A wedding dress can hold immense significance and is often considered one of our most precious belongings. This is why Madeline wanted to pass her mother’s wedding dress to her only son’s bride. The bride accepted, but Madeline was crushed to see her beloved dress fully altered. Things took a turn for the worse at the wedding, and Madeline later wrote to us to share her story.
You made her feel obligated to wear an old outdated dress so she made it her own. You should've said not to alter it and then she could've picked her own dress. That's a you problem. Cutting her dress was petty and will most likely alienate you from their lives.
Hi Madeline! Thank you for sharing your story. Here are some tips that might help you.
Arrange a private meeting with your son and his bride to calmly express your feelings about the dress and its sentimental value. Explain why it hurt you to see it altered and how much it meant to you. Listen to their perspective as well, acknowledging the pressure your request may have put on your daughter-in-law. This can help mend relationships and foster understanding.
Consider involving a neutral third party, such as a family counselor or mediator, to facilitate a discussion between you, your son, and his wife. This can provide a structured environment to address the hurt and misunderstandings, helping everyone express their feelings and find a way to move forward without further conflict.
Rather than dwelling on the altered dress, shift your focus to creating new, positive memories with your son and daughter-in-law. Offer to help them plan a special dinner after their honeymoon or a future family event. This approach shows your willingness to move past the incident and support their happiness.
Take the dress to a professional seamstress to see if it can be restored to its original design or altered in a way that honors both your mother’s memory and your son’s new family. This gesture could symbolize healing and compromise, showing that while the dress was altered, its significance and your love for it remain intact. Consider including your daughter-in-law in this process as a way to bond and find common ground.
Norma is another MIL who didn’t have the smoothest experience at her son’s wedding. Despite the bride meticulously planning the menu, Norma went behind her back and hired another caterer to make the barbecue. What happened next was dramatic, and Norma wrote to us seeking advice.
For me NTA.. it's not like she can't refused it, she just felt awkward to refuse..what makes her think that it's a great idea to altered something meaningful like that..idk about others but I'm the type to seek meaningful value in something..and if someone belittle my things like that i would freak out..soft YTA because of your revenge.. it's valid to feel bad and sad about it but to make her also feels it felt very wrong..if it's me idgaf, but it'll make your relationship worse than it already is..so basically ESH..it does give me a short satisfaction tho.. pardon me if i use the wrong grammar it's not my first language
AH. You can't expect someone to wear a hand me down dress from another decade and not update it. This is the bride's day and you made it all about you. Good luck with your relationship moving forward. I'll bet you will be ostracized at some point and have no contact with any future grand children. You reap what you sow.
