15 Stories That Prove Parenting Is the Toughest Job in the World

Many of us want to have families of our own. But having kids is hard, and our relationships with them might not turn out the way we want. Things aren’t always as they seem, though. Here are 15 stories that might make you question your own upbringing.

• When I was a teen, my mom put in a strict curfew. She wanted me home at 10 pm every night. I fought it because I wanted to hang out with my friends, who could stay out a lot later. We got into an argument that night and I left.
  But while I was out, I saw my mom going into a 24-hour pharmacy. Turns out she had a second job that she didn’t want us to know about. She wanted me home, so there would be someone with my little brother while she worked.

• When I was a baby, my older brother passed away. Naturally, I became the oldest child, a very demanding position in my family.
  But this past Mother’s Day, my mom brought up my brother, and the fact that I was the oldest child now. She started crying. She started to talk about how she hated it when people called me “such a responsible oldest child” because I really wasn’t the oldest child.
  She thought it was unfair that I had to spend every day filling a role that was never meant for me and expressed unlimited remorse, as if this whole thing were her fault. I hadn’t seen her that weak and vulnerable in ages. I’ll never look at my mom the same way again. © corauraborealis / Reddit

• Since my mum died last year, I’ve noticed that my dad is actually... just a man. A boy, really. He’s in his 60s, but has life no more figured out than I do at half his age. He’s scared, confused, hurt, and has no idea what he’s doing.
  He had a plan for retirement and old age, but he’s just now realizing that he spent the best years of his life working and earning towards that comfortable retirement, and now he has nobody to spend it with, which is heartbreaking to see. © SoullessUnit /Reddit

• I was ashamed Mom packed leftovers in my lunch while other kids had better food. One night, I yelled, “It’s your fault we’re poor. I hate you!” A year later, she died.
  Then I found a grocery receipt in her purse. I was shocked. At the bottom, she wrote: “Skipped lunch today. Bought Emma’s science kit instead.”

• I was a single mom to a 14-year-old son when I began dating a divorced man with no children of his own. When it came time to meet his family, my son and I were welcomed with open arms.
  At the end of the weekend, we stopped for snacks and drinks before beginning the 3-hour drive home. My son asked, “Is that what a normal family is supposed to be like?”
  My heart broke for realizing what I’d been raising him in for lack of knowing any better. We’ve been ultra low contact with my mother since then. © sm*** / Reddit

• For a long time, I felt my (single) mother was absent as a parent. Turns out, she was working really hard to pay bills and make sure her kids were fed. Thanks, mom. © Proof-Mechanic-3624 / Reddit
  

• I grew up convinced my father didn’t love me. He never hugged me, never said “I’m proud of you,” and when I showed him my report cards, he only nodded. At my graduation, while other dads shouted and took pictures, he just clapped quietly from the corner.
  Once, in anger, I screamed, “You’re the coldest father ever. I wish Mom had raised me alone.” He turned away without a word.
  When he died, I found a rusted metal box in his closet. Inside were hundreds of letters he had written but never sent, each one celebrating my little victories: “She made the team,” “She aced the test,” “She’s going to be someone.”
  At the very end, I found a note where he explained why he’d stayed so reserved: “I grew up in a house where no one said ‘I love you.’ I thought showing it in words would make me weak. But every day, I was proud of you.”
  The last line hit me: “If she never reads this, I still know I raised a good heart.”

• My whole life my father was angry, distant, and penny-pinching. When I sent my parents a text from 4 states away to let them know that I was being induced a month early because my baby was having serious problems, he called and basically said, “Don’t worry about the money. Let me know when to be there, I’m booking flights now, and we can stay until you’re both out of the hospital.” And they did. © Jazmadoodle / Reddit

• I’m 30. When my mom was in her 30s, she decided that she wanted to stop being a mother figure to her six kids and go off doing her own thing. I carried a lot of anger against her for that.
  Recently, I blew off a serious commitment I had in favor of hanging out with some friends instead. I was struck by the realization that from the age of 19 my mom had only been a mom, and never been her own person. That doesn’t excuse the damage she did, but I understand now.
  I struggle to imagine if I had missed out on all the formative experiences I had since I was 19; serving a mission, dating, traveling, doing things that I wanted to do on a whim. The anger I had for her has been replaced by a greater measure of love. My mom is me. She has the same desires and dreams that I do. © meme_medic95 / Reddit

• My dad has bipolar disorder and when I was young he didn’t take his medication. So for the first few years of my life I found him kinda scary. But then sometime around the end of elementary school he started on some new medication and I realized just how much of a wonderful father he could be. © BrotherS*** / Reddit

• When I was a teenager, I felt like my Dad just barely tolerated my mom because he wanted us kids to have a solid home life. When we all left home, he didn’t divorce her. Turns out he’s both madly in love with her and kind of a pain (in a lovable, oafish kind of way). © -im-your-huckleberry / Reddit

• I was young, maybe 5? My dad had broken the bumper on his car exiting the driveway after the snow plow had passed and made a small snow bank across the bottom. I remember asking him how it happened.
  And he told me he saw the snow bank, thought it was a bad idea and that he should probably shovel it out of the way, but went through it anyway, and the bumper broke. It was the first time I realized my parents weren’t omnipotent all knowing superhumans incapable of fault. © dontlistintohim / Reddit

• Having my own child. My wife is 6 months pregnant now. I’m nervous, worried, and I have no idea what I am doing.
  I was always hard on my parents for not being perfect, and this made me realize that it is tough and nobody is ever 100% ready to be a parent. It’s just something you learn along the way. © FragrantLetterhead / Reddit

• My parents’ divorce. They became completely different people than who I thought they were. I hated them for the longest time until I became their age and realized they were young adults dealing with their own horrific traumas.
  I’m now older than they were at that time and feel helpless. It’s complex, as I would like to have a child, but I cannot put my problems on an innocent being. © AloneMedicine8981 / Reddit
  

• I realized I was 5 years older now than the age when my mum had me. Thinking about my maturity at her age and how scary my late 20s was just trying to keep my own mouth fed and head above water. I feel like I could cut her some slack for doing her best most of the time. © TheHostThing / Reddit

It’s rare to see that our parents were just trying their best, or that they weren’t actually the people we thought they were. Most of the time, we focus on their mistakes instead of the possible reasons they might’ve had for making them.

If you enjoyed this article, have a look at the next and see what you think: 8 Parenting Fails Might Be Proof That Not Everyone Should Be Allowed to Have Kids.