My Housemate Is Not Allowing Me to Shower During My Period

On Reddit, a female user recently posted a thought-provoking story, aiming to gather feedback on the ethical nature of her conduct with her male housemate. In the upcoming article, we will explore her narrative and uncover a wide array of reader reactions, most of which expressed a unanimous concern regarding the overall scenario.

This is what she wrote.

“I (31F) live in a shared house. One of the housemates, Jack (M30), has never lived with a woman outside of his mother but likes to say that he is ’aware’ of women’s issues and calls himself a feminist. For instance, he doesn’t agree with the saying ‘no uterus, no opinion’ because, as he says, ’It’s my job to be informed about any issues that could affect me if I become a father or husband,’ which was fine until it came to this issue...

So, like most biological women, I have periods. I, however, cannot use tampons or cups due to a condition called vaginismus. It’s pads all the time for me — yay. I also (I know, the shock!) shower during this time! Wow! I prepare a new pad on a clean pair of undies, shower as usual, dry myself off in the shower, and then step straight into the undies. And obviously, check the bathroom for a mess. Jack’s never complained — nor has anyone else, so I figured my ’system’ was working.”

“Cue today — and I can’t shower for 48 hours due to a heart monitor test. I was jokingly complaining about how I was going to ’survive’ without my nightly shower, and Jack looked up confused and said
’How is this any different to when you’re on your period?’

I asked him what he meant, and he said, ’Well, you can’t shower on your period unless you use a tampon,’ and I laughed because I thought he was joking — he has shown before that he was at least semi-educated on women — which he got angry at.

Jack said, ’Wait — well, what do you do?’ and I said slowly ’I shower?’ - I wasn’t getting it I’m afraid. Jack said, ’Without protecting MY bathroom?’ (he does not own the house) and then went off.”

“Apparently, my period is unhygienic, it can cause infection if left on the shower floor, and he was under the impression I hadn’t been showering for a week when I had my period or that I was using tampons.

I said that due to (aforementioned) reasons, I can’t use tampons, and he told me then I’m ’banned’ from showering when I’m on my period, which I laughed again at, which I did apologize for, and said, ’I’m sorry for laughing — but the audacity of that statement.’”

“I told Jack he has no way of enforcing this — nor would I be sticking to this, and he said, ’Fine. Then every time you shower, you need to bleach the bathroom afterward’ to which I couldn’t help but laugh again — apologizing — but saying, ’We’re in a shared house. That’s not reasonable when other people need to shower/use the toilet, and considering I’m sure at least SOMEBODY else pees in the shower, it is ridiculous to only enforce on me.’

I brought that up, and he said, ’Nobody does that — I’ve never heard of that in my life.’ So I just had to walk away.

Jack’s been complaining to other housemates about this and saying that they need to ’watch out for me’ and we all just think he’s absurd for ’banning’ me, but a couple of us think that I should just at least try and compromise, so I’m confused.”

Reddit users supported her unanimously.

Following the unfolding of these events, the young lady remained in a state of confusion. So readers were keen to express their viewpoints concerning this sensitive situation, focusing not only on the girl’s actions but primarily on her housemate’s unrealistic request.

• He’s more than welcome to bleach the tub right before he showers though. Because he will NEVER know when you’re on your period again. Keep him guessing as to whether you’re menstruating or not, so he can bleach the tub every time he uses it. It’s a win-win. He gets to have an “uncontaminated” shower, and everyone else gets a super disinfected and clean tub! Boss_B***_Werk / Reddit
• And there is no compromise here. He’s a child, plain and simple. It will always astound me the way some men (immature men) act and react to the very normal bodily process of a period. This girl has been showering on her period this whole time, and you never had a clue! So clearly, there is no problem here, it wasn’t hurting you when you didn’t know, and it will continue that way. Mrs_N2020 / Reddit
• There is no compromise... DO NOT start bleaching the showers for him. It’ll just enable him to keep moving the goal. “Wait, you’re washing your period panties in our shared washing machine?” “Wait, you leave your pads in the trash can outside? The poor raccoons!” " Wait, you’re baking cookies on your period? Don’t you know that can cause infection?" etc. CheckIntelligent7828 / Reddit

In a different narrative, a man found himself in an uncomfortable situation when he confronted his stepdaughter about leaving her used period products on full display in a shared bathroom. And he was lucky to get the proper guidance.