15+ Moments When Children Showed Us Who’s the Boss

Children’s ingenuity is truly enviable. Sometimes, they do or say something really weird, but it can sound or look so funny that even a stern adult will crack up with laughter. We discovered an internet thread where parents shared anecdotes about their children. And we found these stories so hilarious that we really wanted to share them with you.

• When I was young, my little sister nearly failed kindergarten because she didn’t know the alphabet. In fact, she didn’t bother trying to learn it. When asked why, she said, “I don’t need to learn my letters because I’m pretty.” © ZephyrLegend / Reddit
• A friend of mine was trying to teach his daughter to pick up her toys when she was younger. When she didn’t do it one time, he told her he was going to throw away everything that was still on the floor. She picked them up and put them in the trash can for him. © xJeffmanx / Reddit
• I have daughters who are identical twins. One of them approached me once and said, “There are lots of members of our family tree, and I’m probably the prettiest one, don’t you think?” © andante528 / Reddit

• My almost 4-year-old told my 6-month-old that she didn’t exist and was only something in her mind and that this world was probably all a dream that the 4-year-old was having. I told her she is not allowed to practice existentialism until college. © austinmiles / Reddit
• My son was at a well child check-up, and when asked about his eating habits, he said, “I think I eat too many vegetables.” © zapv01 / Reddit

• My son started second grade this week. A couple of weeks ago, the school sent out postcards with the date and time of the “open house” and his teacher’s name. I asked him if he was excited to be in Mrs. So-and-so’s class, and he said yes, but he’s also worried. I asked what he was worried about, and he said, “What if she falls in love with me and wants to marry me?” © jeanneeebeanneee / Reddit
• I was telling the 6-year-old about my lottery ticket, and he asked, “If we win, can I have one million? I am going to give it to my principal, so he’ll close the school forever!” © O****Nightowl / Reddit
• My 7-year-old daughter didn’t want our houseguests to go in her room because they might see her awards (good grades and taekwondo belts). She worried they would think she was famous. © Gatorphan / Reddit

• I was playing cops and robbers with my son and my niece (both about 3 at the time). They put me in the jail (the sofa) and proceeded to walk out of the room. As she’s exiting, my niece turns to me with a deadpan face and goes, “Watch your back.” Then just leaves. © bthompson04 / Reddit
• My son was too young to start public school since he had a late birthday, so we had him apply to a private school, so he wouldn’t lose a year. They did a series of admission tests and the final test was an interview with the principal.
  She asked him a few pretty basic questions, one of which was to spell his name. He looked at her puzzled and got up to leave. Then he turned to me and said, “I don’t want to go to this school, the Principal can’t even spell my name.” © Rangestalker / Reddit
• My son told me he doesn’t need school because he already knows the name of 10 dinosaurs. © the*******ofalabama / Reddit

• My grandpa drove a couple of hours to come to my sister’s second or third birthday. When he was getting ready to leave, my parents told my sister to go give him a hug.
  She didn’t want to go give him a hug. They kept telling her to. Eventually she walked over to my grandpa and kicked him right in the leg. © sillywabbittrix / Reddit
• My 6-year-old son recently put his foot down letting me know it was not okay for me to tell him what he could wear or not because he is allowed to have “his own fashion.” Okay, fine. Shorts, sandals and one black sock it is. © Hefty_Detective / Reddit
• When my son was about 6, he was in the back seat with a friend, and he boasted that he had once thrown up his entire Chinese dinner on his bedroom carpet and that you could see the food and everything. © ThaneOfCawdorrr / Reddit

• While leaving a family gathering, my cousin asked my little boy for a fist bump. My child refused, the cousin said, “Come on, why no fist bump?” My kid, 5 at the time, looks him straight in the eye and says, “I don’t want to break every bone in your arm.” © dark__star / Reddit
• When my little brother was 4, he went around the entire neighborhood and wrote his name on everyone’s garage doors in really big letters with a permanent marker. © LonelyPauper / Reddit