I Followed a WikiHow Guide on How to Get a Boyfriend in a Week

year ago

If I got a dollar for every time my relatives asked me if I had a boyfriend, I’d be a millionaire. Now double that figure since my younger cousin is already in a relationship, and I’m not. It bewilders me how easily people seem to find love and the only dates I’m lucky to have are in my cupboard. I don’t mind being single, but sometimes I feel like sharing the last slice of pizza with someone who can handle the noise I make in the morning.

I Googled how to get a boyfriend in a week.

You can if you want to,” I say to myself with the main theme from Mission Impossible playing in my head. I come across a guide on WikiHow and decide to give it a try. In any case, there’s nothing (or no one) to lose. The steps promise to make a guy weak in the knees in just one week and, of course, I feel tempted to try it out.

However, I take it with a grain of salt because I’ve already failed so many times, and I think it’s unlikely that I’ll find someone in a week using some guide from the Internet. Even so, I said, “Challenge accepted.”

Day 1: potential boyfriend material

First, they want me to think about who I want. Well, I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve done that. I’d probably appreciate a fun and polite guy who loves sports with a face resembling Tom Hardy and Tom Hiddleston. Just kidding, I’ll be happy if I get a guy next door at least.

Now I need to come up with a list of potential guys who are single. That’s a difficult one because almost everyone I know is already taken. Wait, I think I know one (as I quietly giggle to myself). In any case, I’ll probably go for someone I don’t know yet.

Day 2: Let the games begin!

Oh, the horror! Now it’s time to get out there and start looking. My chosen location is the gym and my university. The guide says to go to places alone (check), dress to impress (I can put on my best gym socks with bananas — their jaws will drop!), catch someone’s eye with a look, and smile (easy as pie).

They also advise searching through dating sites. I’ve never done that before, and I’m a bit skeptical and cautious of them because it seems like people just look for casual hookups there and nothing serious. I’m actually really embarrassed to upload my photo to a dating site, not to mention texting random guys first, but I’ll stick to it.

No speed dating for me, as I live in a relatively small city and couldn’t find anything similar.

Day 3: actively searching and implementing the tips

The guys from the dating site texted back, I’m starting to pay more attention to the guys around me, and I occasionally try to spark some chemistry by opening my eyes wide and grinning like a Cheshire cat. I also have some guy friends, but I don’t want to get out of the friend zone — they’re just dudes to laugh with during breaks between classes.

I’ve also cultivated an attractive attitude and personality, according to the guide. First, I should play with my hair. Seriously? Who does that apart from girls from romcoms? Ugh, if that’s the secret to getting a guy, fine! I should also occasionally touch the man’s arm during our conversation.

I did that to one guy, and he developed a confused look on his face. I don’t know, I think I did everything correctly. Our conversation lasted like a minute, and I made sure I touched his arm every 15 seconds to make it look random!

Day 4: taking further steps

I sent friend requests to all the guys I’d recently met. Some of them accepted them, some didn’t. I try to cross paths with the guys I like the most as often as possible, and once I even went to a meeting just because I knew one of the guys would be there.

I still talk to the guys from the dating site, but the conversations tend to be rather tiring. You know, something along the lines of, “What did you eat for breakfast today?” Something about this question irks me, but maybe that’s just me.

Day 5: the bravest day of my life

I don’t really like parties, I’d rather take a walk in a park or go to the gym. Yet, since I’m challenging myself this week, I’m going to go to a party with my friend, just to unwind (and possibly find a boyfriend). There was loud music, lots of people, and the stars aligned in such a way that I happened to see a familiar face in the crowd — it was the guy I’ve had eyes for some time now.

I get it together and take the initiative. I walk up to him to chat, and he seems to feel like talking. I maintain eye contact, smile, and laugh at every joke of his. There’s no way back, so I start curling my hair around my finger aggressively.

A few hours later, when the party was coming to an end, we were saying goodbye and he suddenly kissed me. I wonder if it was because of that occasional arm touching or the hair curling — either way, I wasn’t ready for that. I blushed and stormed out of the room.

Day 6: I’m getting tired.

To be honest, looking for a boyfriend is exhausting. For once, I just want to talk to the opposite gender without assessing anyone on my potential boyfriend scale. Some guys from the dating site actually turned out to be creeps, and although I expected that, I was very disappointed because I had wasted time and energy.

The guys I still talk to don’t make any advances themselves, and if I don’t go out of my way to talk to them, they just forget about me. I’m tired of being the only one to initiate contact.

Day 7: I put everything on hold.

With all these “accidental” run-ins to get more face-time and texting, I inadvertently put the rest of my life on hold. Instead of focusing on my studies, enjoying a good book or a cup of herbal tea alone, I stuffed all my free time with a boy chase.

Even though I had some great moments with the guys this week, I didn’t feel anything special. There were absolutely no sparks, and it turns out that my biggest crush isn’t that irresistible after all. Most of the guys from the dating site stopped talking to me because I didn’t contact them, while others still asked me what I ate for breakfast/lunch/dinner. I deleted my profile today and it felt liberating.

If it worked

The experiment would have worked if I had invested more time and energy into it. I still don’t have a boyfriend, but unlike a week ago, I’m completely fine with that! That’s right, it’s actually awesome to live for yourself and not try to please everyone all the time.

It’s great to put on whatever clothes you feel like wearing that day, even if they don’t “flatter your body type and compliment your eyes.” It’s great to put makeup on (or none at all) without trying to be liked. Besides, I have some really important things to do — exam prep, projects, work, and more. I’m finally happy as I am and feel complete.

Wait, we have more curious reads for you. Find out why Bradley Cooper still lives with his mom here, and this article explains why Will Smith and Jada Pinkett prefer to have a polygamous relationship. This article celebrates the diverse beauty of women from all corners of the globe, and this one reveals the fathers of the hottest men. Finally, take a glimpse into the early lives of 7 celebrities who grew up poor. From Oprah Winfrey to Selena Gomez, this inspiring article shows how these stars overcame adversity and used their experiences to achieve incredible success.

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