I Will Not Pay My SIL for Babysitting — She’s Living With Us Rent-Free

3 months ago

We believe our family members will be there for us and earn our highest trust, but Dorothy's experience had a heartbreaking outcome. After welcoming her husband's 20-year-old sister into their home, Dorothy and her husband asked her to babysit their two children. Unfortunately, things went terribly wrong, and the sister-in-law betrayed their trust in the worst possible way.

This is Dorothy’s letter:

Karen Keaton

3 months ago

Have you asked her on a way not to come out but on a way around to see if she says something about the money.?

Laura Parker

2 months ago

If you are expecting her to take care of YOUR children two nights a week, she is hardly living in your home ‘rent free’!!

Brenda Barnes-Kilmury

3 months ago

Your husband and you absolutely should’ve called the police because you’re not helping his sister at all except to continue behaving the same way and she absolutely needs to get out.

Hello Dorothy! Thank you for your letter. We’ve prepared some advice that will help you navigate this situation.

Consider family mediation.

Vanessa R. Brown

2 months ago

I would make her aware that I have a video of her. Then I will tell her she is not allowed in our home any more. For her to find a job and repay the money or I will have her arrested. If your husband doesn't support you on your decision, then he needs to go with her.

Since your husband is reluctant to call the police because it involves his sister, explore the option of family mediation. A professional mediator can help facilitate a structured conversation between you, your husband, and his sister to address the betrayal and establish clear consequences for her actions.

This approach may help resolve the conflict without involving law enforcement and maintain family relationships while addressing the issue at hand.

Implement strict boundaries and security measures.

If your husband insists on not involving the police, make it clear that his sister is no longer welcome in your home. Change the locks and update your home security system, including installing additional cameras if necessary.

Clearly communicate to your sister-in-law that her actions have consequences, and ensure that she understands she cannot come near your home or children without permission. This step protects your family while respecting your husband’s wish to avoid police involvement.

Seek legal advice.

Even if you decide not to call the police, consulting with a lawyer can provide you with options and advice on how to protect your family and assets legally. A lawyer can help you understand your rights and potentially draft a cease-and-desist letter to your sister-in-law, formally warning her against future misconduct.

This approach creates a legal record of her actions without immediately resorting to criminal charges.

Address the underlying issues with your husband.

Have an open and honest conversation with your husband about the impact of his sister’s betrayal on your family. Express your concerns about trust, safety, and the well-being of your children. Emphasize the need for a united front and mutual agreement on how to handle the situation.

This discussion should aim to ensure that both of you are on the same page regarding family boundaries and the importance of addressing such serious breaches of trust.

Staying on the theme of babysitting, Carla is fed up with taking care of her three stepchildren from morning until evening while their mother works. She finally demanded to be paid. Things took a turn for the worse when her husband found out. You can read the full story here.

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Hello darkness My old friend

3 months ago

What she did was wrong but what the SIL didn't do was also wrong. Watching 2 toddlers is not easy. She should've been paid for her time.

Bylee Malox

3 months ago

And SIL should have paid rent if she didn't want to babysit.

Julia McElroy

3 months ago

Though asking for free babysitting in lieu of rent certainly seems fair OP makes no attempt to suggest it isn't all weekend every weekend.

That's a lot. SIL works, presumably, a full time job then gives up her free time so parents can not be parents for 2 nights.

I'd go insane!

SIL was an AH for stealing, for sure. OP is an AH for expecting indentured servitude.

No one seems to have any respect or regard for each other here.

Vakona Atman

3 months ago

The sister that was staying rent FREE needs the cops called on her. No exception. 1st rent is not cheap. Did she have to pay into bills,food,household stuff? Even so That's access to warmth,a bed, food, stove, shower,toilet, possibly washer,dryer,and dishwasher. If that is the case they are adding on another person an adult person into their financial decisions. Secondly she invited a man into their home without their knowledge, they destroyed the place and robbed them WHILE babies were there. That's child endangerment,and endangerment of a person's well-being, where were the babies while they destroyed the place and robbed them? If she invited this man over once how many times has he been there access to those children. 3rd cool she's your husband's sister. But she put both of your kids in a dangerous position with no regards for them. Even if she put them in their cribs and they slept the whole time. Who's decision was it to do that? She could have easily been killed by the "boyfriend" he could have hurt or killed those babies, burned the house down whatever. Her husband NEEDS to see what could have happened. If he sticks with his decision then he doesn't respect the wife,kids,home/family they built. And she needs to leave him. Yes nothing happened to the babies BUT that was NOT a guarantee ending of that night. Those who are on the sisters side you need to see the whole picture.