I Banned My Stepdaughter From Our Home, My Baby’s Safety Is My Priority

Blended families can often be a hit or miss. Some stepparents love their new kids. Meanwhile, others, not so much. In this case, a mom feels that her stepdaughter is endangering her baby and decides that enough is enough.

This is Maria’s story.

Dear Bright Side,

I recently gave birth and currently live with my husband and stepdaughter. The issue is, I don’t like my stepdaughter near my baby. The second I take my eyes off her, she’ll try to pick him up. She tried to lift him up but almost dropped him five times, she tried to feed him apples, and almost spilled hot soup on him.

So, I locked my baby’s door. During her last visit, I stepped away for a minute, but heard my newborn cry. When I ran to his room, my blood ran hot.

She had dragged a dining chair across the room, climbed up on it, and was leaning over the bassinet with both hands around the baby, trying to lift him out. My heart dropped. I rushed over, scooped the baby up, and I was shaking so badly I could hardly speak.

That was my breaking point. I realized I cannot relax, I cannot even step away for a sip of water, without worrying that something could go horribly wrong. So, I told my husband flat-out, “She can’t come in here until the baby is older.” I told him that she has to stay with her biological mom.

My husband was upset and didn’t say anything yet. Is there any other solution to this? Please help.

Maria F.

Your baby is your priority.

Thank you for opening up, Maria! You have every right to be concerned for your baby’s well-being, especially if your stepdaughter is acting this reckless around him.

Locking the door during her visit was the right call. It’s unfortunate that she somehow found her way in. One reason she could be doing all this, is to grab your attention. She might be jealous of the baby and wants you to notice her more.

Your husband should be understanding.

Your baby’s safety is your highest priority. Your husband needs to see that. You can try to plead your case once more by mentioning all the instances his daughter has put your baby in danger. Besides that, he can still visit his daughter in her biological mother’s home.

If he’s still not on board with the plan, then you’ll have to tell him that you’ll move (if possible) because you’re not compromising your baby’s safety.

Let your stepdaughter know that you don’t hate her.

Once your decision is said, your stepdaughter might feel like you’re shunning her away from the family. For this reason, you can gently tell her that she’s a big girl and the way she’s handling your newborn is hurting him, so it’s best that she wait until he gets bigger and stronger. Then, he can play with her.

Maria’s concern comes from a caring mother’s point of view. Her stepdaughter and husband need to understand that a newborn is very fragile. For all the new mothers out there, here are some helpful tips to get you through the newborn phase safely.