My Friend Demanded That My Entire Wedding Be Vegan

year ago

My Friend Demanded That My Entire Wedding Be Vegan

When she started planning her wedding, she thought it would be all about her and her partner. But somehow, her friend took over, insisting the entire event had to be 100% vegan. At first, it seemed like the friend was just passionate about beliefs, but as the pressure mounted, it became clear there was another reason behind the push—one that had nothing to do with ethics.

Tough situation, but everything worked out in the end. For the future, in similar situations, try to keep these suggestions in mind.

Communicate the menu clearly.

When dealing with guests who have strong dietary preferences, lay it out early: “The menu is set, but I’ve made sure there’s a vegan option.” That way, there’s no debate later.

Lee Rita

2 weeks ago

I respect other people's choices, but I've often seen that it doesn't go the other way with vegans. I know a few people who are vegans. When they've come to my house, I've asked what they would like so I can have it for them. When we've gone out to eat I ask them what restaurants they prefer. They don't have a problem with the fact that I choose to eat meat or other animal products. Or, if they do, they don't mention it.

However, I've seen many vegans post on social media that they expect their non-vegan friends to conform to their lifestyle and preferences. If I was going to one of their houses, I'd eat before I got there or wouldn't go at all.

Assign a “bouncer”.

Have a trusted friend or relative who can step in fast if a guest causes a scene. In this case, they could’ve calmly escorted the guy out before he ruined the mood.

Confirm plus-one behavior expectations.

Since her boyfriend was the real problem, next time, make it clear that plus-ones should be respectful. A quick, direct message like, “Hey, I just want to make sure your guest is cool with everything—no surprises, right?” could have saved the day.

Set hard boundaries with friends.

If a friend starts making demands (like insisting on a fully vegan wedding), shut it down early. A firm but polite “I respect your choices, but this is what we’ve decided” stops the back-and-forth before it escalates.

Talk to the friend in advance.

If you sense tension (like your friend being unusually pushy about the menu), pull her aside before the event. A quick “Is something else going on here?” might have helped her admit she was worried about her boyfriend’s reaction, giving you a chance to handle it beforehand.

Move on quickly.

When something embarrassing happens, the faster you redirect attention, the better. If someone disrupts your wedding, immediately start the next event (first dance, cake cutting, anything!) to shift the focus back where it belongs.

Reevaluate your friendship.

Your friend was in a tough position, but she also let things escalate. If she’s truly sorry and this was a one-time mistake, you can move past it. But if she’s minimizing what happened or blaming you, ask yourself if this friendship still adds value to your life.

Being vegan means choosing your own diet, not forcing it on others—just as no one should be forced to eat meat. Respect should go both ways.