You ever hit that point where you’re doing everything for a sick parent while your sibling just sits around pretending it’s “not their job”? The author of this story finally snapped and gave her brother a wake-up call he’ll never forget, and now she’s split on whether she went too far or just did what had to be done.
Dear Bright Side,
I live with my unemployed 26-year-old brother to help our sick mom. He keeps saying it’s not his job to care for her. Yesterday, when I asked him to help me bring our mom upstairs, he rolled his eyes and slammed his door.
That was the last drop, so I finally decided to teach him a lesson he couldn’t ignore. I packed my things, left a note on the kitchen counter that said, “Since it’s not your job, I quit mine,” and walked out. No calls, no texts. Just silence.
By the next morning, his phone started blowing up, not from me, but from Mom’s care nurse. Turns out, she’d fallen trying to get to the bathroom alone. Nothing too serious, thank God, but enough to shake him. He called me over and over, but I didn’t answer.
When I finally came back that night, he was sitting beside her bed, quiet and guilty, helping her eat soup. He looked like a different person—or maybe just someone who finally saw what I’d been carrying all this time.
Now he’s been helping out more, but the tension’s thick. I don’t trust that it’ll last. Part of me feels bad for what I did; another part thinks it was the only way he’d ever wake up.
Was I too harsh, or did he need that reality check?
— Emily
Kick your brother out, telling him that he needs to find his own place. Tell him that you need his room for the home health aide you need to help you care for your mother. Or tell him you need to rent out the room for the added income to afford home health care for your mother. Either way, you will be able to provide the care for your mother that your brother is unwilling to give.
You had to give your brother a wakeup call. But did it have to be at your mother's expense? What if she got seriously hurt or worse? How would you feel then? What if your brother goes back to his old ways? Do you plan to punish your mother again? Find a different avenue. If it's too much for you, which I understand, then perhaps a care home should be considered.
This story shows how family duties can fall unfairly on one person, sometimes it takes a drastic wake-up call to get through. This mirrors another story where a woman refused to be her brother’s on-call babysitter just because she’s infertile. Read more here.
