Dear Bright Side,
My mom passed away when I was very young, around 4 or 5, so for most of my life it was just me and my dad. And things were going well, but as I got older, I knew it wasn’t going to last. My dad started dating again, and it was only a matter of time before our lives changed.
When I was 14, he met someone. He said that she was the woman for him, and they wasted no time on the ’getting to know you’ part of the relationship. They quickly got married, so quickly that I only met her after things were said and done, which I thought was strange.
But I wanted my dad to be happy again, so I made an effort to get along with his new wife. That was easier said than done, though. I realized that this woman had my dad wrapped around her little finger, and it was affecting me in ways that it shouldn’t.
Her daughter got everything she wanted, including my room, while I was told to adapt or leave. I was shocked; not only did I have to sleep on the couch, but my dad, who meant everything to me, acted like I didn’t exist.
I tried to bring it up with him so we could fix the issue, and that was when I discovered that I was no longer his priority. He had chosen his wife over me, and that wasn’t going to change. So the day I turned 18, I left his house and embarked on my own journey.
It’s 10 years later now. I’m 28 and living a really good life. I have a well-paid job, and I’m married to a man my dad would never accept because he’s actually good for me. We just bought a house and are planning on starting our own family soon.
Last week, my dad called, and to my shock, he said that his wife had left him, and she took everything he owned, including the house. Then he asked if I could lend him some money to rent a new place and get furniture.
I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. He tossed me out like an old piece of garbage, and now, after 10 years of no contact, he expected me to “help him out?” I asked him what made him think I was in a position to help, and he said that he had been following my career.
He knew I was married to a wealthy man, and because of that, I would have no problem helping him with a few thousand dollars. His attitude about the whole situation made my stomach churn. So I told him that there was no way I’d be helping him. He’d have to find his own way, like I did all those years ago.
My husband thinks I’m being too harsh and thinks we can at least offer to let him stay with us until he gets back on his feet. So Bright Side, what do you think? Should I give my dad a second chance? Or will he just ruin my life again like he did 10 years ago?
Regards,
Norma J.
Simple, tell your husband about your father easily get scammed and might bring misfortune if you house him and you don't want to take blame because it's your husband decision. Put the blame at the correct person. Also call lawyer and investigator to search any gap in that stepmother obtaining the house, rob back if possible. Take EVERYTHING BACK if you could.
Your husband is fantastic chap. Hold on to him, whatever you choose for your father
Dear Norma,
Thank you for reaching out and sharing your story with us.
Your father didn’t just fail you once; he made a series of deliberate choices that culminated in forcing his minor child out of her own home, then disappearing for a decade without remorse, apology, or accountability.
The first words out of his mouth after ten years weren’t “I’m sorry” or “I failed you,” but a calculation of your income and your husband’s wealth, which tells you exactly how he still sees you: as a resource, not a daughter.
Letting him stay with you wouldn’t be an act of kindness. It would recreate the same power imbalance that harmed you at 14, except this time inside the life and home you worked a decade to build in safety and peace.
If your dad genuinely wants a second chance, it should begin with repair, not rescue: therapy, accountability, and a willingness to accept boundaries without financial or housing support attached.
Until then, protecting the family you’re creating, including yourself, isn’t cruelty. It’s the lesson he taught you when he chose someone else over his child and told you to “adapt or leave.”
Norma finds herself in a difficult position, and her next steps will shape her future, so we can only hope she follows the right path.
She isn’t the only one with family issues, though. Another one of our readers reached out to share their experience. Read the full story here: My Estranged Parents Want to Reconnect, and I’m Struggling With How to React.
