I Refuse to Let My Stepmom Erase My Mom’s Memory, So I Chose Revenge

Family & kids
2 months ago
I Refuse to Let My Stepmom Erase My Mom’s Memory, So I Chose Revenge

One reader wrote in with a tale of family tension and clever revenge. After her dad remarried, she found herself at odds with her new stepmom, and things quickly escalated in a way that was equal parts mischievous and satisfying.

Hey Bright Side,

I’ve got a story for you, and I’m not proud... but I also don’t regret it. After my mom passed away, we kept her ashes in her favorite vase. It was special to all of us. But soon after, my dad remarried. His new wife absolutely hated the vase. She said, “It creeps me out, I want it gone!”

One day, my dad told me they had moved it to my aunt’s house. I just smiled to myself. That night, I went into my stepmom’s bedroom and quietly hid all her necessary things in random, unexpected places. I wanted her to feel a tiny fraction of the frustration she gave me. Then I also messed up her clothes and scattered some stuff around the room.

When they returned, she was furious and threatened to ground me. I didn’t care: she had been dismissive of something that meant everything to me. Even now, she still asks about the things I hid, and I just pretend not to know.

But, yeah, well, ugh, I don’t know. Did I cross the line? Where is the line?

— Evelyn

Evelyn, the only "line" you might have crossed was allowing yourself a moment of frustration and revenge as you hid some of her things, but I think that is a forgivable crossing of the line. My father also remarried after my beloved mother died of cancer 19 days after it was diagnosed. I was 30 and pregnant with my 2nd child - a little girl who never got to meet her grandmother. My father's second wife demanded that he sell his house and buy a new one for them. I lost not only my mother but also the home where all our memories of her were. When they moved, she insisted they get rid of everything and buy new furniture and kitchen accessories so that she literally did not have to touch anything that my mother had touched. She married a man with 5 children and 11 grandchildren and wanted him to pretend that he had no past. My family fell completely apart. Women need to learn that when they marry a man who had already been married, if they can't accept his children, his habits, his first family's traditions and important days, then they should not marry him. I totally understand your feelings and your reactions - it's something that people cannot understand if they haven't lived the same experience.

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It's more important that the men that marry these women need to remember that. No real man would allow anyone to get in the way of his children.

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3 weeks ago
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Never forget your mom. You should tell your stepmother there is room in your heart for the noth of them and she doesn't need to try to compete. Your dad is a mega arse for allowing this to happen. Your stepmother is an arse too for fighting with a dead woman.

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The fact that your own FATHER could not be bothered to talk to you about it, BEFORE moving it out of the house says a lot. Your SM isn't creeped out by it she is forcing your dad to choose sides, and he did. I think that you should tell him exactly how you feel about it, and regardless of what his wife wants that you are NEVER GOING TO FORGET ABOUT YOUR MOM. You can start by spraying your mom's favorite perfume around the house and play her favorite songs when he's there. It will be a bonus if your SM is there too, but the point is to remind him if what he lost. If he gives you grief about it then you will know for sure that he didn't care about her as much as he might say. Is it possible that he and the SM were an item before your mom died? I don't know how old you are but perhaps you can stay with your Aunt. The fact that your mom's memory is being erased is so wrong. If your father has children with her he will be truly stuck, financially, emotionally and even physically, because she will hold any child over his head to get what she wants. Anyone with minor children should NOT REMARRY. Live together, if you want, but don't share anything that can financially or emotionally or physically tie you to anyone but your child until they are adults. Children take it very personally when they lose one parent and then have to put up with a New MOMMY OR DADDY ! It's unfair to the child and because they are children, you can't expect them to be rational about their feelings, because they ARE CHILDREN. Any parent that doesn't take the childrens interests first are just fooling themselves. It doesn't matter if the stepparent is wonderful or not. How many stories are on this site about "MY CHILD'S COMFORT, SAFETY, AND ANY OTHER CONCERNS COMES FIRST" It's a natural reaction. There's also the other side, "MY PARENT FORGOT ME BECAUSE MY STEP WHATEVER WANTS THEM TO BE THERE FOR THEIR ____fill in the blank. There's no upside to the MAJORITY of these situations. Protect yourself from the SM FROM HELL because your father doesn't seem like he is going to.

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Cheryl Cadwell - You said that very well ! There's one thing that nobody has mentioned yet. It's a touchy, emotional issue but I think it needs to be said. When my father remarried, his new wife nagged him bitterly for all the years of their marriage, to change his Will which he refused to do until the last year of their marriage when he was dying of cancer. She managed to get him to change his Will when he was near death and couldn't fight any more. His entire estate went to her, and when she died, her two children got everything that had been his. If a parent with children is considering remarriage after their spouse's early death, they should make iron-clad decisions about their Will and their possessions and entrust a lawyer to handle their estate when the time comes.

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3 weeks ago
Shhh! The comment is asleep.
5 hours ago
Oops, the admin pressed "delete".

Thank you so much for sending in your story! It’s clear that your stepmom’s attitude toward your mom’s belongings hurt you deeply, and it’s completely understandable to have strong feelings about it. While getting revenge can feel satisfying in the moment, it’s also a chance to reflect on ways to express your emotions constructively.

Instead of acting out physically, try keeping a journal or confiding in someone you trust about your frustrations. Writing down your feelings can help you release anger safely without escalating conflict. You could also consider having a calm conversation with your dad or stepmom to explain why certain things are meaningful to you: sometimes adults don’t realize the emotional weight of their actions.

Balancing your own feelings with family dynamics is never easy, but finding ways to assert yourself while staying safe and respectful can help protect your emotional well-being and maintain peace in the long term.

What would you do in this situation? Before you go, read the story of a parent who refused to keep playing dad to a son who shut them out, and made a choice that changed everything. It’s a powerful tale about boundaries, family, and tough decisions that hit hard.

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