I Refuse to Serve Coffee to My Boss, I’m the HR, Not a to-Go Coffee Place

Workplace power struggles are more common than people think, especially when bosses cross professional boundaries and treat employees like personal assistants. Many workers face unfair demands, blurred job roles, and toxic leadership that leave them questioning their rights.

Mimi’s story:

Hello Bright Side!

I work in HR at a pretty big company. I actually really love my job; it’s busy, I get to help people, and I feel like I’m good at what I do. But my boss? She drives me insane sometimes. Last week, she had some guests in her office. Totally fine, no big deal.

But then she comes out and straight-up tells me, like I’m her assistant or something, to go make and serve them coffee. I just froze for a second, then leaned in and said, “That’s not really my job.” She gave me this death stare and then said, “I pay you, so I can ask you to do anything I want.”

Y’all... my face turned SO red. I felt embarrassed, angry, and just... small. Like, excuse me?? I worked so hard to get here. I’m HR, not her personal waitress. Now I keep replaying it in my head. Part of me feels like I stood up for myself, which I don’t usually do, but another part of me is low-key terrified I just painted a target on my back.

So, Bright Side, am I a bad guy for refusing to serve coffee, or was I right to set that boundary? What would you do in my shoes?

Thank you in advance,
Mimi.

Thanks so much for opening up and sharing your story, Mimi! It takes guts to put something like that out there. We know how frustrating and confusing these situations can feel, so we tried to gather a few pieces of advice that might help you see it from different angles. Hopefully, something here clicks and gives you a little clarity or peace of mind.

1. Boundaries aren’t optional.

Listen, you didn’t get hired to be a barista. You’re HR. When she tried to pull the “I pay you” card, that was her showing she doesn’t respect your role. Boundaries at work aren’t being “difficult,” they’re literally survival. Keep holding that line, you’ll thank yourself later.

2. Don’t gaslight yourself.

The worst thing is when you start second-guessing, like, “Was I overreacting?” No. If it made you feel small and disrespected, that’s valid. Don’t downplay it. Trust your gut, it’s usually right. And if your gut keeps sending the same signal, it’s probably time to act on it.

3. Practice neutral responses.

You don’t always have to go full “that’s not my job.” Sometimes just smiling and saying, “I’ll focus on HR tasks for now,” shuts it down without inviting an argument. It’s like judo, you redirect their energy instead of clashing head-on.

At the end of the day, no one deserves to feel small or disrespected at work. With the right boundaries and support, it’s possible to protect your peace and still thrive in your career.
Read next — “My Boss Asked for My Live Location, but It Had Nothing to Do With Work”