My Best Friend’s Husband Wants to Be With Me—Now I’m Stuck in a Heartbreaking Dilemma

Our reader feels caught. Her best friend is pregnant, and her husband keeps insisting on more than friendship. Can she keep the secret, or should she reveal the truth? If you vote for the latter, what is the best timing—before or after the baby is born?

Hello, Bright Side,

My name is Natasha. I’ve been best friends with Sara for years. We’re super close, and I’ve always considered her husband, let’s call him Jason, as just a good guy, a great husband, and a supportive father.

A few weeks ago, Jason confessed that he’s attracted to me. He also said that he wanted to keep it a secret. I was shocked and uncomfortable. I told him I wasn’t interested and that I’d never betray Sara like that.

The worst part is that she’s 8 months pregnant. She’s been doing everything alone while he’s away on business. But that didn’t stop him.

His messages started getting darker. He asked for pictures, suggested meetups, and even tried to give me a burner phone number so we could talk more privately. I told him to stop multiple times, but it only got worse.

Honestly, it made me sick to my stomach, but I kept it to myself because I didn’t want to stir things up while Sara was pregnant.

Then, last week, Jason sent a message saying that he was “seriously thinking about leaving Sara” and wanted to be with me. I’m feeling completely disgusted by this whole situation. But now I’m stuck.

I’m debating whether or not to tell Sara about what’s been happening. Part of me feels like she deserves to know the truth, but another part is worried about how it’ll affect her, especially since she’s so close to giving birth.

I don’t want to be the one to break her heart, but I also can’t bear it alone, as the situation only gets worse. Honestly, I’m afraid of how it all may turn out.

Should I just keep this to myself and let them handle their marriage in their own way? What would you do?

Hi Natasha,

The situation is incredibly complicated. Here’s how we would suggest approaching it.

1. Stop any communication with Jason.

• Address it firmly: Tell him directly, “I’m no longer comfortable with our communication, and I don’t wish to be in contact again.” We believe this should be sent via a written message (not a phone call) so it’s clear and formal.
• Block him everywhere: Make sure you’ve blocked him on all platforms—text, social media, email, and even any apps. A complete block ensures there’s no accidental or sneaky way for him to contact you.
• Change your contact info: If you’ve received messages via a burner phone, it’s time to change your phone number. Jason won’t be able to reach you without resorting to extreme measures.
• Set boundaries in person if necessary: If Jason tries to show up at your home, make it clear that his presence is unwelcome. Don’t engage in small talk, just say, “I don’t want you here; please leave.”

2. Make the decision on whether to tell Sara.

• Evaluate the impact of cutting him off: If he continues to push boundaries or if his actions escalate despite your attempts to distance yourself, that could be a signal that you need to take further action. If cutting him off brings peace, and it seems like the situation might resolve itself, you can reconsider the need for confrontation.
• Assess the severity: Evaluate how serious Jason’s behavior has become. If it’s escalated to a point where he’s actively considering leaving his wife and trying to manipulate you, this might be the tipping point for honesty.

3. Prepare for the conversation.

• Choose the right setting: This conversation needs to be private and in a calm environment where Sara can absorb the information. Consider waiting until the baby is born, but don’t put it off for too long. Waiting months will likely hurt her more.
• What to say: Be clear, straightforward, and avoid drama. Stick to the facts and say something like, “Sara, I need to tell you something difficult. I’ve been put in a position where Jason has made inappropriate advances toward me. I told him repeatedly that I wasn’t interested, but his actions became more aggressive. I’m telling you because I care about you and believe you deserve to know the truth.”
• Acknowledge the consequences: Be prepared for the emotional fallout. Sara will likely feel betrayed by both Jason and you. She may also feel devastated and angry. Let her express those emotions and be there to listen.
• Support after the conversation: Understand that this news will be a massive shock to Sara, so be available to her for support after the initial conversation. Be patient and allow her space to process it in her own time. Offer help with the baby if needed.

All in all, this is a painful situation, and no matter how you approach it, there will be consequences. Be honest with yourself about what’s best for everyone in the long run.

Best wishes,
Bright Side

Just as some struggle to do the right thing, there are others like this father, whose story of love and sacrifice might just restore your faith in what really matters. Click to read how this dad changed his life for his daughter in the most touching way possible.