My Husband Refused to Let Me Go on a Girls’ Trip, and His Excuse Left Me Fuming

Ah, Miami—sunshine, sand, and a chance to relax. But a last-minute change of plans turned one trip into a full-blown argument.

From dream trip to drama

What began as a mutual plan quickly twisted into a one-sided shutdown. As the original poster (26F) explains:

“Here’s the backstory. We had planned a trip with our friends—both his and mine. He and I were planning a trip to Miami to see his friends, and my friends came up to me a little afterwards and said that they wanted to plan a trip to Miami. I discussed it with my husband to get his opinion on whether we should just do one big trip together or separate.

We decided to go on a trip with our friends since it’s cheaper that way. Then we started to plan the trip. But when his friends backed out and said they couldn’t come, my husband suddenly lost interest in going altogether. We were still planning the trip, but I started to hear less and less from my husband and anything he wanted to do on the trip.”

Her husband, it seems, had no problem with the plan until it meant she’d be surrounded by her friends and not his. That’s when the real objection surfaced:

“So it seemed my husband lost interest in going. I asked him if he still wanted to go since he would be the only guy there, and he’s not really cool with my friends. Now, he said that he doesn’t think it’s a good idea for either of us to go because we’re going to be moving, and it’s not a good idea financially. He never mentioned anything about this beforehand when his friends were going. Now that they aren’t going, it’s no longer a good idea.

Before I continue, I want to address the moving situation. At this time, we’re living with my mom because we’re waiting for housing. We’re not paying movers or anything. We don’t have a lot of stuff, and we’re getting a U-Haul that’s going to probably be about $100.

My friends and family are helping out (the same exact friends I’m going on a trip with). And I let him know that it wasn’t expensive to move out of our old apartment. We’re moving up the street, not to a different state.

I reminded him of this, and I also asked him how it was a good idea before, and ’now your friends backed out, and now you think it’s a bad idea.’ He said he’s always thought it was a bad idea, he just didn’t say anything...”

The tension deepens when finances enter the chat. She writes:

“Now he doesn’t want me to go with my friends either. Next, he said that I should use my money to save it and pay down credit card bills. Here is my issue with that. I am the finance person in the house. My husband hates it when I say we need to save money and pay off debt. He tells me that I’m acting like a mom and that I don’t have the right to tell him what to do with his money.

So we made an agreement that we combined our finances and everything in the household gets paid first, I.e, bills, debt, groceries, savings. Whatever is left over, we split it 50-50, and we can’t dictate what either of us does with that money since it’s our money. His words, by the way.

Now he’s telling me that I don’t need to spend my money to go to Miami, and I need to save it to put it back into the house. I reminded him that he’s done with the household money. We prioritize the house first before what we personally want. Whatever I have left over, I’m saving my personal money to go on the trip, and he can’t tell me what I’m supposed to do with my money.”

Not only is he contradicting their agreement, but it’s all one-sided. She points out:

“I also want to add he’s not saying the same thing about his personal money, just my own. I told him he can’t tell me what I can or can’t do with my personal money. That’s something we agreed on because he didn’t want that to be done to him. He said that he’s not telling me, but he’s highly recommending it. But he’s literally telling me what to do with my money.”

“Then he said that going on a girls’ trip to Miami is a single people activity, and a married woman shouldn’t be going to Miami. I have to be honest, that threw me for a loop. I just wanted to go on a trip with my friends.

He said, ’I don’t think it’s best for a married woman to go on a girls’ trip. I know two people are married, but one girl isn’t, and I just think that’s single people’s activities.’ I asked how I am acting single by going on a trip with my friends. He said that he didn’t say I was acting single, but that it’s single people’s activities.

I used to live in Key West as a kid. We would travel to Miami a lot, and I haven’t been back since. Down there, we were going to Key West to see my childhood home. On top of everything, my husband has the full itinerary of what we’re going to be doing in Miami. It’s full of museums and sightseeing,” she added.

“It hurt my feelings that he thinks that of me, and he’s pushing it so hard that I’m acting single if I go to Miami. But now I don’t know what to do. I feel like he’s trying to control me, or he’s upset that his friends are not going, so he’s taking it out on me.

I’ve never been on a girls’ trip before. The only trip I’ve ever been on is with family or with him. He’s been on trips where it’s just him, and we were just talking about him going to see his best friend in Texas, and I’m supporting him and telling him to go. But when it’s me, I’m acting single and being irresponsible. So am I wrong? Should I sit this one out?” she concluded, questioning her decision.

Reactions poured in on Reddit.

• My girlfriends asked me to go to Europe for a week and take a tour of fun Christmas sights. I told my husband about it and wanted to discuss it. Seemed expensive to me.
  He listened and said, “Christmas markets? And a different city every night? Oh, yeah. You should actually go because that sounds like a nightmare to me. I will never take you. But you would love that. You should absolutely go with them if you ever want to see those things.”
  LOL. I went. It was incredible. Marry someone who wants good things to happen to you. GO TO MIAMI. © Raging_chihuahua / Reddit
• I’ve been married for 33 years. I’m 60 and my husband is 59. We have a great friendship/marriage. He will go to Broadway shows, but absolutely despises musicals. My daughters and I both love musicals, as do my friends. I would also find going into Christmas city/shop/themed events to be a great idea, and he would not.
  At this point in our relationship, he has no problem telling me that my great idea does not sound like something that he would enjoy, and typically suggests that I go with someone else and have fun! Similarly, if there is something he wants to do with his workmates or college friends, and I don’t, I encourage him to participate and enjoy that activity.
  The difference is... We both love and respect each other, and are always putting the other person first. It doesn’t sound like that is the case in this relationship.
  Too many double standards, and the husband is not respecting his wife or going back on previously agreed protocols when it suits his narrative. They agreed that they can each have the same amount of spending money to do with as they please... But he still wants to control hers? © Tattletale-1313 / Reddit
• Similar story. A few girlfriends were planning a trip to Greece. I mentioned it’s on my bucket list, and my boyfriend, now fiancée, asked if I wanted to go. Obviously, yes, but I, being a single mom, couldn’t afford it.
  He paid for my whole trip. Greece wasn’t somewhere he wanted to visit, and he wanted me to go. He even watched my daughter while I was gone. Marrying that guy next year! © redlin165 / Reddit

Relationships aren’t always easy—they can bring up tough talks of any kind. This Miami trip isn’t just a getaway; it’s about trust, independence, and how couples learn to work as a team without stepping on each other’s toes.