Sometimes, having a close bond with your mother-in-law can be tricky. Experts say that 3 out of 4 couples actually encounter quarrels with their spouse’s mother, so you may be considered one of the few if you don’t. Below are some tips to win over your mother-in-law’s heart based on specialists’ suggestions.
Bright Side knows how important it is to grow a bond with your loved one’s important family member, so we gathered a few tips to help you charm your mother-in-law.
1. Ask your mother-in-law for advice.
Sometimes, asking your mother-in-law for advice may be a game-changer; it’s good to show her that you can be vulnerable. However, this doesn’t mean you need to open your heart and tell her all your hopes and fears. Simply asking for advice can build up the bond you were hoping for, and you are also showing her that you trust and respect her judgment.
2. Keep your expectations positive.
What you believe may happen probably will happen. Research shows that you can get what you expect out of your relationship with your in-laws. If you expect to be close to your mother-in-law, then you probably will, and you may end up maintaining a positive relationship with them. This goes the other way around too.
3. Change the way you communicate with them.
In order to better your relationship with your mother-in-law, it’s important to change your way of communication with her. Research shows that communicating social support, such as checking up on them and helping with housework may polish up your bond.
Not only does it help improve your connection with them, but it also has health benefits, such as boosting self-esteem, so your mother-in-law may likely count on you and trust you.
4. Try not to exclude them at family gatherings.
It’s important that your mother-in-law make decisions for herself so she doesn’t feel excluded or left out. She should be able to have her own choices and express her own feelings when it comes to attending her grandchildren’s sports events, for example. Try to build a better bond and relationship with her so she can feel more included in family gatherings.
5. Accept that they will not always do things as you please.
Your mother-in-law may offer your child candy that you won’t necessarily agree to, making you seem like the bad guy. However, they are in your life, and you can’t change their decisions, which is why it’s best to adjust and adapt to the situations and different family traditions.
Grandparents are there to spoil their grandchildren, and you are there to discipline them, so try not to blame your mother-in-law for simple things such as offering candy or buying gifts more often than not.
6. Let them feel like they are receiving justice.
According to research, a great way to win over your mother-in-law’s heart is to defend her and make her notice that she is getting justice, whether it’s during arguments over household chores or walking the dog at the wrong time. This way, she can see that you are on her side, and she may value the fact that you’re standing up for her.
7. Respect the differences and boundaries.
Your family may not have the same traditions as your spouse’s family, and these differences can cause conflicts when you can’t decide which family to spend the holidays with, for example.
Try to celebrate the differences and compromise your plans — you can spend Christmas with your family and visit your spouse’s family over the summer. Respecting the differences and boundaries is important to stay close with your mother-in-law.
8. Make sure your kids show your mother-in-law they cherish her.
Your kids should already know to appreciate everything your mother-in-law does for them, there is no need to hope for it. Simply telling your kids to show it is a better way of discipline than just telling them to cherish her.
Do you get along with your mother-in-law? Will you use some of these tips to strengthen your bond with her?
