My Stingy Friend Threw a Ridiculous Wedding—She Has No Shame

A woman recently took to the internet to share a frustrating story about a former friend’s wedding demands and subsequent hypocrisy. Her tale of unreasonable expectations and a clear double standard has resonated with many. It perfectly highlights the complexities that can arise within friendships, especially around major life events.

Here is her story:

[edited] I had a former, very stingy friend from undergrad who invited me to be at her wedding, but she was being really stingy. It felt like she wanted everyone to show up for her, traveling four times for her events, but wasn’t willing to accommodate anyone in return.

She threw this very extravagant, pretty large, ridiculous wedding, around 300-person, I think—and banned all plus ones to save money. This applied even if the individual was a long-term partner, someone in the wedding party, or even if the guest was engaged or married, unless she was personally close to the spouse. I’m talking close friends and coworkers couldn’t bring their husbands, and the significant others of the wedding party were not permitted.

Her reasoning? She wanted to get the most “bang for her buck” by “having only people there who are directly related to her, not their partners, with their free meals.”

The extravagant wedding plans raise eyebrows, but a personal insult deepens the frustration.

Instead of just making it clear that she didn’t want to meet new people at her wedding or simply didn’t have room, she texted me to insult my long-term boyfriend. She said things like, “Oh well, he’s kind of weird and you guys are odd, etc., and I don’t want him there.” It was so unnecessary and nasty. Why be like that?

She literally called my boyfriend “weird” and still expected me to travel four times for her wedding events.

The travel demands become too much.

She then sent me invitations to fly to her area, which is a couple of hours outside of New York City. This wasn’t a simple trip; it involved flying into a smaller regional airport and then renting a car. And she expected this for the engagement party, the shower, the bachelorette, and the wedding itself.

I said absolutely no, and backed out of being in the wedding party as well, because she basically wouldn’t let someone be in the wedding party and only come to the wedding. The whole thing was honestly wild and really out of touch.

Apparently, her mom saw her texting me and yelled at her for breaking all etiquette rules, so she had to replan the entire wedding. Then, she sent me a half-hearted apology, trying to explain why she had utilized poor planning in the first place, instead of genuinely apologizing for what she said and how she said it.

Then, she just slapped my significant other’s name on an invitation and mailed it, as if that fixed everything. Instead of owning up to the situation, she texted me that she hopes I invite her to my wedding one day (definitely not happening).

The tables turn, revealing a double standard.

Now, months later, a friend wants her to travel for an event in my city. For my friend, this would be a short flight out of their small regional airport into my major city, or about four hours on the train, or six hours by car. Stingy as she is, she audaciously texted me saying something truly unbelievable.

She complained about how it is too much of an ask for her to come down for one weekend to see these other people. She then said that she doesn’t feel like spending any money — “it’s an expensive year for me,” in her words — on flying, driving, or train tickets, even though she will have a free place to stay with those people.

And yet, she wanted me to make that same kind of journey four times in one year for her? The audacity!

People on the internet supported her.

• Drop her. This is not a friend. This is embarrassing. She sounds insufferable. © Maggie_cat / Reddit
• You respond via text: “So, let me get this straight. You expected your wedding party to fly into your small, expensive regional airport 4 times in one year, and yet you aren’t willing to do the bare minimum for a friend? Nice. Real nice. You are a class act.”
  Aaaannnnd block. She is not your friend. She is not their friend. You all were merely props in her wedding. © Organic-Willow2835 / Reddit
• Honestly, the fact that she could find 300 people without spouses is pretty incredible. © ThatMusicKid/ Reddit
• Ugh. Who would want to be the guest of a person who thinks their own wedding guests are freeloaders? © Muvseevum / Reddit
• The gratuitous insult of your BF means the friendship is over. © Ma****ntPizza5444 / Reddit
• “I had a former friend.” Exactly. Leave it that way. © toolatealreadyf**** / Reddit

This story serves as a stark reminder of how wedding planning can sometimes bring out unexpected sides of people and test the limits of friendship. For more stories on navigating tricky social situations, check this article.