14 Neighbors Who Have Neither Shame Nor Common Sense

Sometimes life with neighbors turns into one continuous joke. But it would be boring without them. Surely, many people have a couple of hilarious stories about interacting with those who live next door.

• Every evening, someone’s yelling at my neighbor’s place. There’s banging, like they’re throwing furniture out the window. One night it got so loud the plaster started falling off. I called the police.
  They arrived, then stopped by my place smiling and said, “The thing is... he’s got ostriches.”
  Turns out, my neighbor’s raising ostriches in his apartment! © Ne vse poimut / VK
• One day, my husband was taking a bath on the second floor of our house. He locked the door from the inside, but the lock jammed. He had to climb out the window. It wasn’t too hard since the window opened onto the roof of the veranda.
  That evening, our neighbor came up to my husband with a mysterious look and said he’d seen some man in just his underwear escaping through our window. A responsible snitch! © Mamdarinka / VK

“My upstairs neighbor dropped a quart of milk, and it’s dripping into my apartment.”

• My neighbor was a strange guy. Sometimes he’d politely say hello, other times he’d leave trash behind and respond rudely when I complained.
  One day, as I was walking down the stairs, he suddenly turned away from me. But then I walked outside and saw him — or so I thought — standing on the balcony, cheerfully waving at me. It wasn’t until a year after I moved in that I found out there were twins living in the apartment next door. © Not everyone will understand / VK
• Watching Titanic with my girlfriend. We see that exact moment on the screen. The girlfriend closes her eyes and shouts, “No, no, I won’t cry, I’m strong!” And from somewhere comes a muffled male voice, “Even I cried at that moment!”
  It was our neighbor — a former police major. I love my house with its thin walls. © House #6 / VK
• We live in a private house. We planted lawn all over the yard — lush green grass, no digging, just beautiful grass! In spring, the neighbors arrived. They planted a whole fleet of cucumbers, tomatoes, and potatoes.
  The neighbor came over one day, I thought to introduce himself. But instead, he said this, “Will you sell me a piece of your land? Yours just sits useless, and I’ve got so much more things to plant.” I politely declined and said, “My grass, my business.”
  Ever since then, whenever they have guests, he always says loudly, “Our neighbor’s a rich snob, won’t share his land...” And I’m just lying in a sunbed with tea, thinking, “Man, it feels good to be a snob.” © Not everyone will understand / VK

• The neighbor one floor down is a total heartthrob and an athlete. I decided to keep up: bought a jump rope, turned on a workout program... And then a knock on my door.
  I open it, and there he is. He looks at me and says, “I don’t know what you’re doing up here, but my plaster is falling off. Go jump outside!” And then he just walked away. © Caramel / VK
• Our neighbor always had a 20-year-old car sitting at the curb, which he would fix from time to time. He never drove it, and it looked mint, but he liked to fix it. Turns out (he confided in us) that he only used the car as an excuse to get away from his wife when they were arguing. © SyntheticOne / Reddit
• I was hanging laundry on the balcony when the neighbors walked by. As I bent over the laundry basket, I heard the husband say, “Look at those pink rhinestone thongs, maybe I should get you a pair like that?” And his wife, without missing a beat, snapped back, “Stop staring at someone else’s underwear!”
  I mean, the compliment was nice and all... but now it’s a bit awkward. Feels like we know each other way more intimately than we should. © Ne vse poimut / VK

• My upstairs neighbors moo at each other. Very loudly. I used to live in the country, and it sounds exactly like a cow, and me and my roommate have no idea why they do it.
  Nobody believes us until they come over and hear it for themselves. We “moo” back at them sometimes now if they get too loud, and they usually stop for a while. They’re just weird people, though. © manofruber / Reddit
• Recently, our friends moved into a private house with their beloved cat, Sam. In the mornings, they would go out on the porch and call the cat for a hearty breakfast. The neighbor would come out of his house at the same time, and they would say hello, exchanging a few words.
  A couple of months later, the neighbor asked, “Dan, why do you call me every morning? I have a wife, she feeds me well. I don’t need breakfast from you too, I can’t eat that much!” © Ward No. 6 / VK

• I was walking the dog one early morning. I met my upstairs neighbor on his way to work. I could tell from his face that he was in a bad mood, because I had heard him arguing with his wife that morning.
  He said hello, asked if he could pet my dog, and then said, “What a great dog you have! When I divorce my wife, I’m going to get one just like yours!” We laughed, and he left. 3 months later, I met him in the yard with a dog of the same breed as mine. © Caramel / VK
• For a month and a half, I thought I was slowly going crazy. I’d go out to study or just go for a walk and come back to the perfectly clean flat. I didn’t complain to the police or neighbors. But yesterday I came home early and stumbled upon my neighbor.
  It turned out that she and my grandmother, who used to live in this flat, had a door between the flats, which was simply closed with a cupboard without a back wall. And before she passed away, my grandmother asked her friend to keep an eye on me. © Chamber 6 / VK
• There’s a transparent mesh between my and the neighbors’ houses, and the neighbor likes to peek. Her husband is silent but with an interested face. I offered to put up a fence, but they refused! I put on my swimsuit and went to weed. The neighbor came in, looking like a beaten dog, and said, “A fence is the right thing to do.”
  As it turned out, her husband stopped leaving the yard since I bought this house. He reads the newspaper strictly facing my side. Sometimes he just stands there with a watering can and watches.
  I never put up a fence. I decided I’d use the budget for bushes. And I ordered a couple more swimsuits. Everything at my garden is growing like crazy now, especially my self-esteem. © Overheard / VK

And here are more stories about neighbors who are really hard to put up with.