I Refuse to Let My Ex Destroy My Dream Job—But Now He’s Involving HR

Not all relationships work out, and that’s okay. But when those failures end up influencing our careers or costing us money, then they become a problem. One of our readers reached out to share a recent experience she had with an ex she thought was long gone.

This is Yvonne’s story.

Dear Bright Side,

A while ago, I started dating a cute guy. Things were going well, and after he started sharing a lot of personal information, I figured we were off to a good start. But after a few dates, my ex ended things and vanished.

A few months later, I landed my dream job at a big company I always wanted to work for. On the 1st day, I found out that my ex would be working on the same team with me. When he saw me, he shook my hand and said, “Welcome to the team.” Like we’d never met.

I was very confused, but I smiled and played along, thinking he didn’t want our past to interfere with our work. The next few days were very awkward and uncomfortable, but I thought it would pass as soon as we found our rhythm. I had no idea how wrong I was.

At the end of my first week, HR pulled me in and told me that my ex had laid a complaint against me. I was shocked when I found out the reason. Turns out he accused me of “stalking him.” I couldn’t breathe. Apparently he told them that I couldn’t get over our relationship ending, and I must’ve gotten a job here to get close to him.

But I applied for this job months before we even met. HR told me they’d give me a chance to prove my side of the story, since the only evidence he provided was a couple of texts we exchanged while we were together.

I was furious, and in that moment of anger, I confronted him, and he said, “I shared a lot of personal things with you. I’m scared you’ll expose who I really am.” I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. Was he really turning my dream job into a nightmare because he didn’t bother getting to know me?

Now I’m conflicted and confused. I can actually expose him; I have enough evidence of him telling me insider secrets that are considered to be confidential, and I can prove my innocence. But I’m wondering what path I should take.

So, Bright Side, what is your opinion? Do I go all out and show the company who he really is? Or do I protect my dignity and just prove that I never stalked him?

Regards,
Yvonne B.

Some advice from our Editorial team.

Dear Yvonne,

Thank you for reaching out and sharing your story with us.

Protect yourself first, not the storyline you wish this had. Right now, this isn’t about revenge or exposing his character; it’s about stopping a false narrative from sticking to your name at a company you worked hard to get into.

Do not confront him again, and do not “go all out” unless HR formally asks for more. Calmly document everything: the date you applied for the job, the timeline of when you met him, the full-text history (unaltered), and any proof that he voluntarily shared personal information with you.

Present only what directly disproves the stalking claim and shows there was a brief, consensual connection that ended on his terms.

If you expose the confidential information he shared, you risk shifting the focus from his false accusation to your handling of sensitive material, even if you’re morally in the right. Let HR see the pattern without you looking reactive or vindictive.

The most damaging thing you can do to him is not retaliation; it’s staying professional, factual, and impossible to discredit while he looks increasingly unstable on his own.

Yvonne finds herself in a difficult position, and the decisions she makes next have the potential to make or break the career she has built for herself. But she isn’t the only one who is having problems with an ex.

Another one of our readers reached out to share their experience. You can read the full story here: My Ex Made an Outrageous Request, and My Wife Agreed to It.