How to Get All the Respect You Need in a Few Tricks

Respect. Everybody wants it, right? But that doesn’t mean we get the fair share of respect we think we deserve. What if I told you that there are some easy tricks you can use in your daily life to be more respected?

We’re going to break down some classic body language that automatically conveys more self-confidence. And who knows, maybe you’ll walk out of this article acting like a queen or king yourself.

So, to be respected, you need to master your communication skills. But if you think that communication begins only after you open your mouth, then you’ve got it wrong. Personality expert Vanessa Van Edwards says that up to 70% of our communication happens non-verbally. It means that people respond to your body language. Try to do a brief audit on the non-verbal signals you put out into the world. For instance: you came to a party where you barely know anyone. Will you walk into the room shrinking yourself, or will you walk tall and confident?

How you manage your body language is the first thing that will make people decide whether they’ll respect you or not. Not to be tragic, but — it’s kind of true. All of this happens at an unconscious level, though. It takes around 7 seconds for someone to have their first impression of you. This is why the way you walk, talk, and present yourself matters.

If there was a manual on how to be respected, eye contact would be at the top of that list. You’ve probably heard that eye contact is a must-do in any given situation, right? People who can’t look into another person’s eyes in a conversation are considered insecure and even weak. Sure, but it’s also pretty uncomfortable when you’re talking to someone and that person won’t stop staring at your face, right? That’s because studies show that keeping 100% of eye-contact with people at all times is the most unnatural thing a person could do.

Truth is, nobody looks into another person’s eye without naturally looking away for a second or two to think and think about the conversation. Note this down: the percentage of eye contact that is acceptable and considered valuable is something around 50 to 70%. So if your main goal is to be treated with more respect, you need to be able to assess the situation you find yourself in.

Let’s say you’re in an argument: sustaining direct eye contact can show that you are firmly set on your point of view and have no intentions of backing down. But if your goal is to bring harmony to a conflict, then you are more than encouraged to look away from time to time. Looking down will show you don’t want to fight and would rather resolve the conflict in a more diplomatic manner.

Now that that’s covered, let’s talk about hand gestures. Here, the golden rule is: you need to be as big as your crowd. To get attention in large crowds, you need to scale up your hand gestures. I’m talking: wide open arms while you’re telling a story, anything that will make you look bigger than you are. Another tip is: always show your palms. Hiding your hands from your audience will not gain you any respect points.

Keep in mind that when you hide your palms, it sends a signal that you are hiding something from people. As a result, this can make you come across as less trustworthy. So keep your hands out of your pockets, even if you are extremely uncomfortable.

Ah, and forget about gripping that chair. This sends some anxiety-like vibes. Also, never rush. Make sure your body movements convey how relaxed you are. Never in a hurry and never intimidated. This helps to convey a sense of power. You wanna show that you have power over most situations in your life. Introverts might flinch just thinking about this tip.

But don’t worry, we got you covered too. Even if speaking to a large crowd might make you nervous, the important thing is to own your image. You might be the quiet one in the room, but people are still perceiving you. So own your style, and be conscious of the colors you choose to wear and the props you carry around. All of what you present counts. Think of it as your own, personal branding. And don’t be scared to be authentic. The more authentic you are, the more likely you are to be respected for simply being you.

In Hollywood, we have great examples of shy, yet extremely charismatic and lovable actors. Let’s take Tom Holland, for example. Tom is the actor behind the new Spider-Man franchise. Now, he may act all tough and brave on-screen, but behind the scenes, he’s quite an introverted person.

Personality experts that analyze Tom Holland’s interviews say that he has a trick we should all learn from. He manages to turn his shyness and nervousness into confidence. And he does that following the simple tricks we’ll show you here.

Under pressure, we all tend to show our discomfort more openly. Our bodies automatically hunch, and people can see in our faces that we’re not at ease. We’re more likely to say something that makes no sense at all. Witnessing situations such as this is uncomfortable for both or all participants. Be it in job interviews, or talk shows. Your audience won’t respond too positively to your uneasiness.

But there’s a way out. Next time you say something you think is wrong or make a mistake mid-sentence, try making fun of yourself! That’s a much better option than looking at the floor in front of you wishing you’d disappear. Remember: it’s all about body language. If you manage to convey that you are comfortable even in an uncomfortable situation, your audience will feel the same way.

Ah, and remember to speak slowly. Speaking like you’re in fast-forward mode will only convey nervousness and insecurity. A slow, paused speech will make your audience respect you a tad bit more. But don’t go making that pauses too long either. That’s just weird.

This next trick might surprise you, but if you want to be treated with respect, be open, vulnerable, and honest. One of the world’s most respected personalities today is Oprah. And if she has taught us anything over the years, it is that honesty counts.

Being the first to share intimate or even embarrassing stories about yourself has a twofold effect. First, people will perceive you as a leader, as someone who is not afraid to take initiative. Being a leader does not necessarily mean dominating the conversation or stealing the spotlight. It just means making the first, bold, move.

In this case, you’re not only a leader but also perceived as courageous — way to go, you. Just a quick reminder here, in case you didn’t know, the word courage originally comes from the French word “cœur”, which translates to the English word “heart”. So quite literally, to do things with courage means to do them from the heart.

And second, well, when you open yourself up with honesty, this sets the ground for other people to feel comfortable enough to share their stories. Beautiful, right? Now, write this down: always try telling a story from an angle people can relate to! We connect with and respect other people’s humanity, so honesty goes a long way here.

A great part of Oprah’s appeal has to do with relatability. She sets the stage to connect with the people who attend her show and speaks eye-to-eye with them. She listens actively and makes people feel heard and valued. Above all, Oprah finds a way to relate to people’s stories, oftentimes being the first one to share intimate stories about herself. I guess that’s why so many people call her a queen, huh?

At the end of the day, the important thing is for you to feel comfortable and safe in your interactions. These tricks might help, but being yourself also goes a long way in earning some well-rounded respect!