My Dad Won’t Go to My High School Graduation and I Don’t Think I Can Ever Forgive Him

Family & kids
6 months ago

The day of a high school graduation is supposed to be filled with joy and pride. It’s a moment where the presence of loved ones adds to the celebration's significance. However, in today's story, a dad's refusal to attend has cast a shadow over this once-bright occasion. His absence felt like a deep betrayal.

He told the internet what happened.

I'm (18m) graduating high school at the end of this month. My dad dropped the bomb on me two nights ago that his stepdaughter (14f) has an award ceremony for some competition she entered and won in another state on that same day, and she really wants him to be there. He told me he couldn't possibly make it to both and since his wife and their children together will be going, he needs to be there too. He told me he would make it up to me and we could celebrate another time.

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𝐰𝐰𝐰.Richnow05

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I still live with him (not for much longer). My mom died when I was 7 and my dad got married again when I was 11 or 12. It's been a few years anyway. His stepdaughter never knew her bio dad, so my dad has accepted her as his own. And he has prioritized her a lot in the last 5/6 years.

It doesn't always show in the most obvious ways, but it can be felt. Father/son time was put on an indefinite hiatus and instead, dad told me we needed to include her in our time together, but he also spent time with just her for father/daughter time. I brought it up to my dad, and he told me I wasn't exactly making an effort to be closer to her, so he wanted us all to bond and didn't want me to just focus on my relationship with him.

He has attended her dance things instead of my basketball games if they're on at the same time. It doesn't matter if mine was known about first, he will still skip my stuff to go to hers. He will take us on family days and whenever he and his wife say "Kids can choose" he picks her choices over mine. He claims it's because they will be the most fun for everyone, but really, he even says it afterward, anything his little princess wants.

Our refrigerator and our shower broke at the same time. His stepdaughter's birthday was coming up so he took money from my birthday fund to pay for that stuff, so his stepdaughter would definitely get what she wanted (this Barbie house thing and a whole fashion set, and they were $250). He didn't get all the money back by the time my birthday came around, so instead he bought me a $30 gift card when he had promised me a new monitor and keyboard for my computer (that was a gift from my grandparents).

When my dad told me he wouldn't be at my graduation to go and support her, I told him there was no making up for that, and he could forget about being included in my life going forward. He told me he would make it up to me and I told him I would always come second to his little princess, and I'm not going to be okay with that. I told him he'd discarded me for the last time. Dad begged me to be reasonable, but I walked away.

Then I invited both sets of grandparents who agreed to come. His wife told me I could have come with them and I didn't need to attend the ceremony but could support "my sister." I said her daughter's not my sister and I do not want to support their family anymore, and I will be out of their hair soon. She called me selfish and told me I couldn't deny her daughter a dad.

People stood on his side.

  • "Graduating HS is a big milestone. It's credible your Dad wants to be there for his stepdaughter. He needs to maintain balance, though, and I feel he should have made time for a once-in-a-lifetime thing for you." Apart-Ad-6518 / Reddit
  • "It could be that the Dad is so focused on NOT treating the stepdaughter as secondary that he's completely oblivious to the fact that he has fully moved his son into that position." wolfcaroling / Reddit
  • "I'm glad that you have supportive grandparents. He's your dad, and he isn't acting like it at all. You're being denied your dad by what has been going on. He should be ashamed." DearOP / Reddit
  • "Also, your step-sister has one parent who can attend, her mum. You only have one living parent, so he should come to yours. On the days when there are important things that clash, it’s fair that each child gets one parent in attendance." Iforgotmypassword126 / Reddit
  • "Besides the fact that that's his stepdaughter, high school graduation trumps essentially all childhood activities in priority of attendance by parents." ConfidentSun9592 / Reddit
  • "I would cut these toxic people out. You are obviously the afterthought. They don't consider your feelings, but they demand that you make concessions and sacrifices for the golden child of the family. No. The moment they treated you like that, you should have gone to live with your grandparents." Icy_Eye1059 / Reddit

While the future remains uncertain, this experience taught us that forgiveness is a complex and personal journey. For now, he must find strength in his own accomplishments and the support of those who chose to stand by his side.

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