My Husband Exchanges Secret Messages With My Female Friend

Sharing rides with friends can be a great way to save gas and the environment. But sometimes, it can cause a little jealousy, especially if you start noticing strange things between your partner and your friend. Like our reader who found herself wondering if seemingly innocent comments hide something more.

One of our readers contacted us.

Thank you for reaching out to us! We understand your worry and would like to give you some tips.

Gather more info.

Right now, "snack" seems suspicious, but it could be innocent. Look for clearer signs. This can be tricky, but if you leave your phone unlocked, and they casually chat freely with him around, see if their messages mention anything specific besides "snacks." (Warning: Don't snoop directly, it can break trust).

Do they linger close together when talking? Is there a lot of touching or private whispering? Notice any changes in their behavior.

Don’t jump to conclusions.

Feeling suspicious is okay, but jumping to conclusions can damage your relationship. If their explanations are reasonable and their behavior doesn’t change, try to relax. Maybe the “snack talk” is an inside joke you don’t get.

Suggest spending more time together. Get to know her better and see how they interact in a group setting.

Be more specific.

Instead of a broad “What are you talking about?” try something like, “You guys mentioned grabbing snacks after work the other day. What kind of snacks were you thinking of?”

See if their answer aligns with the “snack” conversation you overheard. If they mention “snacks” after work, and it seems flirtatious, ask if they’re planning to grab a casual bite or if it’s more of a late-night hangout.

Ask him to stop.

Be upfront about your discomfort with the secret messages. Tell him you'd like them to stop using them. By directly asking him to stop, you're setting a clear boundary and expressing your need for transparency.

It's okay to be assertive about what makes you feel uncomfortable. If he's hesitant or dismissive of your request, it might be a sign of something deeper that needs to be addressed.

Wedding planning should be a blast, but sometimes, one tiny detail can turn the whole thing upside down. Like our reader’s situation, for example. His future wife picked out a wedding dress that’s a bit too revealing for his more traditional family. And to make matters worse, the dress is non-refundable. Now, he’s stuck trying to figure out how to talk to his fiancée about it without ruining their big day.