15 Difficulties That Daughters of Unloving Mothers Can Have When They Grow Up

4 years ago

Just having a mother figure is not enough. For daughters, especially those who look up to their mothers for inspiration, having mothers who despise them could scar them for life. Their view of this relationship could be twisted and this will shape them as women.

We at Bright Side feel that it is important to know the kinds of troubles daughters of terrible mothers might face later in life.

1. They could lack the ability to trust.

Unloving mothers would have scolded their daughters for reacting in certain ways, making these girls unable to trust others with their emotions. Feeling betrayed by the one person that they should be able to rely on, these girls would be more less trusting of other people.

2. They could lack self-confidence.

Growing up with mothers who constantly criticized them and ignored them, these daughters are likely to believe their mothers’ condescending words. They might think that their accomplishments and talents are nothing to be proud of. They would believe that they don’t matter much.

3. They could feel that they don’t deserve love.

If their own mothers who give birth to them and raised them find it hard to love them, it is understandable that they might feel like they don’t actually deserve love. They would feel as if nobody could ever love them because they are broken and not worth it.

4. They could be unable to say “no.”

Daughters of abusive mothers would be unable to refuse any demands and favors because they are used to being told to do things in order to be accepted by their mothers. They would think that it is natural to do things for others even when they don’t want to, just to stay in the good graces of others.

5. They could feel like they don’t belong anywhere.

Manipulative or abusive mothers would have robbed their daughters of their sense of belonging. The girls would feel like their own home wasn’t meant for them. They would not feel safe or wanted. It would be difficult for them to imagine feeling like they belong anywhere else in the world.

6. They could have difficulties with boundaries.

Without the love from their mothers, these girls may find it hard to maintain close friendships, especially with other girls. They might even try to please others so much that they end up being used instead of being in a healthy relationship. Some of them might even feel so intensely about a relationship that the other person backs off.

7. They could feel dominated by a fear of failure.

Being fed negative words and treatment as kids, daughters who are not loved by their mothers would be scared of trying their best at anything. They fear getting the same rejection their mothers so often give them. Unloved daughters are likely to become under-achievers because of this.

8. The could have difficulties seeing themselves for who they really are.

Because they have mothers who are always telling them how little and unimportant they are, it is no surprise that they would see themselves for how their mothers see them. They would think that there is no use in trying hard because their mothers would have given them the idea that they are not capable of anything. They might feel ugly looking into the mirror because they have a distorted version of themselves.

9. They could be overly-sensitive.

These daughters could be way too sensitive to the smallest comments or gestures anyone makes. They would overthink and worry about things, when the other person means nothing by them. This is possibly because they are used to being told off by their mothers for having reactions to anything.

10. They could have trouble choosing friends and partners who are not toxic.

It is normal to want to recreate a similar kind of relationship or friendship that is like the familiar relationship you have with your family. But this is bad for daughters of unloving mothers because they are likely to want to have a relationship with people who are not good for them. They would be way too eager to please and take on abuse from other people, the way they do with their own mothers.

11. They could feel insecure.

Children of emotionally unreliable mothers would feel insecure because sometimes they receive the connection they seek, but sometimes they don’t. Growing up, some of these daughters would avoid intimacy altogether, while some would try hard but never stop feeling anxious and insecure.

12. They might never believe they can succeed.

Having mothers who would scoff at them every time they tried to achieve something, these daughters would feel like they are not good enough to be successful at anything. They would believe that success stories can never be theirs.

13. They blame themselves for being treated badly by others.

It is easier to be in denial and blame themselves because then they can try and be the version of themselves that people will accept. After all, their mothers would have told them again and again that they were a disappointment. They would think that if their own mothers treat them badly, surely others cannot be blamed for doing the same thing. It must be all their fault.

14. They’re unable to let go of toxic relationships.

These girls would find it hard to let go of anyone, no matter how bad their relationship is with them. They believe that they can fix the relationship, if they only tried hard enough. This is why they keep going back to the people who hurt them, even though it might have been better to walk away.

15. They believe that love is a transaction.

To these daughters, love is conditional. Their mother’s treatment taught them that love has to be earned and that it can be taken away. They would always try to bargain and appeal to someone they love, just to feel loved.

Do you know anyone who suffers these hardships? What other difficulties do you think unloved daughters can have as adults?

Preview photo credit Mad Men / Lionsgate Television


I think most of these can be applied for boys and girls too. A lack of love from your mother is always hard for them
I think these can also apply to boys, especially the one about confidence
I know someone who can't so no at all and sometimes he hurts himself by saying yes.. I just don't know how to help him
I know one girl and I think she isn't able to let anyone really close to her. With girls it's alright, she has many friends, but with guys it's impossible for her, because this kind of relationships is way more private. She escapes from any relationship and says she'll probably never get married

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