Graduation day usually means celebration, pride, and family cheering in the stands. But for one of our readers, it turned into a moment of heartbreak. She shared with us how her parents’ choice that day made her feel like she would never come first.
I am so sorry that you had to experience so much hurt and pain from your adoptive parents that have no emotional maturity!! The best revenge is to live your best life and be happy without them!!! Wishing you your best life moving forward!!!
Hi Bright Side,
I honestly don’t even know why I’m writing this, maybe because I feel like I’m going crazy. I’m Callie, 22, and yeah... I’m adopted. My parents, Nora and James, always said they loved me, but Sienna, their biological daughter, has always been the princess. Everything is about her. Always.
I let it slide my whole life. I told myself it didn’t matter. But last month was my college graduation. First person in the family to graduate, I was so proud. I told them the time, the place, begged them not to be late. And guess what? They didn’t arrive on time.
They walked in after it was all over. I was outside already, holding my cap, trying not to cry, and when I saw them I snapped. I told them, “You think showing up late is okay? Don’t even bother coming.”
And they just stood there like nothing. Then they explained that Sienna wanted some stupid “rare” Labubu plush keychain, and they went across town to pick it up during my graduation.
Don't worry about what happened. Deep inside, you must know that your way better than they will ever be. I'm also always second on my dad's list. My parents are divorced, and my sister will always be first pick. He buys whatever she wants while I have to earn my own money and buy my own clothes. But guess what? In ten years, I'll be the one knowing how to do things, knowing how to cook and clean and do everything else. While I throw the garbage and cook and clean and do the laundry, she sits there and watches her darn ipad. And in ten years, what will that benefit her with? Nothing. Keep on growing and don't let other people stop you.
A stuffed toy. Over me. Over one of the biggest moments of my life. I lost it. I went home, packed a bag, and left.
My mom cried and said I was overreacting. My dad said, “You know how sensitive Sienna is, we didn’t want to upset her.” What about me?
Now my friends say they’d cut contact forever. Some say I’ll regret it. I don’t know. I just feel empty and humiliated.
So tell me, am I being dramatic? Or is it okay to finally admit my family never really chose me, and maybe I shouldn’t choose them either?
— Callie
We know it’s not easy to put something so painful into words, and we truly value your honesty. Here are some not-so-typical ideas that might help you move forward. Some are for protecting yourself, and others could open a door if you ever decide to repair things with your family.
Tell the story to someone your parents respect, maybe an aunt, grandparent, or close family friend. Not to gossip, but because parents sometimes only wake up when they realize how embarrassing their actions sound to others.
If they ruined the day, reclaim it. Put on your cap and gown again, ask a friend to take pictures, throw your own toast. Giving yourself the celebration they denied you is more powerful than waiting for them to make it up.
You told them in advance about the graduation. You gave them the information about where, time, date so on and so forth. I feel like that you had the right to be upset about the reason of them being late. Congratulations on your degree.
Next time they say, “But Sienna was upset,” drop a line like, “Right, my college degree was no big deal.” A sarcastic sting often lands harder than another lecture.
Instead of repeating the same fight, try sending one blunt message: “Let me know if you ever want to meet the daughter who graduated.” It’s short, it’s cold, and it forces them to sit with it.
Use what happened as motivation to build your independence, financially and emotionally. Save up, move forward, show them you don’t need their approval to succeed. That alone can change the entire balance of power.
Callie’s story is heartbreaking and messy, and it leaves us wondering: how much favoritism can someone take before they finally walk away? Was she right to pack her bags after such a betrayal, or should she try to forgive her parents for choosing a toy over her once-in-a-lifetime achievement? What do you think, Bright Side readers?
If you want to read more shocking family stories, check out this article about a woman who faced heartbreaking problems with her stepmother.
You don't need to go no contact, but definitely don't nake them a priority in your life. Why should you go out of your way to be there for people who have repeatedly proved they'll only show up when it's convenient? You don't need to ignore their calls, but you don't need to consider their feelings when making decisions either. They can learn about your achievements from Facebook like other casual aquaintances.
Go nc. I had to do it 2x with my parents before my mother died. Remember family isn't always blood related. My bff family has always been more of family to me then my own family. Brother was always the golden child. They gave the pretense of trying to show people they were loving parents. But anyone who knew me could see the big discrepancies in the way I was treated to the way he was treated. I've always been considered one of their children. They love me more then my own family. Find the family you want and screw the one you were adopted into. That was ridiculous about the toy. Those are the most God awful looking toys I have ever seen
Sienna KNOWS she is the favorite! I bet she chose that moment to want her rare keychain! To see if her parents would choose her or you! I'm so sorry that happened Callie! As far as nc that's up to u but you were right to pack and leave!
The fact that you "let it slide" tells me you're already emotionally more mature than the people who raised you. You're not crazy and you know it. Trust your instinct, move forward. You don't have to go no contact right now, but I do suggest you put a big space in your life between you and them for a long time. You're going to grow more as a person without them. You can decide later if you want to go no contact completely. I'm really sorry this happened to you, it's really sad when the people who raise us are less mature than the people they raised.
Oh, god… that’s truly cruel. I’m so sorry for you
