17 Stories About Exes That Are Like Episodes of a Soap Opera

Our exes can be so weird sometimes. You’ve broken up, but they suddenly text you years later and can’t understand how you could get married and have children. Or they just take everything out of the apartment, including toilet paper, when leaving. After reading stories like this, you don’t even need to watch TV shows.

• I made my husbands friends. They go hunting and fishing together — in short, they are good friends. Recently I came home and heard them talking. My current husband complains to my ex, “It’s so hard to live with her!” And the ex suddenly says, “I know, I lived with her!” Then they hugged. © Overheard / Ideer

• My ex-boyfriend gave me a toy bear that held a bouquet in one paw and a box in the other. He knew how I felt about these dust collectors. I said he’d have rather bought me burgers than this rubbish. We broke up, it’s been 3 years.
  My nephew’s playing with this bear and says, “Why is a ring here?” There was a ring in the box! Oh man, this quest was too complicated for me! © Overheard / Ideer
• My son is 8 years old, finishing 2nd grade. Since 1st grade he has been friends with a boy from his class, they go to the wrestling section together. And now they started to visit each other.
  At first sight, the boy reminded me of someone. His surname didn’t tell me anything, though. I asked him what his mum and dad’s names were.
  It turned out that this is the son of my ex-husband and once best friend, who 11 years ago stole him from me. It turns out that he changed his surname after the divorce to the maiden name of his mother. I decided that there was nothing wrong about the boys’ friendship and left things as they were. © Overheard / Ideer
• I’m a perfectionist and I love having an amount on my card that ends with zero. And how annoying it is to have an ex who’s blocked everywhere, who sends a dollar and writes some message along with it. Spoils me all the beauty! © Overheard / Ideer

• I broke up with my boyfriend a year ago. He grieved for a long time, and I immediately started an affair with a colleague, and we’re going to marry soon. Recently, I come to work and find out that my ex-boyfriend has been hired by our company. He’s sitting in the office next door now, tapping on his keyboard. I hate small towns. © Overheard / Ideer
• 7 years after the breakup, I got married. First, my ex made comments about how he’d never met anyone. Then he got sarcastic, begging me to show pictures of my husband.
  Finally, he wrote something in his social media status like, “My ex married a creep and that’s why she won’t show me pictures of him.” What was that, huh? © epo / ADME
• I packed my ex’s stuff, he took it and left. The next day, he came back to fight over, “You should have laundered them before you gave them to me!” © Catastrophe Me / ADME

• A friend of mine was once dating a man who, when buying expensive food, like sausage or cheese, would cut them for breakfast almost on a ruler, and then took the rest with him to work, so that his woman didn’t eat them while he was not at home. © Anxiety Cake / ADME
• Once a man invited me to his house for dinner, and asked me to chop a salad. I took a couple of tomatoes, 3–4 cucumbers, and made a salad. He waited until I finished, and then he started nudging that all women are spenders, why did I chop such a mountain, we 2 won’t eat that much, what a waste of food...
  I asked, puzzled, “Why didn’t you tell me at once, when I was just picking the vegetables and washing them?” And he said, “I was testing you on purpose!” And he’s not a poor man. In general, to hell with such tests. © CatKate / ADME
• 5 years after the divorce, my ex, after he found out that I had a heart attack, came running and demanded that I married him again. He said, “You had a heart attack, you’re going to die soon, who will you leave the house to?” © Musichka / ADME

• It sounds like a joke, but my ex called me 6 years after the breakup, and, as if nothing had happened, said, “Hey, what are you doing this weekend?” I was like, “Um, I’m kind of married.” And he’s like, “How come?” © Lena Slepokurova / ADME
• My ex-boyfriend, who quietly left me to live with my ex-friend, called me a couple of months later and told me that “he can’t live with her” because she couldn’t cook, didn’t clean the house and, worst of all, “she never irons my shirts.” I dated him for about 3 months, but I didn’t realize I was in a housekeeper casting call. I solemnly refused the prize in the shape of a couch potato and traitor. © Victoria Gregor / ADME
• I had a brief office romance, a brief one for me. I got married, had a daughter, quit that job. Suddenly he starts calling, saying he loves me, asking me to leave my husband and take my daughter with me. It lasted 12 years!
  I would block him, change my number, he still somehow learned my new number. It all ended when I once received a message “y” and then a couple more letters. I recall this “y” when meeting my friends, and we laugh. And the man finally stopped texting, he couldn’t find my new number for some reason. © Elena Fedorovich / ADME

• When I divorced my first husband, he paid the remaining part of the mortgage for the apartment we bought together from our joint savings, saying that he got this money by taking a new loan. And during the divorce, he offered me to give up my share in the apartment because he paid the main part of the mortgage.
  I don’t know what he was counting on, because the truth came out very quickly. We were married for 8 years, I thought I knew him well. Obviously, I didn’t. © Catherine / ADME
• The ex at parting solemnly said that he leaves all his gifts to me, but took toilet paper, female face wash, 3 sheets of watercolor paper (he doesn’t draw, but bought it for me), a jar of lecsó, a bag of potatoes, and my guitar. All right, just get out of here.
  But my family needed the guitar, my brother decided to follow in my footsteps and study music. And so my sister asked him politely to return the guitar, to which he said that since I decided to demand my gifts back, he also wanted all his gifts back: a ring with small diamonds, an easel, a set of cheap beads, 4 books, and a soft toy. My sister handed the stuff over.
  She told me he shook all the presents out of the bag, frantically looking for the ring. He breathed a sigh of relief when he found it. And I was very, very happy that he’s my ex now. He was worried about the ring, because he wanted to give it to his new girlfriend and was very afraid that I had taken it to a pawnshop and there would be nothing to give to her. © AnaStasia / ADME

• And my husband (soon to be ex) sincerely doesn’t understand why he should change anything, if I am not happy in our marriage. I say, I don’t like this, this and this in our marriage, I’ve talked about it hundreds of times, I get nothing, that’s why I’m filing for divorce.
  And he’s shocked, he really doesn’t get it, he says, “But you don’t like it, why should I do something about it? I’m fine with it as it is.” I’m shocked by this logic.
  And I am not happy about not so many things: that he speaks only by shouting with my son, that he doesn’t spend time with him, and that he spends all his free time at the computer. And he also teaches my son to laugh at me behind my back (“Your mom is busy with her nonsense again, her dancing? She’d better bake some cakes, eh?” And things like that). © Baladi / ADME
• A co-worker got married, and her new husband gave her a mink coat. After a while, the bloke started cheating and then left her for someone else. And took the fur coat.
  Long story short, he came back after a while. And he brought the coat back with him. Apparently, this fur coat was his challenge cup. © Elizaveta Mochalkina / ADME

And here’s another bunch of stories about exes who know how to spark total drama.