My Husband Forbade Me to Pursue My Dream Job, and I Don’t Know If I Should Obey Him

Every marriage is unique, and there is no one-size-fits-all approach. Some couples may find joy and fulfillment in making decisions together, while others may place a higher emphasis on individual freedom. A woman recently posted on Reddit, reaching out to the online community for advice, expressing a challenge she is currently facing within the context of her marital dynamics.

She wrote:

“My husband (38) and I (42) have been together for 7 years and married for 5. We have a son together who is 4 years old. We love each other, and I respect my husband’s opinion but ultimately I’m the one to decide over my body.

An acquaintance of mine and his husband have a small gym wear company and now they have expanded with swimwear and underwear. It is not a very well known company, but apparently they are doing well. The other day, they asked me to model for their underwear line. They’re having models of different ages, etc.

When I told my husband, I didn’t expect him to fly off the handle. He was very angry and told me I was not allowed to do it. I’m sorry but ‘No’?! Yeah, he told me, ‘I don’t want your body out there for everyone to see.’ I mean what does he even mean? I always wear bikinis on the beach, so what’s the difference? Every woman wears bikinis and underwear!

Was I wrong when I told him that he has no right to decide over my body?”

Readers enthusiastically shared their perspectives, offering personal advice.

• “You’re absolutely right, it’s your body and you have every right to decide what to do with it, just keep in mind that logic can be used to justify a lot of things that people will consider dealbreakers in a relationship. Your husband’s ‘I forbid you’ attitude is completely wrong though.” © OctoberBearBoatwrigh / Reddit

• “Your husband can be uncomfortable with it and ask you not to. You have no obligation to listen to him. But when couples completely ignore each other’s wishes out of spite, it tends to hurt the relationship. Like with everything else. You’re free to do it. But you’re not free from the consequences of doing it.” © NessOnett8 / Reddit

• “How did you present it? How did he respond? Was he furious at first, or did tempers escalate if he felt he was not being heard. Does he have controlling tendencies and thus you feel trapped? Or was this the first time he has ever asked you to do something and he is upset you won’t take his feelings into account. Of course you’re free to do whatever you want, a good marriage has open communication though.” © DunKarooDucK05 / Reddit

• “I’d be more interested in the ’why’s. Why does she want to do it, why doesn’t he want her to. But at face value, this is a fairly trivial thing for a husband to harp on, and it comes off as controlling.” © Castro_66 / Reddit

• “You can do whatever you want in life. For the most part, it’s a free country. At least it sounds like it is where you are. But for every action, there is a reaction, whether positive or negative. So you want to model. Your husband doesn’t want you to. Sure, you can do it, but what are the possible repercussions? Your husband is irrated, but gets over it? Or maybe he doesn’t get over it, and it’s a relationship ender? You have to ask yourself what this is worth to you? Is it worth the possibility of ending your relationship over? If it is, go for it.” © Fun_Concentrate_7844 / Reddit
  

• “You don’t have a right to do ‘whatever you want’ in a marriage. Doing ‘whatever you want’ is a childish perspective even for a single person. Once you factor in the financial and legal implications of divorce, it becomes dangerously irresponsible.” © michaelstuttgart-142 / Reddit

After all, the goal of marriage is to create a harmonious and mutually fulfilling relationship that considers the interests and well-being of both individuals. Here we put together 8 key practices couples adopt to build a healthy and lasting marriage.