I Refused to Forgive My Son After He Demanded I Leave My Own Home for His Family

This is Kendra’s story.
Dear Bright Side,
I recently found out that my DIL was pregnant and I was over the moon. I had already started planning the baby room and ordered some things online. It would be my first grandchild, so I must admit that I did go a bit over board.
But a few days later my son came over and said, “Can you please move out so we can have the house? With the baby on the way we’re going to need more space Mom.” I was shocked to my core. This is MY house, the one thing I had left after giving everything else to my kids.
So I refused. My son lost it completely and snapped at me, saying, “A real grandma would sacrifice for those she claims to love.” I was hurt and disappointed. I never thought my son would be so cruel, especially not because he didn’t get his way.
So I got in my car and went shopping with the hope that it would calm my nerves and help me see things clearly. I thought I had come up with a solution that would help us all, but apparently, I was wrong. When I got home, my groceries crashed down and hit the floor.
I saw two police cars sitting outside my garage and the officers were speaking to my son. I went to find out what happened and the officer told me that my son said I was “trespassing” on his property. He wanted them to remove me. At that point I was furious.
I told the officers exactly what had happened and they told my son to leave. He stormed out like I had offended him and I haven’t heard from him since. But yesterday my DIL sent me a message and said that I could either give them the house or they wouldn’t let me see my grandchild.
So Bright Side, what should I do? Do I give in to their demands and lose my home? Or do I stand my ground and risk losing my grandchild?
Regards,
Kendra H.
Some advice from our Editorial team.

STAND YOUR GROUND! Sorry to say this but I think you gave him to much in the past now he expects you to keep giving.
Stand your ground. Sounds to me it might be coming from your dil.
YOU STAND YOUR GROUND!
Wow your son has showed you who he is. See lawyer, put house in trust with you as the trustee. Using a future grandchild as blackmail is sinking way too low for words. You need a restraining order for him and probably DIL as well. What entitled twits.
Get a lawyer and protect yourself. While you're at it get a restraining order against your son. He sounds like a problem and a danger you don't need in your life.
Let them go!
stand your ground and keep the house you've worked to buy and maintain...your son and DIL will change their minds about you seeing the baby when they need money for baby things (which you can decide how generous you may want to be toward them) or babysitting...NEVER give into threats or blackmail, and DO NOT SIGN YOUR HOUSE OVER TO THEM unless you have a desire to be homeless....even if they offer to "share" the house, you will still be at a disadvantage as you will become cook, cleaner, laundry woman, babysitter -- AND they could still force you out if you give up LEGAL OWNERSHIP to the house....let THEM sort out their money, housing needs, and childcare requirements on their own....if they're old enough to be married and have a baby, they are old enough to take responsibility for the different aspects of their lives without infringing on you.....
Never give in to emotional blackmail
This is so nasty it's almost unbelievable; you must be wondering what kind of person you've raised and, especially, what kind of child they will raise!? I'd say you should accept your disappointment, cut your losses, and withdraw from your relationship. Preferably sell your house and move far way, then Will your estate away from them (maybe leave it all to the grandchild(ren) when they achieve their majority); of course let them know what they've achieved with their ridiculously poor attitude. On the other hand, that would tear you apart, but you mustn't give in, which might be even more horrid, a festering unpleasantness with no prospect of end. Your on you own, I feel for you, good luck.
I AGREE WITH MOST OF WHAT YOU SAID. EXCEPT THE GRANDKIDS PART. IF THEY RECIEVED ANYTHING FROM GRANDMA, (IF SHE DIED SOONER THAN REALISTICALLY EXPECTED) HER SON WILL HAVE ACESS TO IT. MAYBE A TRUST THAT ONLY GOES INTO EFFECT WHEN THEY REACH AN AGE WHERE THEY ARE OLD ENOUGH (25 AT LEAST) TO MAKE MORE SOUND DECISIONS ABOUT THEIR OWN NEEDS AND FUTURES. BUT NOTHING IS GUARANTEED WITH PEOPLE LIKE HER GREEDY SON.
No, it depends on the terms of a Trust for a minor; parents can be easily denied access (a Trust can even stipulate why too). I'm not sure about US law, but other countries will allow settlement of Trusts, once the minor reaches the age of their majority, so specifying a greater age can be pointless.
WELL, AS YOU SAY, LAWS ARE NOT THE SAME EVERYWHERE. MY FRIEND HAD A TRUST THAT WAS ADMINISTERED BY HER STEP UNCLE, HE REFUSED EVERY REQUEST SHE MADE TO ACCESS HER OWN MONEY, AND THE COURT SIDED WITH HIM, BECAUSE HE WAS NAMED AS EXECUTOR. SHE WAS IN HER 60'S WHEN SHE DIED, WITHOUT EVER RECEIVING A FRACTION OF HER RIGHTFUL "INHERITANCE". SO THE AGE ISN'T POINTLESS, IT IS A REAL ISSUE AND EACH CASE CAN HAVE A DIFFERENT OUTCOME. BEING THE AGE IF "MAJORITY" MEANS NOTHING, IF IT IS WRITTEN THAT WAY. AT LEAST HERE IN THIS STATE.
Who the hell just demands their parents to just give them their house? The son and DIL could stop being entitled and just rent their own home. The son and DIL are AHs and Kendra should just block him. DIL is sick for threatening her like that.
Tell them that you will miss getting to know your grandchild. Change the locks, and VOLUNTEER at a children's ward. Or a library. If you give in now, you will be emotionally blackmailed EVERYTIME the want something of YOURS.
Dear Kendra,
Thank you for reaching out and sharing your story with us.
Do not reward this behavior by handing over your house, because this isn’t about space, it’s about leverage. Your son already tried to have you removed from your own property by lying to the police. Your daughter-in-law is now using access to your grandchild as a bargaining chip.
If you give them the house under pressure, you’re not securing a relationship with that baby, you’re teaching them that threats work. Instead, protect yourself first.
Make sure the house is legally airtight in your name (consult a property attorney if needed), change the locks if they have access, and communicate only in writing so you have records.
Then send one calm, firm message: you love them and want to be involved, but you will not surrender your home or respond to ultimatums. If they choose to withhold the baby, that is their decision, and you can revisit your legal options for grandparents’ visitation later if it comes to that.
The most important thing right now is not to negotiate from fear. If you give up the last thing you have left under coercion, you won’t just lose your house, you’ll lose your footing entirely, and they’ll know exactly how to control you going forward.
Kendra finds herself in a very difficult position and we can only hope that she can resolve this problem without her son involving the baby even more than he already had.
She isn’t the only one with family struggles though. Another one of our readers also shared their experience. You can read the full story here: My Son Wants to Kick Me Out on the Street to Accommodate His New Family.
Comments
This is an impossible situation. Protect yourself before all else. If son is on any kind of legal paperwork, get him off now. Do not give him any leverage over you, your medical care or belongings.
Change your locks, garage door codes, make sure all windows securely fasten and get security cameras. If he and his wife are unhinged enough to call the police on you for trespassing, they are not done with you yet. Be vigilant.
Document every threat, every manipulation attempt and every attempt at in person contact. Also, if need be, get your other child(ren) involved. If you trust them and they can be of help, make sure they are named medical proxy and are able to handle your affairs. As unfortunate as it is, you will probably need to come to terms with the fact that you will not be able to meet your grandchild. Your son and his wife will use this to punish you. I am so sorry you are going through this!
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