I Gave Birth Without My Mom Because She Chose to Attend My Sister’s Delivery Instead

Relationships
4 hours ago

When two sisters got pregnant just weeks apart, they dreamed of raising their babies side by side. But when labor came, their mom had to choose where to go first. Her text after the births should’ve been a moment of joy, until one brutal line shattered everything.

Here’s a story Remi shared with us:

"Hi Bright Side,

I’m still reeling from what happened, and I don’t know who else to talk to. My sister, Clara, and I have always been close, even with a six-year age gap. She’s the baby of the family, and my mom has always been a little extra protective of her. I never saw it as a problem until this past week.

We both ended up pregnant around the same time, due just a month apart. We joked about it, buying matching baby outfits and talking about how our kids would be best friends. Our due dates were close, and we were both huge. Last week, I started having contractions in the middle of the night. I called my mom, trying to keep my voice calm, and she said she was on her way. She’d be at the hospital as soon as she could. Not five minutes later, my phone rang. It was Clara. She was crying, saying her water had broken.

My mom immediately said, “I will go to Clara first, she’s younger, and she’s never been through this before.” Then, she added, “You’ll cope on your own.”

That was the first time I felt like I was second on the list. I told her I understood, and she hung up. I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. As soon as she was cleaned up and in my arms, I texted my mom to let her know. I was so excited to tell her.

Her response completely gutted me. “Your sister’s baby is so beautiful! You have to see her! I’ll come by after she’s settled.” It was like my news didn’t matter. She didn’t even ask how I was doing. Just “Your sister’s baby is so beautiful.” My baby is beautiful, too. She’s perfect. But it felt like my mom didn’t care.

We came home from the hospital yesterday. My mom still hasn’t come by. She sent a text this morning, “Just checking in, hope you’re all doing well! Thinking of you!”

I didn’t reply. I don’t know what to say. I know I should be happy for Clara, and I am, but I feel so hurt. I can’t help but think about how my mom was a huge part of my first baby’s birth, and with this one, she wasn’t there at all. I don’t know what to do. Should I say something to her? Or should I just let it go and try to move on?"

Bright Side readers had a lot to say about Remi’s controversial story.

Our community members flooded the comments section after they read Remi’s story. Many found it relatable, others shared their own painful experiences, and there were those who were sceptical and criticised the woman. Here are some of our readers’ opinions:

  • sunny_daze88: “Oof, my heart broke reading this. You deserved the same love and attention, not being treated like an afterthought. I’d be hurt too. Moms play favorites sometimes, but dang, this one stings.”
  • momof3anddone: “Honestly? Your mom wasn’t wrong to be with your sister. First baby is scary. But... she didn’t need to dismiss you like that. A simple ‘I love you, I’ll come as soon as I can’ would’ve gone a long way.”
  • clumsy_pumpkin: “Girl, you just had a baby, your hormones are all over the place. I get why it hurts but maybe don’t burn bridges over texts. Give her time to show up.”
  • throwaway44: “Nah, I’d be livid. Imagine being in labor and hearing your mom say you’ll ‘cope on your own.’ That’s cold. Doesn’t matter if you’re the older sibling, you still deserved her presence and care.”
  • catdad_j: “Sounds like typical golden child syndrome. Clara’s the baby, she’ll always get priority. Trust me, I’m the ‘older sibling’ too. You’ll drive yourself crazy expecting it to change.”
  • sophiaxrose: “Congrats on your little girl! ❤️ Honestly, I think you should just tell your mom how her words made you feel. Don’t keep that bottled up, it’ll turn into resentment fast.”
  • redflagreader: “Not to be harsh, but... you kinda knew your mom would rush to Clara. She’s always been protective of her, right? I wouldn’t have expected different. Doesn’t make it less painful though.”
  • tealeaf_77: “My mom did the same thing when my sister and I had kids. She acted like mine was ‘routine’ and my sister’s was this huge miracle. It hurt like hell. I stopped chasing her approval and it’s been freeing.”
  • pizza_napkin: “I don’t think your mom meant harm. She probably panicked and thought Clara needed her more. But yeah, the ‘you’ll cope’ comment... yikes. That was unnecessary.”
  • ⚡stormynight24⚡: “Your mom minimized your moment, period. It’s not about who needed her more, it’s about being fair and loving to BOTH daughters. She failed you there.”
  • bananabreadOG: “As a middle child, let me just say: parents do this favoritism thing without realizing. You’re not overreacting, but try to see if it’s pattern or just this one time before cutting her off emotionally.”
  • quietreader01: “Please don’t let this take away from your joy right now. You just brought life into the world! Focus on bonding with your baby. The mom issue can be sorted later, but your newborn deserves all your light.”

A piece of advice from Bright Side editorial

Dear Remi,

Sometimes, the pain isn’t only about your mom’s absence, but about how invisible you felt in such a monumental moment. One way to process this is to create your own "birth memory ritual"—print out your baby’s first photo, write down your emotions from that night, and celebrate it with your partner or closest friend, as if rewriting the narrative on your own terms. Then, when you’re ready, talk to your mom not about blame, but about what you needed and didn’t get, because people often understand better when you frame it as a missed opportunity, not an accusation.

You can even invite her to create a special “grandma—second baby tradition” just for your child, giving her a way to step up now rather than staying stuck in what she missed. The key is balancing your valid hurt with giving her a clear chance to repair. If she takes it, the bond can grow stronger. If not, you’ll already have built a meaningful moment without her.

A mother-daughter relationship can sometimes be a plot for a real drama movie. Such a thing happened to a Reddit user, who seemed to have demonstrated the warmest attitude to her daughter, who has kids and lives in her house. But the result of such a relationship turned into a huge family catastrophe, which may hurt many people, including the innocent kids. The desperate woman is now trying to resolve an uneasy dilemma.

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