I Refuse to Let My DIL’s Kid Sleep at My House Every Weekend, My Comfort Comes First

Having kids isn’t easy. We want to provide for our families and try our absolute best to make sure they get the best start to life. But with time, those relationships can become complicated, especially when there’s a spouse involved. One of our readers shared her experience.

This is Julia’s story.

Dear Bright Side,

I retired a few years ago and moved into a smaller, two-bedroom house. I didn’t need much as my husband had already passed away and just wanted a guest room in case one of my children came over. Or at least that was what I thought.

Last year, my son got remarried to a woman who has a daughter, Mia, from a previous relationship. Mia lives with her father, so the dynamic fit my son and his schedule quite well. But things took a turn.

My son reached out and told me he had been laid off, along with many others, at the company he was working for. He was trying to find a new job, but he was struggling, so I let him and his wife move in with me until they could get back on their feet again.

My son was hesitant, but I told him I was happy to help, he was my family after all, and I would do whatever I can to help a family member in need. Shortly after that, they came over. That was about two months ago and everything was going well until recently.

My son and DIL told me that Mia would be coming over every weekend. I was a bit nervous because I didn’t really know the child, but I was open to having a discussion about it. Then they asked if they could use my bedroom.

At first, I agreed. I didn’t mind sharing my space with a grandchild, in fact I thought it would be fun. I could bake with her and tell her stories, something I always wanted to do. But then my DIL told me that Mia can’t sleep with other people and would need to have the space to herself.

I was confused, until they asked me to sleep on the couch so she could have the bedroom. I refused because I had a hip replacement a few years ago, and I would be putting it at risk if I slept on something as hard and uncomfortable as the couch.

But this morning I went out to get some groceries and when I got back I froze. I saw that they had already rearranged my bedroom and replaced the linen with kid’s stuff. The decision had been made without me, as if I were a guest in their home and not the other way around.

I pulled my son aside and asked him what happened. He looked defeated and said, “It’s just for two nights, can’t you make due on the couch?” I said no because it would happen every weekend and I can’t risk my health like that.

Later that day, when my son tried to discuss it with his wife, they got into an argument, and she left, saying, “If my daughter isn’t welcome here then neither am I.” So Bright Side, what’s your opinion? Should I have given up the bed to spare my son the drama?

Regards,
Julia F.

Some advice from our Editorial team.

Dear Julia,

Thanks for reaching out and sharing your story.

The moment they rearranged your bedroom while you were out was the line being crossed, not the moment you said no to the couch.

This isn’t about refusing a child or being inflexible. It’s about your son and DIL quietly redefining your home as theirs and repositioning you as the inconvenience, despite your age, your hip replacement, and the fact that you are the one providing the roof.

If you had given up the bed “just for two nights,” it would have locked in a weekly expectation where your health comes second to their comfort and decisions get made without your consent.

The correct boundary here isn’t emotional, it’s practical: your bedroom is non-negotiable, and any arrangement involving Mia has to work around that reality, not erase it.

Your son’s marital conflict didn’t start because you refused the couch. It started because he allowed his wife to override the homeowner and gamble with your physical well-being to avoid a harder conversation with her.

Standing firm now is the only way to prevent this from becoming a permanent, weekend-by-weekend erosion of your autonomy.

Julia finds herself in a difficult position, and at this point we don’t know how it will affect the relationship with her son. But she isn’t the only one with daughter-in-law problems.

Another one of our readers reached out to share their story. You can read the full version here: My DIL Charges Me for Toilet Paper When I Babysit—in My Son’s House.