I Have Been Lying to My Wife for Years, and I Don’t Know How to Stop (It’s Not What You Think)

Relationships
month ago

family man is at a crossroads ― he’s been keeping a secret from his wife for years, and it’s becoming a burden too heavy to carry. However, he can’t stop, and he’s unsure if he should come clean to his wife after so long. He turned to social media to tell his story and perhaps get some advice.

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He wrote:

«I’ve been married to my wife for 8 years, together for 12. We have a 4-year-old daughter. I love them both as much as a human is capable of loving, more than I ever thought I’d love anyone. I genuinely couldn’t live without them. However, I’ve been keeping a massive secret from them both, and it’s starting to weigh on my conscience.

Every few months, maybe 2–4 times a year, I rent a hotel room. I tell my wife I’m going on a business trip, or visiting my sister, or whatever believable excuse I can think of that would get me out of the house for a night or two. And I eat.

You see, my daughter has a peanut allergy. Which means we’ve become a strict no peanut household. So I get a room, and I gorge on everything I can’t have at home. Peanut butter, cookies, Reese’s, Cap’n Crunch, Nutty Buddies, puppy chow, you name it. I put on a movie and eat myself into a coma.

Then the next day I brush my teeth several times, put the clothes I was wearing in a bag, take a super hot shower and put on fresh clothes that I kept sealed in a plastic bag. And I go home, where the clothes go straight in the washer with a little bleach.

And my sweet, beautiful family doesn’t suspect a thing. My wife always greets me so warmly, asks how my trip was, and kisses me on the same lips I used to lie and betray them. And I tell myself I’m not gonna do it again, until a few months have passed, and I’m sweating at the thought of a Snickers bar.»

Although the lie seems completely harmless, people still questioned the man about his actions.

Some online users took to the comment section of the post to try to understand why the husband didn’t just tell the truth to his wife, given that it wasn’t a serious matter. Some even related to the situation, with one person saying his son was allergic too, but that he and his wife simply ate outside the house whenever they felt like it.

The man’s answer was very straightforward. «I guess I just felt so guilty after the first time I did it that I avoided telling her, and now I feel like I’m in too deep,» he explained. «I do wish I would’ve just come clean because I don’t think she would’ve been that mad, but now I’m not so sure.»

Someone else questioned whether the wife might not need a break herself, but the husband guaranteed that wasn’t the case. «I’m not doing this because I need a break, I assure you I take care of the house and our kid equally,» the husband said. «She gets her breaks, trips away, me time, time out with friends honestly more than I do since she’s the social butterfly and I prefer to stay at home. I’m doing this because I need peanuts, not a break from my family.»

Others decided to offer advice and a new perspective.

  • She will be mad. Your post is cute, wholesome and funny, but it’s still a secret you’re keeping from your wife, on top of the fact that you’re lying to her. Lies beget more lies, and it wouldn’t be totally off-base for your wife to ask what else you’ve been lying about. Maybe stop with the hiding it and invite your wife. © verydudebro / Reddit
  • I would tell your wife, because one day she’ll find the hotel room receipts/charges and think you are having an affair, and this is so weird she won’t believe the truth. © Unknown author / Reddit
  • Not going to lying dude, I was expecting this story to be worse. Maybe you should tell your wife that you do this every now and then? I mean would it be that bad? It seems like you’re doing everything to protect your daughter from her allergy.
    I don’t think it’s wrong to want things that you might not get to have at home with a family member’s allergy, but if you’re not careful your wife might think your cheating. That is worst case scenario and that’s exactly what I thought this was when I started reading. © Intelligent-Fennel56 / Reddit

Relationships are complex and can be difficult sometimes, but there probably isn’t a more magical moment than realizing you’ve found «the one.» In this article, you will find true stories of people recounting those moments, and they can warm your heart just as much as a hug would.

Preview photo credit freepik / Freepik

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