16 Women Who Refused to Shrink and Chose Themselves Instead

We may worry about what other people may think of us. And these thoughts sometimes prevent us from doing what we love, and box us in. The heroines of this article decided to live the way they want, no longer paying attention to other people’s opinions.

• I’m 29 now, and for the first time, I’m doing what I want without feeling embarrassed. I’m not afraid to experiment with my clothing style: I wear bold outfits and dye my hair in bright colors. In school, university, and family, I was always criticized for my appearance, constantly having to stay within boundaries.
  But now I can do what I want, and I’m truly happy. Once in a restaurant, a man remarked that my neckline was too low, and I smiled and replied, “If something bothers you, that’s your problem alone.” The thrill I felt at that moment is beyond words!
  Finally, I’ve become myself. And you also shouldn’t be afraid to express yourself the way you want.
• Do you know what I’ve learned by 35? To leave myself alone! Like many, I was taught as a child that I should constantly be doing something. Just lying around wasn’t allowed. Even resting was a change of activity, but still had to be productive.
  And finally, I’ve learned to see it differently. This morning, I was on the phone with family, and everyone asked me, “What are your plans for today?” But I have no plans! It’s Sunday, and I’m doing whatever I want. All plans are for the weekdays. © kattyhaven
• I was getting married, and the wedding was planned for July. I applied for vacation in July, and that’s when I heard this, “You should get married quietly and silently, not bothering everyone with your wedding; the whole office already knows.”
  I told the management it was none of their business — I’m taking my earned vacation, during which I do what I want. A few coworkers knew about the wedding, and I have no idea who told everyone about it. © code_garnet

• My grandma absolutely couldn’t cook and didn’t babysit the grandchildren. But her life was always bright and filled with social activities. Even after retiring at 83, she loved to dress up, put on lipstick, and go for a walk.
  More than once she brought young men home from these walks, supposedly as suitors for me. In the end, she would sit in the kitchen drinking tea with them and sharing stories. © Overheard / Ideer
• I work in a flower shop. Once a woman came in and said:
  — I need a bouquet. I just broke up.
  — Do you want to forget?
  — No. I want to celebrate choosing myself.
  I made her a bouquet of peonies and sprigs of waxflower. She replied:
  — It’s so fresh... just like me. Thank you. © florist.secrets
• It so happened that I stayed at a friend’s place for a few days. One day, coming home from work, I found her in tears. She was crying nonstop. I immediately started asking her what happened.
  She brushed me off, saying everything was fine, and went to sleep. The next day, my friend got up as if nothing had happened, cheerful and lively. All dressed up, looking impeccable and with makeup on.
  I asked about the previous day, and she said, “Everything’s great, it’s just that when I cry at night, my eyes get puffy, and makeup looks more beautifully in the morning.” © Secret Stories / VK

• We had a special emotional connection with my ex-husband. We treated each other well, but had to part ways. Now he has a life of freedom and travel, and I have a wonderful husband and 2 little boys.
  I don’t regret anything, but I don’t understand friends who say you have to hate your exes. He’s a good person, but our paths in life are different. Does that really mean I should hate him? © Ward No. 6 / VK
• I work a lot because I want my child to have a well-provided childhood and a bright future. Sometimes my son complains that I leave him too often with a nanny or his grandmother. And I say I can’t do otherwise because of my work.
  Then my mom approached me and said, “Sweetheart, he won’t be little forever. Don’t worry, there’s enough money. I’ll help. Right now he doesn’t need money, he needs his mother. Do you understand?”
  Yes, I got it. I’m grateful to my mom for finding the right words to get through to me. © Mamdarinka / VK

• I don’t care what I look like in public. I can leave the house with uncombed hair — it doesn’t matter to me. It annoys me when people somehow think they have the right to judge others by their appearance.
  Today, I overheard someone behind me saying, “What a nest on her head!” I turned and replied, “So what? I can afford it! Envy silently!” Oh, the look on that woman’s face. © Ward No. 6 / VK
• My husband told me the other night that he snuggles with me every night before he goes to sleep. Our sleep schedules are different, so I’m always the first to sleep, since I usually have to wake up earlier for my shift. I told him I don’t always remember him snuggling me, but I appreciate it. © wendy0786 / Reddit
• I’ve been a teacher for 9 years, and yesterday I resigned. Just thinking about going to school in the past couple of weeks made me feel melancholic, hopeless, and anxious. As soon as I made the decision to leave, a weight was lifted off my shoulders, even despite the nasty comments from former coworkers. On the second day now, I’m bursting with happiness for finally choosing myself. © julia.kokina.12

• My mom knitted an awesome turquoise vest for me. Now all the fashionistas at the café ask where I got it, and I say, “It’s one of a kind! Handmade by my mom.”
  It reminds me of when I was a kid: Mom would knit something for me, and I wouldn’t want to wear it because it seemed kind of wrong that it wasn’t store-bought, but made by my mom’s hands. It often seemed like she knitted something unstylish. Good thing I’ve wised up now. © Ward No. 6 / VK
• I was digging through my purse on a crowded bus when a pad fell out. Dead silence. Then some man snapped, “How shameful!”
  I don’t embarrass easily. I picked it up, looked him straight in the eye, and replied, “What is natural is not ugly.” Then calmly got off at the next stop.
• I said to my husband, “Go to the store, we need to buy milk and bread.” He was like, sure, I’ll go now, and got lost in his phone, and 15 minutes passed. I repeated the request and heard the same reply.
  After 30 minutes, I just stood over him, staring at him for 3 minutes. He got up, dressed, and said, “I can’t have a minute of peace.”
  So, this lifehack works, no need for any persuasion or reminders. I just look at him silently, and he goes to do what needs to be done. Feel free to try it. © Mamdarinka / VK

• When my mom was in college, she was stalked leaving school one day when she saw a girl she’d never gotten along with. But she ran over and was like, “Susie! Isn’t it funny, we ran into each other while going to meet up? Let’s walk together!”
  The girl looked behind my mom, saw the creepy guy, and immediately played along. Petty fights and disliking each other don’t negate girl code. © Willowed-Wisp / Reddit
• Money is just not worth the lifetime and health you have to invest to get it. And we shouldn’t focus on making as much as we can, but make barely enough to cover basic needs. And rather enjoy a cheap hot dog with friends than working extra shifts every day to be able to go to fancy restaurants twice a month or to have one stressed out and unenjoyable vacation a year since you have to be back to work soon and that’s all you can think of. © xLizzie*** / Reddit

The ability to hear your own desires is a great gift. The women in this article have found themselves, living life to the fullest — and that is inspiring. What would you do if you were in the place of one of these heroines?

And these women proved that giving up is never an option.