourselves that we won’t be like other parents that tell kids off in front of everyone? But there’s a limit, sometimes, we’re too tired to take it. All parents lose it sometimes, and if you do, don’t judge yourself. Apologize to your child and explain why you yelled.

We believe we can make children independent.

At first, we think we have enough patience to teach kids to do their homework themselves, to do their own dishes, and to clean their rooms. But after the 50th time we ask them to wash their plate, we give up and do it ourselves, just because it’s simpler that way.

We say we won’t buy everything there is in the store for kids, because they grow very fast anyway.

Yes, children grow extremely fast, and from the experience of our friends, we know that you quickly have to figure out what to do with the piles of clothes that don’t fit anymore. Clothes take up a lot of space, and we have to be more conscious consumers. But when we go into the store and see all the cute little pants and skirts, we can’t fight the temptation.

Do you have children? What promises that you gave to yourself did you actually break when you became a parent?