My ''Control Freak'' MIL Runs Our Marriage, and My Husband Lets Her

Navigating a marriage can be challenging, especially when a third party starts meddling in your private life. For Frannie, that third party is her mother-in-law. At just 24, Frannie has even turned down her MIL’s generous offer to buy them a house, fearing it would only give her more control over their lives. Recently, an astonishing event unfolded in their home, reinforcing Frannie’s concerns. She reached out to share her story with us.

This is Frannie’s letter:

Thanks for sharing your story, Frannie! Here are a few tips that can help you navigate through this situation.

Communicate openly with your husband.

Find a quiet moment to discuss your feelings with your husband without distractions. Explain how your mother-in-law’s actions, like replacing your bedsheets and throwing away your makeup, make you feel disrespected and controlled.

Use “I” statements, such as “I felt hurt when I saw that my grandmother’s mirror was removed because it holds sentimental value to me.” This approach can help him understand your perspective without feeling attacked.

Set boundaries with your mother-in-law.

Consider having a direct conversation with your mother-in-law about your home and personal belongings. Be firm yet respectful, stating something like, “I appreciate your concern for our home, but I would like to keep my personal items, like my makeup and family heirlooms, as they are.”

Establishing clear boundaries can help reinforce your autonomy in your living space.

Create a joint plan with your husband.

Together, establish guidelines for how to handle situations involving your mother-in-law in the future. For instance, you might agree that any major decisions or changes in your home will be discussed and approved by both of you first.

This can help your husband feel more empowered to stand up for you and establish a united front.

Consider counseling or mediation.

If the situation continues to escalate or if you feel stuck, seeking the help of a marriage counselor or mediator can provide a safe space for both of you to express your feelings and develop strategies to address the issues with your mother-in-law.

A professional can guide discussions and help your husband see the impact of his mother’s behavior on your relationship, promoting healthier dynamics.

Abby is another Bright Side reader seeking advice on how to handle her mother-in-law. During Abby’s baby shower, her MIL presented her with a humiliating gift in front of all the guests. Furious, the expectant mom asked her MIL to leave. This is her story.