I Trusted My DIL to Watch My Cats for a Week—And I Came Home to a Heartbreak

Having loved ones you can count on makes all the difference, especially when it comes to your immediate family. I assumed my DIL wouldn’t mind doing a small favor, but I completely misjudged the situation. It made me rethink how much I can truly rely on her moving forward.

I went away for a short trip and asked my DIL to look after my three cats. She lives nearby, and I thought she’d enjoy a change of scenery. I gave her a printed guide, labeled food containers, showed her where the treats were.

I told her to text me if anything felt off. She smiled and said, “Don’t worry. I got this.”

The first two days, she texted short updates. “All good here!” “They’re chilling by the window.” I asked for photos. She always had a reason not to send them.

Then she stopped giving me any updates. By day three, I was too anxious to enjoy the trip. My gut told me something was wrong, so I came home early. No heads-up.

When I opened the door, I was horrified to find the place empty. No pitter-patter of paws. No meows. I called my DIL and asked where my cats were.

She said in a trembling voice, “I couldn’t handle them. They are at a pet hotel. I was going to pick them up before you came back.” I felt heat rise in my face. I couldn’t believe it.

She admitted that after the first night, she decided three cats were “too much.” So she paid to board them somewhere instead, without telling me. She tried to make it sound like a good thing. “They have toys there! People play with them. It’s clean. Safe,” she said.

But I know my cats. They don’t like new spaces. They were probably terrified. I picked them up immediately. They looked confused, but otherwise everything was fine. The staff at the pet hotel were also very kind to me.

My DIL texted me an apology, saying she panicked and didn’t want to disappoint me. That she thought it’d be easier this way.

Now I don’t know what to do. I’m upset, mostly because she lied. If she told me up front, I would’ve found someone else. But she planned to pretend like nothing happened.

Should I let this go and chalk it up to inexperience?

Thank you for opening up about what happened! It’s completely valid to feel hurt when someone you counted on lets you down. If you’re hoping to smooth things over, finding common ground could help rebuild some trust and keep future misunderstandings from growing into bigger problems.

• Have a calm conversation about boundaries and trust. Text apologies are a start, but this situation calls for a real conversation.
  Gently let her know that while you understand she panicked, you needed honesty above all. Tell her how the silence made you anxious, and that finding your home empty only deepened the shock. Expressing this respectfully helps her understand the emotional weight of her choice.
• Be clear about future expectations. After this experience, it’s fair to let her know you’ll be making other arrangements for pet care in the future. Not as punishment, but as a way to avoid further miscommunication.
  Reassure her that you’re not closing off the relationship, just making adjustments to protect everyone’s peace. This gives her room to grow without feeling like she’s failed completely. Sometimes boundaries are the most respectful form of love.
• Give her a chance to rebuild trust in small ways. If she genuinely wants to make things right, allow her to earn back your trust. Maybe ask for help with a one-time errand or a brief visit with the cats while you’re at home.
  See how she handles it with more guidance and check-ins. If she shows responsibility, it might restore some of your comfort over time. You don’t have to jump back in with blind trust, but giving her a path to redemption can be a healthy, generous choice.
• Reflect on how much this situation should shape your relationship. If she’s generally kind, supportive, and respectful in other areas, this may be a case of poor judgment rather than a pattern. Reflecting on the broader relationship can help you decide how to move forward with balance.
  You don’t have to pretend it didn’t happen, but you also don’t have to let it harden your heart completely. Holding people accountable and forgiving them can exist together, when the relationship is worth preserving.

Blending two families under one roof isn’t always easy, especially when everyone’s still adjusting. One woman shared that she made a hard call—she sold her stepdaughter’s cat without telling anyone because her own daughter was scared of it. The situation created a major rift in the household. You can find all the details in her full story.